Lately, I’ve been thinking not just about the books I want to read in lockdown, but who I might want to spend it with… and who I wouldn’t! When it came to the latter, I thought not just about villains, but the kind of characters who would get on my last nerve. Enjoy!
Best case scenario…
Matilda– I mean, she’d be a really quiet house guest who just wanted to read. Bonus points for the fact she can fly me over some snacks with her mind!
Bilbo Baggins– cos he’s nice and chill and could provide plenty of food from his pantry.
Zuzana– she’d make the best friend! Also, we can share our love of cakes. Speaking of…
Lara Jean Covey– not only is she phenomenally sweet, she’s also an amazing baker and seems to have an endless supply of crafts. Oh, and she likes old romance movies. Basically, she’s the best person to be stuck indoors with!
Greebo– yes, he can be grumpy, but at least he doesn’t talk!
Nighteyes– are you sensing a theme? Just not sure I want to be around humans anymore!
Mrs Tiggy Winkle– yeah, she’s prickly, but at least she’ll do my laundry!
Cinderella– I’m not saying I’d make her do the cleaning… buuut maybe she could get some of those mice on board? Plus, she seems like a cheerful sort (though maybe she can tone down the singing a bit). On that note…
Mark Watney– he’s the kind of person who can perk you up, even in the most dire situations!
Magnus Bane– cos he’s fun and he has magic and I’m in dire need of some entertainment! I’d sell my soul for it in fact! (tbh I was going to pick Satan, but I thought he might fob me off with an apple 😉)
Worst case scenario…
The Grand Witch– she’d probably turn me into a mouse and get the other people to squash me.
Dolores Umbridge– Dolores company would be punishing at the best of times- but if we’re locked in a house together?! Oh hell no!
Ramsey Bolton– for obvious reasons. Actually, there’s a whole bunch of GOT characters that would fit on this list, but he’s the absolute worst.
Mrs Danvers– not the kind of person I’d want to be cooped up with at the best of times- but under government-imposed quarantine?! I can practically hear her “go on, go outside and contract Covid-19, I know you want to…”
Mr Rochester– I don’t fancy spending quarantine in an attic!
Celaena Sardothien– don’t get me wrong, I’m not in the anti-Celaena camp and found her entertaining in the books. BUT she’d get on my last nerve in lockdown! Just put away your weapons, stop showing off and sit your ass down!
America Singer– she was basically already in isolation in Selection and we know how she acted: “ohhh who do I pick” *whine whine whine*
Edward Cullen/Jacob Black/Bella Swan– all of them together, specifically.
Alec D’Urberville– just about the biggest perv on the planet. And on that subject…
Beatrice Lacey– she’d probably get a ridiculous attachment to my house and try to kill me so she can take it off me (jokes on her, cos I’m renting!)
Okay this house is getting realllly crowded! I’d better stop! Do you agree or disagree with any of my picks? Who would you like to spend isolation with? Who would you hate?? Let me know in the comments!