Romance Fails in Fiction Tag

A plague o’ both your houses! Or you know, just a common cold… I’m getting a bit bored of saying “guys I’m ill again”, but yeah, I’m ill again (also bored of being “ill again” only my immune system doesn’t seem to care). So that was my really long winded way of saying sorry for being so sporadic on the blog this week!

Anyway, I couldn’t sleep last night (obviously that does wonders for my health) and I got to writing this tag post- so even though I have a gazillion people to reply to and should probably just rest a bit I’M POSTING IT BECAUSE I AM ADDICTED AND HAVE PROBLEMS GUYS. *Ahem* anywayyy thank you so much to the lovely Little Book Nook for tagging me for this one- I clearly couldn’t resist after reading your awesome answers 😉 And what better way to round off a week of lovey-dovey posts…

THE RULES

• Please PINGBACK to Kate @ Melting Pots and Other Calamities.
• You can choose ten romance fails from ANY media you like: books, movies, anime, manga, T.V shows, or Webtoons. You can even mix them up if you want.
• You can choose funny fails or serious ones; for the serious ones, phrase it humorously. Remember, this is a fun tag! It’s not meant to be serious.
• Mention who’s who in the fails. (I.E, who fails and who is the recipient of the failure). If there isn’t  recipient, per se, just state the couple (or non-couple).
• Optional: Rank the failures from least extreme to most extreme.
• 5 failures at LEAST.
• Tag as many people as you want, but at least one person.

What I love about this one is that you can mix it up with all different media- and I’m gonna do just that… (also gonna try and keep to the rule of making them progressively worse).

Jon/Dany (Game of Thrones)– you guys know of my undying love for this series, but it’s the kind of series that sinks ships faster than that iceberg sunk the Titanic. I could fill a book with all the FAILS of relationships here- in fact GRRM has managed five (and a half) yet *spoilers if you haven’t seen season 7* this is right up there (just behind Cersei and Jaime). The reason this goes on my list ahead of other dysfunctional couples is because guys I was one of the schmocks that wanted this to happen and I’m so so sorry!! When it actually did happen my response was pretty much NOOOOO! Because, once my other theories got proved right, it became irrevocably EWW.

Dorian/Celaena (Throne of Glass)– okay so I didn’t actually ship this one, but I was more on board with it than Celaena/Chaol (pretty sure I’ve made my disdain for Chaol clear). To be honest, I don’t think they suit each other at all. It is interesting though that this one failed because of Maas’ original premise: “What if Cinderella was an assassin and went to the ball not to dance with the prince, but to kill him?”

Raskolnikov/Sonya (Crime and Punishment)– *spoilers* cos he’s a murderer, really obnoxious and treats her poorly if my memory serves. And she’s so messed up that she takes it. And then follows him off to Siberia- righhhht.

Rachel/Joey (Friends)– Little Book Nook had this one too- and I must concur! Worst. TV. Pairing. Ever. And so unnecessary. Just why did this even happen again?

Sirius/Anyone/Me (Harry Potter)– was I the only one fantasising that someone was going to come in on their white horse (/hypogriff, but that’s a bit “been there, done that”)  and give him the romance he deserved? (Spoilers: that’s not gonna happen) I know I’ve mentioned him a lot lately, but he was my favourite character.

Ally/Noah (The Notebook)– cos I not so secretly hate that film #sorrynotsorry. Actually a little sorry at all the rage that comment will inevitably attract- but hear me out. It’s not that it’s a terrible movie it’s just that I hate the love interests and everything they represent- aka you can be horrible, dysfunctional people to each other and screw over a perfectly decent third wheel, and everything works out just fine. Ugh. Cheating is not cool and movies like this just glorify it!! Speaking of cheating…

Tatiana/Alexander (The Bronze Horseman)– another controversial one, but I HATED THIS BOOK SO MUCH!!! I HATED the contrived Cinderella plot to gain false sympathy, I DESPISED the control-freak, pervy love interest, and I COULDN’T STAND the useless mc. Also why do they spend half the book arguing over whether they should be together WHILST CHEATING? And why is it treated like martyrdom when Tatiana carries on behind her sister’s back WHILST CHEATING? And then it came to the sex and just… ugh- nothing worse than sex scenes between two people you hate. Oh yeah, usual disclaimer about no such thing as spoiling shit books. Sorry if you were desperate to read this.

Christian/Ana (Fifty Shades of Grey)– because STALKING ≠ SEXY. Look I get it, I’m not judging people for reading erotica- but this shit is ABOMINABLE (and dudettes have you not heard of this wonderful thing called the INTERNET?! I’m not trying to corrupt young minds or anything, cos the people reading this were mostly mums, only inform you that there’s equally awfully written porn available FOR FREE… so yeah just try google next time, then we won’t have to hear about insufferable books like this polluting bestseller lists- thanks!)

Annnd I don’t think I can do anything worse than that so I’ll stop there.

I tag: Melanie, Kat, Michel, Zezee, Dani, Samantha, Lucinda and Jessica

So what romances in fiction do you consider the biggest fail? And dare I ask- what do you think of my picks here? Let me know in the comments!