The Worst YA Novel Plan – Ever! PART 3

And now for the grand finale… In case you didn’t catch the first and second parts, you can check them out here and here. But I don’t want to keep anyone in huge suspense- cos I’m sure you’re all on the edge of your seats after the very uneventful events of book 2 :p

Book 3: The One Where Everything Is Conveniently Resolved

No one will talk to Sally after the events of the last book. And she doesn’t understand why Bad Boy Bob didn’t kill her- he’s supposed to be evil- but she won’t think about that again for at least another hundred pages- just put that in now because *foreshadowing*.

Worst of all, Harry the Hottie broke up with her- which is so unfair. And totally unjustified. I mean, she only cheated on him and betrayed him. But that’s nothing, because he didn’t pay enough attention to her. It was totally his fault that the world nearly ended. She will get mad at him instead.

That totally works- because whinging and whining always works in real life. Once she bends his ear back to make him see reason, they get back together and everything’s hunky dory again. Until…

world ending

Ahhh the sun is crashing into the earth again!! Oh no- that means I. M. Evil’s been up to no good again, everyone else forgives her too because they *need* her help. So now everyone comes grovelling to her so that they can have a war.

soldiers fighting

*Jam in more action than the last two books combined*

Oh and as they’re going off to war, “Bad Boy” Bob reveals he was on her side *the whole time*, even the times when he wasn’t, cos you know, he loves her and stuff- so that’s a relief, she can go back to liking him. Oh no wait- that’s not so good- because now she doesn’t know which one to choose AGAIN!!

In the meantime, I. M. Evil has the idea that instead of doing evil-bad-guy stuff, he will toy with the main character- just for kicks. This means capturing, torturing and releasing various characters to annoy the sh*t out of Sally. It’s like an attention seeking thing- and it will totally make sense when he reveals his big master plan. Which he does, immediately after telling everyone why he’s such a great big meanie. He has daddy issues or something. So now Sally totally relates to him- but that won’t stop her kicking his butt in the last act!

sad loki.gif

Because Sally was totally just using delay tactics to get this out of him. Now she can defeat him with her special snowflake superpower (you know, the one that was always designed to be the perfect contrast to his power). Yay, that’s convenient.

Just as they achieve this victory, Harry the Hottie conveniently dies. Also he gives Sally and Bob his blessing with his last breath.

harry death

All the mean people in the books decide to do whatever Sally suggests now she’s saved the world and they set up a nice, democratic government that will be free from corruption for all eternity. And all the minor characters pair off. Bad Boy Bob and Sally share a long awaited kiss. Aww.

kiss-emma-killian-breathe-out.gif

The End

So are you satisfied with the conclusion? Did Sally McEveryman end up with who you wanted? Was I. M. Evil sufficiently ghastly? Think this would make the worst YA novel ever? Let me know!

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41 thoughts on “The Worst YA Novel Plan – Ever! PART 3

  1. Got My Book says:

    I think to make it truly the worst, you would have to figure out some way that she could get both guys. Maybe she will be with Bob now, but plan to get back together with Harry once she gets to heaven.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Tanya Cliff says:

    Now she can defeat him with her special snowflake superpower (you know, the one that was always designed to be the perfect contrast to his power). Yay, that’s convenient.

    Funny! I’m still thinking YA satirical novel here…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. - says:

    hahahha yesss.
    But as I am always an addicted YA novel reader who is never really satisfied and wants to go against canon, like the rebel I am, I was totally vouching for Evil. So I am sadddd 😦 and I will write many fanfic about it, and ship my OTP to eternity on Tumblr.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jen Connelly says:

    Ha, I was on Team Bob the entire time.

    I laughed so hard through this whole thing. I loved this part:

    “Just as they achieve this victory, Harry the Hottie conveniently dies. Also he gives Sally and Bob his blessing with his last breath.”

    At least Harry had the decency to die to save Sally from having to make any kind of decision on anything. Go Team Bob!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Donna says:

    I knew it. You killed me.
    I WOULD NOT HESITATE AND BUY THAT BOOK RIGHT NOW. *looks at her YA books* Oh, wait, I already have plenty of those books, hahahahahaha.
    Your crazy brain is awesome.

    Liked by 1 person

    • theorangutanlibrarian says:

      hahahaha ahh well, not everyone’s ship can fly (is that the right expression? sounds a bit like I’m talking about Peter Pan :p ) Some other people have said they had some fanfic ideas for how Sally and Harry would end up together in the afterlife- you could always daydream about that, even if it’s not canon 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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