A Less Than Thrilling Book Blurb

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In my effort to read more widely this year, I’ve started picking up a genre I rarely ventured into in the past: I have entered the rather dark and deadly world of thrillers. And while I have found some of these very entertaining, I find I am often rather put off by the blurbs. So I decided to put together an example made up of all the composite elements that I see so often on the shelves. Enjoy!

*Dramatic voice*

Jane Doe hasn’t been the same since the death of her BELOVED (but ultimately irrelevant) RELATIVE. Even though she has the perfect life, perfect husband, perfect home- her life is far from uncomplicated.

Something isn’t right. Everything around her is SUSPICIOUS- phone calls in the middle of the night, weird glances from her husband and even people following her that disappear whenever she looks round! Then, just when she thinks she might be going crazy, she sees something shocking that will change her life forever. *dun dun dun*

Now she has so many questions- like will she ever find out the truth? Or won’t she? Is she losing her mind? And most importantly, in the grand scheme of things, does it even matter?

GIRL- GOING SOMEWHERE…. is just like Gone Girl… sort of… I hope… (Whatever- it has “girl” in the title- so that means women have to like it- and so do men- otherwise you’re all sexist!!)

Still you should read it cos some girly magazine said it’s “SPECTACULAR” (well, “spectacularly bad”, but that’s almost the same) and BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!

*Disclaimer: you may, or may not, see the twist coming*

Okay- that was a little weird- hope you enjoyed that. Let me know if you’ll be reading Girl Going Somewhere… when it hits the shops- in, well, never! And see if you can guess the *crazy* twist!

 

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26 thoughts on “A Less Than Thrilling Book Blurb

  1. Zezee says:

    LOL!!!
    “Whatever- it has “girl” in the title- so that means women have to like it- and so do men- otherwise you’re all sexist!!” HAHAHAA!! Good one!
    The twist? Hmm… I bet it’s Jane that’s doing all the weird stuff, isn’t it? But don’t tell me! I’ll find out. Lol!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. ljtreads says:

    It was all a dream?

    I don’t read so many thrillers that the blurbs run together for me, but I can definitely see it in the genres I do read. I’ve gotten to the point that any mention of a “mysterious boy that keeps hanging around” on a YA fantasy cover has me shoving the book back onto the shelf.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jack Dowd says:

    I enjoyed Gone Girl but the blurb of most thrillers are almost identical. It’s just a genetic template. Sadly the author doesn’t have any say in the blurb or any say in the cover of the book. I can’t remember which book it was but there was a novel that featured a girl in a red dress dancing in the snow which looked lovely… but nothing like that happened in the book!

    Liked by 1 person

    • theorangutanlibrarian says:

      Yeah I did too- but I agree they kind of all blur into one! Yeah that’s true. I’ve seen so many things like that- most notable was a book called Wings, which was supposed to be about faeries- but ended up being about plant people- talk about misleading! (okay- technically it was about faerie plant people- but obviously that was an extremely dumb book!)

      Like

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