I thought after all my vampire-related posts this week, now would be a good time to discuss A Discovery of Witches. And then I remembered that I’m out of vampire puns, which is a *bit* bat… get it, cos if I was Dracula and I was talking with an accent, “bad” would sound like “bat”- ok, ok, that was terrible. I give up, on with the review…
So this book is an interesting one. At first, when I started it I though *oh great a vampire book for adults!* and by the time I finished it I was like *oh bloody hell it’s a vampire book for adults*. Because that’s one of the main issues with the book. It’s like a YA book that never grew up. In theory, that should be great- it should be the Peter Pan of New Adult literature- but it isn’t. Instead, it’s like an overgrown child trapped in an adult’s body, with weird temperamental mood swings, stuck in that transitional phase where you can drive a car, get married, but not watch a movie rated 18.
When I was halfway through and couldn’t get into it, my friend said she liked it because, she said “it’s like Twilight for adults”. And when she said that it totally clicked why I didn’t like it. I mean it’s got all the trivial things of Twilight, like:
- Eating toast- seriously- why is this woman obsessed with toast so much?
- Exercise- I’ll admit I liked the idea of Vampire Yoga, but the descriptions are not as funny as it sounds. Anyway, if that kind of exercise makes you interested in this book, then never fear! There’s plenty of rowing to make you all excited.
- Research- lots and lots of exciting research- which, even if you enjoy doing, isn’t as fun reading about second hand, I assure you.
Very exciting stuff. It reminds me why I never wanted to grow up. And on top of that, we’re not spared all the angsty drama we get in teenage books. Seriously, it’s loaded with all the tropes you get in a YA book. I mean the main character is a plain Jane, *special snowflake*, who’s in insta-love with the hottest guy ever. Funnily enough, these tropes don’t get better when the main character’s older- in fact it makes her seem even more ridiculous. I mean, she’s *literally* an Oxford professor, but she hasn’t figured out the difference between lust and love yet?
And even if you’re one of the rare people that likes insta-love, I have to tell you that unfortunately, the love in this book is far from a mind-blowing romance. Because there is nothing mind-blowing about their love. It’s staid and boring and as far from mind-blowing as is humanly possible. Oh, unless you count how mind-blowingly daft the main character is to run off with the guy she’s been dating for no time at all (yeah, I totally support people trusting complete strangers, especially when said-stranger admits they’re hundreds of years old and a vampire… *heavy sarcasm*). It’s the same old same old dressed up in old, staid, professor-y clothes.
Yet, in spite of all these trashy tropes, I think the author actually believes there’s something profound in these books. Somewhere between all the rambling about what a great historian the main character is, the author also throws in some weird stuff about how she came to have her phenomenal powers (as I said, she’s a textbook special snowflake) and how the world works- or something. And there’s stuff about Witches and other creatures… But honestly I stopped paying attention. Convoluted made-up science magic is never a good idea. Don’t get me wrong, I like good world-building- but in my opinion, the key to every great idea is simplicity. And that is above all what this book is missing.
Rating: 1 banana
It’s far from fangtastic (sorry I couldn’t resist!)
I remember starting this one several years ago, but giving up after the first hundred pages or so. I just didn’t find it very gripping, sounds like it didn’t improve at all! Sorry it was such a big disappointment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah I found it got more and more boring as it progressed!
LikeLike
Oh my, however did you finish it?! Well you’ll be on to more addictive, compelling reads now. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
haha yeah, I’ve stopped finishing books like that now. exactly 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep, life is too short. Unless some tells you it gets good later on…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah exactly 🙂 I think the perfect example of that is the Magician’s Guild by Trudi Canavan. The person that recommended that to me warned me it has a slow start (and it did) but it got really good (which it did) 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ok, that is it exactly! I could not put my finger on why I didn’t like that series (and yes, for some reason, I slogged through all three books – it doesn’t get better), but it IS Twilight for adults! Your review is great.
LikeLiked by 1 person
yeah it took me ages to figure out why I didn’t like it too
Thanks so much! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol I love the vampire references and jokes. I haven’t read this one, but it was on my tbr list. I might just cross it off.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well some people are saying in the comments that they liked it and my friend did too, so you never know, you might like it, but I’m not gonna recommend it
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmm, I’ll weigh the pros and cons. I don’t know how I would like an adult novel to sound like research and having the narrative sound younger.
LikeLiked by 1 person
haha yeah, well I certainly didn’t like it. The main character reminded me of a mix between one of those whiney ya heroines and an old uni professor who I hated
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s definitely not a good combo.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This might seem totally off-the-wall, but why would vampires need to exercise? It’s so…unnecessary! They’re not alive, therefore they can’t sweat or burn calories because they can’t eat. I don’t know why that’s what upset me the most about this book based on your review, but it REALLY did. Oh, and personally I hate insta-love so…I’m out! Very funny and descriptive review 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha to be honest, it was weird in the book too. Haha yeah- that has to be up there as one of my least favourite tropes. Thanks very much! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, I could tell from the review. I won’t be picking this up anytime this lifetime, but kudos to you for finishing it. And yupp, insta-love is up there with love triangles.
LikeLiked by 1 person
haha oh gosh- they’re both awful- but I can never no decide which one is worse
LikeLike
Imagine a book where there’s insta-love and a love triangle…I’m never tempted to harm books, after all books are people too(lol), but I might in that instance.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Unfortunately- I can imagine that very easily- there are loads of them about. haha I completely agree with both those statements
LikeLike
I came to enjoy this series, but the first book, I agree, was a little tough to get through. I had friends who like it a lot more than I did, but I don’t think it was a complete failure!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah it was just too slow for me and I didn’t connect with it, which made me focus on the flaws too much. But loads of people like it and I usually agree with my friend who recommended it to me, so I was surprised I didn’t like it too
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on messymess.
LikeLike