Alrighty I know I said I was gonna post up my Q&A next, but I haven’t had the time to compile it yet. Feel free to leave more questions- I’m leaving it open for a little longer 🙂 In the meantime, I thought I’d share some thoughts I had a while ago about people not liking the same books as you, cos I was inspired by a comment from The Reading Rebel on my Emma post.
So what’s with the title I hear you ask? Well that’s basically my mantra when it comes to people’s opinions if they disagree with me about books I loved/hated. Honestly, I don’t see why it should affect me. I’m confident enough in my own opinions to defend them. Even if that book is trash- I can still determine what I liked about it. Very often, I give a higher rating to a book if it made me cry. Does that mean it was a great work of fiction? Nope. (I mean, this is coming from the girl who cried over the Sainsbury’s Christmas ad last year- it’s not *that* hard to make me cry). So if I like a trashy book, then so be it. Heck- I could like the next Fifty Shades of Grey– and it wouldn’t matter to me if I was the only person on the planet that did (although that’s somewhat unlikely, but you get the idea).
It’s not an affront to me personally if you hate something I loved. And why should it be? We’re all entitled to our opinions and someone disliking something I like isn’t going to take away my enjoyment. (Unless of course you’re standing directly behind me shouting those opinions- cos that would just be annoying).
Now obviously, this would be an entirely different story if I did write it. Because most of the time, the only feedback most authors want is “OMG I want to marry your book and have its babies!” Which I can totally understand (while obviously not condoning authors that throw a hissy fit when someone doesn’t like their work- I can see why a lot of authors completely ignore all book reviews of their work). What I don’t understand is people that take it as a personal affront when someone criticises or even insults a book or author they admire. It’s a ridiculous stance to take because these things are *not an extension of you*. It really doesn’t matter if everyone likes it or if you’re the only one that does.
Just stand by your opinion. Because for all you know, one day they could be the next Van Gogh. I mean, people didn’t like John Donne for centuries- does that mean he suddenly went from bad to good? For crying out loud, even Shakespeare’s popularity has gone through phases! So stick to your guns- it doesn’t matter who agrees with you and who doesn’t.
And in the words of Jerry Seinfeld if someone says they don’t like a book you like, just say:
Now- after all that- this is the best time to make your voice heard. Agree or, heaven forbid, disagree? Let me know in the comments below!
Agree, agree, agree! If you have something to say that will help me expand my view or contextualize how I feel about said book/author/whatever, then I always welcome the commentary. But to take offense if I dislike something you love but had absolutely no hand in creating (or vice versa) is silly.
Also, if I said I passionately disliked the first book in a series, please don’t tell me I don’t have the right to dislike it until I’ve read the whole set. This is not how life works, sorry.
As for authors pitching hissy fits– I only had one, and I ignored her completely. I understood what she was saying, but the way she said it made me quickly archive her email. Protip: acting nasty will never persuade me to come to your side of things.
Sorry. My rant is done.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Definitely!!
I agree with you so much about that!!! I don’t see why you would try to encourage someone to read further in a series they obviously don’t like- if they liked it or were on the fence, then it makes sense to encourage someone to read further. Otherwise, what’s the point?
hahaha and I totally agree- I happen to respect authors that choose to ignore all reviews, but I really don’t like the ones that get into all the running commentary said about them. I get why it’s bad if someone actively tries to contact them or tweets them that they hated their work- but retaliating will never help. And if you go looking for trouble you are sure to find it! It is *never* ok to hassle a reviewer!! Reviewers are the ones that promote and sell your work- often for free. And it’s definitely true that all publicity is good- cos if someone slates a book, it still brings it to people’s attention and gets them curious- like how I heard terrible things about Fifty Shades of Grey and got curious enough to read it (which I totally regretted but whatever). And, on top of that, you don’t know when or if a reviewer might change their mind- I’ve definitely had authors where I’ve loved some of their work and hated others. So it doesn’t make sense for authors to start getting angry at someone who doesn’t like their work- they might change their mind in the future.
