I must love courting controversy or something- cos I am pretty excited to do this tag- even though it’ll probably get me into trouble…. Ah well, c’est la vie! Anyway, I’ve always loved this tag, so thank you so much to A Novel Glimpse for tagging me to do it! Alrighty then- let’s get to it!
An Over-Hyped Book:
Situation: You’re in a store when the zombie apocalypse hits. The military informs everyone that over-hyped books are the zombies only weakness. What book that everyone else says is amazing but you disliked do you start chucking at the zombies?
Okay, okay- this is going to come as a shock to some people, but I didn’t like the Fault In Our Stars. Just be appeased by my casual reference to the book and *look away now*- cos damn that is a dumb reference. What? You’re not supposed to be reading this! Fine, if you’re still reading this, and haven’t turned away in disgust, then here are my reasons for not liking Fault In Our Stars:
- It’s obvious- I guessed what was gonna happen when they introduced Augustus as “in remission”- I mean, I’ve read other books about cancer before- heck I’ve read other books before period- it may as well have been a big neon sign HE’S GONNA DIE!
- Even if it wasn’t obvious, I didn’t connect with the characters enough to care. Because they all spoke in the most stilted unnatural way and were so far from actually being humans, I couldn’t relate- at all.
- In fact, the whole thing slaps you round the face with pretentious “metaphors”- and if that wasn’t bad the characters themselves described their own actions as metaphors- ughh get the sick bucket quick!
- The kiss in the Anne Frank house was distasteful. I don’t know what kind of weird wish fulfilment was going on here- but why on earth did Green think it should be applauded? Having cancer does not give you the excuse to be disrespectful about holocaust victims. I don’t have the faintest idea why Green drew parallels here- but it was so inappropriate.
I could go on, but I think I may have pissed off TFIOS fans enough for one day….
Situation: torrential downpour. What sequel are you willing to use as an umbrella to protect yourself?
I know I’ve used this before too, but I have to pick any Twilight sequel. Surprising as this might be I didn’t totally hate the first one- and if it had ended at that my ire for the series wouldn’t have grown into fully fledged disgust. Cos that series got progressively more dumb. I mean this is how the rest of the series goes:
Sequel 1: “Oh no Edward broke up with me!! Let’s do reckless things and talk to myself so he’ll come back to me- no I’m not crazy. I’m just so in loooovvee- whine whine whine. Ooh evil vampire council has basically decreed we must be together for eternity- that’s convenient.”
Sequel 2: “Ahh the dastardly vampire council might attack us! And the murder rate is up in Seattle. But never mind all that- I don’t want to get married to the man I love- I just want him to turn me into a vampire- wah! And also I kind of sort of like Jacob enough to string him along- and that’s fine cos he won’t take no for an answer anyway.”
Sequel 3: “Yay I’m married. Oh and now I’m preggars- whoops. Oh, the babies just ripped itself out of me- how lovely. And now I’m a vampire. Oh my former beau Jacob is in love with my baby- wait what??!!!?!? Never mind that- the evil vampire council are coming… oh wait, forget it, they left again. Let’s not worry about the creepy pedophilia shall we…”
Ok on second thoughts, my final choice is Breaking Dawn cos- eww.
(and yes I totally got carried away with that)
Situation: You’re in English class and your professor raves about a Classic that “transcends time”. If given the opportunity to travel back in time, which Classic would you try to stop from ever publishing?
I would love to throw As I Lay Dying at my English Professor. In fact I would also like to see it drown and set fire to it! Words cannot express how much I hate this book- which is probably appropriate since it’s partly about how words can’t express things. Why did Faulkner write a book if he hated words so much? Why didn’t he just paint a picture? Or bake a cake? Anything other than write this stupid pretentious drivel.
A Least Favorite Book:
Situation: apparently global warming = suddenly frozen wasteland. Your only hope of survival for warmth is to burn a book. Which book will you not regret lighting?
Fifty Shades of Grey- is any explanation really needed?