The Scary State of My TBR

There’s something terrifying about coming back to blogging after months away. Part of it can just be getting back into the swing of posting regularly; part of it- as much as I like doing it- is feeling the pressure of being present in the blogging community. But there’s one unfortunate and unexpected aspect that I never thought would be an issue- and that’s getting back into reading.

As many of you know, I had a tough time getting in reading while I was away. This led to a *ridiculously* long slump I hadn’t seen coming. Which of course meant that when I took a peek at the books I had to/even just wanted to read, I was almost scared off. Because have you ever looked at your tbr after a slump? It’s a thing of nightmares!

And time isn’t exactly my friend. The days aren’t getting any longer and, worst of all, I know full well I won’t be able to fill them with nothing but reading- which doesn’t make me any less intimidated when I look at all the prospective books I have to read…

But of course that’s just it- I don’t actually have to read ALL the books in the world (I know, groundbreaking 😉 yet for a bookworm… it kinda is). Gone are the days when I can cram in a book every two days, gone are the squeeze-in-pages every time I take a break, gone are evenings when all I’ll want to do for fun is read- well at least for now 😉 Point is, it’s not possible for reading to be my entire life- and that’s not going to kill me.

This goes for everything, really. As difficult as it can be to find that frantic pace again, everything has to be done one step at a time. Besides, isn’t it more fun to luxuriate in that feeling of falling back in love with your hobbies? At least that’s what I tell myself.

What can do your head in is thinking that it you have to get a move on. Don’t get me wrong- we all do these things because we love them. We’re not motivated by anything but the pure joy we get out of sharing our love of books, delving into a story until we lose our footing in the real world, finding new friends to share those new universes with… BUT that doesn’t literally mean it has to be your *everything*.

It doesn’t hurt to take a fresh look at how things were before and try and avoid making the same missteps in the future. I feel much more refreshed after a few months abroad and considerably less guilty for all the times I can’t be online/reading/doing something productive. And that is the most important thing of all. I’ve learnt from being away that you can’t be around all the time- it’s simply not possible! And beating yourself up over it doesn’t actually do you any good. So, as cheesy as what I’m about to say is, I’ve learnt an important lesson: sometimes we need to be kinder to ourselves.

Hope my musings help anyone else feeling the pressure.

Let me know in the comments what you think!