haha and now my rants done.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hear hear 👏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aww thank you!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Honestly, I don’t see why it should affect me. I’m confident enough in my own opinions to defend them. ”
That is literally exactly how I feel! I could not have said it any better. Kudos to you for having the ability to be your own person!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Aww thanks so much!! haha I do try!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is great and I agree! Of course it’s always exciting when you have a discussion with someone about a book you both love. I personally enjoy hearing other reader’s views on books, especially if they’re slightly different from the trend. Having different opinions can still make for a great conversation too though. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Exactly!! It’s always fun to broaden out the conversation and I always relish when people flagrantly disagree with me- cos it’s a fun to debate and it’s interesting to see why someone disagrees 🙂 I love to see other perspectives and different opinions too- especially before I go into a book. I think that the best books divide opinion- if everyone loves a book it’s far more suspicious to me :p
LikeLiked by 1 person
How dare you disagree with my opinion of books and authors. I am the only one who can really judge a books merit!!
Just kidding. I freely accept that everyone has different likes or dislikes. It would be a boring world if we all liked the same thing. What annoys me more is when people judge readers based on the books they like.
I was recently offended by someone making a comment during an online book group discussion that they couldn’t understand what type of person would want to read this trash let alone enjoy it (I loved it). I know it shouldn’t affect me but it did make me a little self conscious about posting my views.
LikeLiked by 3 people
hahahahaha
I totally get why people would be nervous about stating their opinion- I just hope more people can get the confidence to say what they think anyway!
It really would!! Taste is hugely influenced by people’s different life experiences- so I often find it’s an interesting way to see how people differ and how they relate to different things. A lot of the time, people can have a negative opinion about a book because it’s something they’ve never experienced before or it’s not something they can relate to- so how can anyone else insist that they like it if they just can’t connect to it?
I definitely agree with you- I think people that judge other readers are the worst- and they’re predominately the reason so many people are afraid to just state their opinions. Far too many people just shout people down- which is why I see so many disclaimers on book reviews before someone says they disliked a book
I get what you mean- it’s very offputting. Especially if someone makes it personal
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yeah it’s more the what kind of person would like this that gets to me. I’ll fight my corner on a book but it’s more difficult to counter the type of comment that makes you wonder if there’s something wrong with you.
The other thing that slightly bugs me is if people are just constantly negative about a book and keep saying how much they hate it without actually saying what they didn’t like. I can understand why some authors would get frustrated.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah I get that. Personally I’ve had *a lot* of experience of trolls on the internet so I can take the personal attacks quite well now- but I didn’t used to, so I totally get it. It’s not cool to make it personal.
Yeah- that’s really annoying- and I don’t like that in any review- good or bad- everyone should always give reasons for their opinions!! Even if the reason is “I was having a bad day and just wasn’t feeling it”- there has to be some reason why!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s about time someone wrote this, I’m so sick and tired of seeing people apologize for not liking a book or author. Its so ridiculous how people get offended by you saying that you dislike a book/series/author/fandom etc.. Great discussion post!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!!! Exactly- I read so many posts where the person feels like they have to put in a thousand disclaimers before they can just say they didn’t like a book
I mean, I get it- they don’t want legions of fans condemning them for their taste, but it gets to the point where it’s just ridiculous! Thank you so much!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I know right, it’s so annoying. Especially on booktube when they do an unhaul or The Unpopular Opinions tag. It’s like, who cares? I don’t care if someone else didn’t like my favorite book. People need to learn how to respect other people’s opinions and how to stand by their own thoughts view points. Thanks for writing this enlightening article ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah exactly- I mean why should you apologize for that? Yeah definitely- it’s not something that affects anyone else if you have a different opinion- so why get angsty over it? Aww you’re welcome and thank you so much for your comment! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
100% agree! I am not sure why people take it personally if you dislike a book they adore, and by the same token, I don’t understand why others feel the need to insult those with a different opinion! I actually unfollowed an author on twitter because she only wanted to hear from those who love her books, and was quite sharp about anyone who didn’t. And hey, I understand – you put a ton of work into something, and to read a criticism could be difficult, but we don’t all the love the same work, and as long as it isn’t a personal attack, criticize! New opinions should always be welcome! Fantastic idea for a post.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Exactly!!! Personally, I get why authors don’t want to hear the criticism- but that’s why they should ignore all reviews- the good and the bad- neither of them will do any good. There are better ways of getting constructive criticism (ie from beta readers and editors before you publish your books) It’s not worth reading it afterwards. And it’s never okay to go after people that don’t like your work. Even if someone tells you to your face. Retaliation is never the answer!
Obviously people are entitled to their opinions and as an author you have to accept that not everyone will like your work. In my opinion, the best books divide opinion- and so they should! – because that means people felt strongly about them. I think it’s far more suspect when a book is too highly rated- cos then there’s a good chance it’s overhyped.
Thank you so much!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
If someone hated a book I loved, I would never be so petty as to start an argument. I may be a little annoyed, but I would discuss it civilly because I understand that people are different and have different tastes. Like, that is so easy for me to understand so it baffles me that other people don’t!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah exactly- I never understand why people feel compelled to say “NO YOU’RE WRONG- YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO YOUR OWN OPINION- HOW CAN YOU HAVE DIFFERENT TASTE TO ME?!?” Yeah I really don’t get it- I’m all for debate- but telling someone else what to like is ridiculous!
LikeLike
Yeah girl, I’m with you on this. I find it annoying with booktubers have to start their review videos with something like “don’t hate me because my opinions aren’t the same as yours.” I think it’s good when someone has a different opinion about a particular work. It can provide a different perspective and probably teach you something new.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks!! I know- I 100% agree- different opinions are what make things interesting. I don’t see why we all have to like the same books- it’s like insisting everyone likes the same food- it’s just ridiculous! I love hearing other people’s perspectives, cos certain books can strike a chord with different people and it’s good to hear why 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes!! I agree!! I’ve thinking about this topic for a few days now, because I don’t like a book that EVERYONE and their sisters seem to love so much. But everyone is entitled to their own opinions, so I don’t feel bad about disliking the book 🙂
I was actually planning on writing a post on this topic. I hope you don’t mind if I link it to this post?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!!! Gosh I know the feeling- I’ve had this happen so many times- but I completely agree with you- everyone is entitled to like whatever they like. Everyone’s taste is different and it’s ludicrous to insist otherwise!
Not at all- I’d love to see your post 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
This post is fantastic, and I hope the entire book blogging community finds it. It’s a hugely important issue, and you covered it perfectly.
I had a moment of panic shortly after posting my first couple chapters of my Throne of Glass Read-Along on Tumblr, because Tumblr’s thick with passionate TOG fans and I’m kind of hating the book to death. Of course, I don’t expect to be flamed for my critiques on my blog, but Tumblr’s another beast entirely–and although I don’t care if strangers yell at me for my opinion, I’d rather not waste precious time reading those messages, you know? So I discussed it with my husband, and–against his advice–I put up a disclaimer on the Read-Along’s Tumblr main page, reassuring avid TOG fans that I fully support (a) their love of the series, and (b) the series itself. Reading your post might’ve just given me the courage to take that disclaimer down.
Something that does bother me, though, are reviewers who attack the author instead of the book. I’m perfectly happy with reviewers saying that (for example) a character is dumb for doing X, or that a plot contrivance is dumb because Y would never actually happen, but I’m 1000% not okay with a reviewer saying the author is dumb for making their character do X or their plot unfold in Y way. But even when a reviewer attacks the author, that’s no excuse to then attack the reviewer–just unfollow them and move along. =)
LikeLiked by 2 people
Aww thanks so much!!!
Ahh yes I know what you mean- I’ve had quite a few moments on my blog and in other places where I’ve worried about posting or saying something because it’s not fun being yelled at by loads of people for having a different opinion. (but you’re right tumblrs a bit of a different beast) But it’s good to just go for it- because it’s worth showing that there are other opinions out there! I’m not a huge fan of disclaimers in general (although I always put disclaimers on satirical posts, cos it’s in the satiric tradition), but I totally get why people put them there- it’s not cool that so many people shout people down for their opinions- I mean debates all well and good, but it’s totally pointless to tell people to like something they don’t like!
I get that- I have to admit I’m guilty of slipping up on that one, cos there’s a very thin line between saying “why did the author make them do xyz” and saying “why did the character do xyz”- especially since I don’t think it always makes sense to say “why did the character do that” when it’s maybe the author’s fault that they’re doing something out of character. There’s a difference between saying the author’s dumb for doing something and saying why did the author do something or saying they were wrong to do something (sorry, being super finickity here). But what I do have an issue with is when reviewers tweet or post attacks to personal accounts. And even tweeting the author their negative reviews. It’s no excuse for retaliation, but I do get when I hear stories of authors getting pissed about things like that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s awesome that you don’t let concern about getting yelled at stop you from saying what you want to say. You’re a great blogging-community role model. =)
Oh my god I could hug you. You’re not being finickity at all; you’re expecting authors to write their characters as people instead of hand-puppets, and you’re pointing out (without insulting the author!) when an author is writing badly by doing the hand-puppet thing. I’m pretty sure I spend (approximately) half my waking/blogging hours complaining about exactly that. And I definitely think it’s okay to say, “The author is turning these characters into hand-puppets, which is bad writing form,” because that’s a critique of their writing ability, not an insult.
But I’m preaching to the choir here, obviously. I’m just excited to talk to someone about one of my greatest pet peeves!
There are people who actually send authors their negative reviews and personal attacks? I mean, I’ve seen John Green receive some gross attacks on Tumblr, but I’m obviously only just coming out from under my rock, because I didn’t realize reviewers deliberately sending their attacks to the authors’ inboxes (Twitter feeds, etc.) was a common-ish phenomenon. That’s horrifying, and yeah, anyone on the receiving end of that has a valid reason to be upset.
It’d be great if everyone could just relax and get along. =/
LikeLiked by 1 person
aww thank you so much!!
Thank you! haha exactly! couldn’t have said it better myself- I adore that analogy!! yeah, that’s exactly what I meant- I think it’s ok to criticise the writing- but obviously not call the author names or be insulting.
haha no worries! I liked to hear it and, as I said, that “hand-puppets” description was perfect!!
Yeah there are- I’ve heard stories about people deliberately tweeting their bad reviews and negative comments at authors- which is pretty awful. The pretty notorious case of Kathleen Hale (the author that totally lost it and stalked a reviewer- which is obviously a very extreme example) started with the reviewer sending some negative tweets to the author. I’d like to think it’s not a common phenomenon though. And that’s horrible about the John Green comments- but it doesn’t surprise me when it comes to tumblr- I’m not a huge fan of that site. Yeah definitely- sadly it’s common practice in a lot of areas. I think I’ve heard vloggers complaining about people directly tweeting them too- it’s really not cool.
Haha hear hear!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This was such a great post, I’m so, so glad you wrote it. I really think that everyone is entitled to their opinions, even if, when you don’t like a hyped book or something, you might feel like the black sheep of the community, but well… I love talking about books with everyone, even and especially if their opinion don’t match mine, it makes a great conversation I think, and sometimes we can discover things about the book we didn’t think about first 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much!! Definitely!! More and more since I’ve been blogging I’ve seen people hate books that I love more and more- and I never get annoyed about it- so I understand less and less why people get angry about other people not liking the same books as them. Definitely- it’s good to hear another perspective about something you might have missed in a book or another perspective about a book you might never have thought of! 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
This! This! This!
Freedom people! We are allowed to have different opinions and you should never take it personally. Our reactions to a story echo with who we are, our experiences and tastes, which means we can’t agree on everything. That doesn’t mean my opinion means more than others, it only means I read and reacted to a story in some way and we should all chill out and enjoy life and have baby Teletubbies.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks!! Exactly!!! There’s no reason to get annoyed when people have different tastes!! hahahahaha love that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
100% agree!! Part of the beauty of reading (and indeed of humanity in general) is that everyone has different tastes and interests, and what one person loves another might not. Even when it comes to books I’ve hated, I acknowledge that there are people out there who enjoyed them and they have every right to their opinion – yes, I might still think a book is rubbish and criticise it as such, but I’d never personally attack someone for liking it. And vice versa, if I loved a book I won’t personally attack someone else for hating it.
What I particularly hate is when people get snobbish and decide their opinion of what constitutes a “good book” is suddenly gospel, and anything else is poor quality reading only fit for the unenlightened… and anyone who disagrees with them must be stupid or ignorant. It’s that kind of behaviour that can turn people off reading all together, which would be the greater tragedy. As a friend of mine once put it very aptly: “read and let read”!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks!! Exactly- taste in books can often come down to different experiences, so of course people like different things! yes definitely- I think it’s utterly ridiculous to attack someone for liking something- I mean- c’mon, why does it matter if someone likes a book that you didn’t? Or vice versa.
Yeah definitely- too many people are like that. I can see why people will say X is a good book, Y is a bad book- but these are always just opinions and if someone doesn’t agree then that’s fine. I’m all for debate, but at the end of the day it really doesn’t matter what other people read as long as they’re happy reading it!! haha that is the best thing I’ve heard all day! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agree. People are different and therefore have different likes and dislikes. I have no problem with people disagreeing with me. What I do have a problem with is aggressive responses and personal insults.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly!! I have a problem with that too- it’s not right- but if someone does do that then there’s something wrong with them and not with you. And if they do that then they have very poor debating skills.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed. They seem to think that attack is the best form of defence and yet a difference of opinion is not an attack.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah definitely!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Totally, completely, agree! Heck, I’m not even that bothered if someone didn’t like something I wrote. If they read the whole thing anyway they must have liked something about it. There are too many people in this world to be upset when a couple of them don’t like what you’re doing.
Also, did you say there’s room for more questions? …. The answer to every big question (for example, ‘What is life’s purpose?’) is ‘violet cheese’. But why?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! Wow that’s very impressive!!! Good for you!! I can’t say I have the same reaction- but that’s the absolute best attitude to have!!
hahahaa that’s wonderful- thanks so much for that- looking forward to answering that :p
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s the theory of it, anyway. We’ll see what happens when the book is actually published ^^ But it’s not a bad mindset to go into it with at least 🙂 I will be hurt at negative reviews, of course, but I think if someone spends money on something they’ve a right not to like it.
I’m looking forward to seeing your answer to that one 😛
LikeLiked by 1 person
Definitely!! It’s a brilliant way to be 🙂 Of course, I completely agree with that 🙂
Thanks!! You can check it out on my Q&A post here: https://theorangutanlibrarian.wordpress.com/2016/04/09/qa-everything-you-could-possibly-want-to-know-and-some-things-you-didnt/
I hope you like it 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I started reading through it earlier but I greatly misjudged how many questioned you had! I’ll have to return to it tomorrow 🙂 I don’t want to be nitpicky, but you spelled my name wrong 😉 It’s not Sara, it’s Sarina 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
hahaa yeah it was ridiculously long! I’m so sorry, my mistake- I’ve changed it now! That’s a lovely name by the way 🙂
LikeLike
I completely get what you mean. But I think we can get so attached to stories and identify with the characters and fall in love while reading that it comes as an insult when somebody doesn’t share our enthusiasm. Of course you’re right, it’s absolutely pointless.. but I mean I also get super excited when somebody loves the same books as me 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!! I do get why people are attached to books- of course I do, I’m a massive book worm! And I *love” hearing other people like the same books as me. That being said, it doesn’t affect my enjoyment of a book to have someone else dislike it. And I can still have a good discussion with someone about a book I liked that they didn’t- they might have a fresh perspective to offer for example. The fact is, it’s not an insult when someone doesn’t like something. The only time it is an insult is when someone says “I don’t get why anyone would like this” or “anyone that likes this is stupid”- but even then, it’s not worth worrying about it, cos it’s just semantics.
LikeLike