How To Write Without Actually Writing Anything Ie Tips On How To Procrastinate

Because I am the expert and I am sharing my hard-earned wisdom 😉 You’re welcome!

#1 Daydream!!! This is a great one, because you can literally spend hours doing this without achieving anything (and yet you will feel creative and emotionally fulfilled… in your head at least. Don’t skip this step- it is essential so that you can hit your procrastination goals!!

#2 ALL THE RESEARCH- especially if it is irrelevant to the book at hand. For instance, are you writing a thriller set in Wales- then it’s the perfect time to look up the weather in Zimbabwe! Or are you writing a historical novel about Maoist China- time to look up the most popular cheeses in the world! Because why not? There is a subreddit for everything and someone has got to read them- it could be you!!

#3 Listen to inspirational music. This will put you in the mood of writing… even if you don’t actually pick up a pen. At least you got in the right mood!

#4 Watch ALL the Youtube advice videos- particularly samey ones on the same topic. I know I love hearing the same advice over and over (and never following it). I also find they can be really helpful at psyching yourself out of even trying.

#5 Put on the TV to drown out your thoughts (and impending existential crisis).

#6 Call all your family and friends and acquaintances to tell them you have a great new idea for a book- because nothing kills time better than talking about something rather than doing it.

#7 Find all your old stories and stare at them until they dance off the page (no, you’re not going crazy, you are coming up with ways to make them better- I promise… though maybe you should see someone at this point).

#8 Make notes on all the things you need to be doing- you can even write this in your planner if you’re feeling extra conscientiously unconscientious. Don’t worry if this feels dangerously close to doing some work- you will methodically ignore this plan day by day- just make sure you put your plan somewhere prominent so that it can haunt you for all eternity.

#9 Write pointless blog posts (masquerading as humour) that give bad advice no one really needs… like this one!

And that’s all I have for today! It’s surprisingly easy to procrastinate and get nothing done- you can do it too if you put your mind to it! And if you’d like to share more stellar advice on how to make no progress, feel free to leave it in the comments! We could all use the help!

29 thoughts on “How To Write Without Actually Writing Anything Ie Tips On How To Procrastinate

  1. this is all AMAZING advice, and it’s perfectly timed that i’m getting it right in the middle of nanowrimo!!
    i especially love the daydreaming one; i do that for HOURS 😭😭

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What I find interesting in this list is I think many people do one or a couple of these activities (e.g. in my case, 1-5, 7-9) subconsciously but seeing them in this list gives us that catharsis moment lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, how wonderful! This post actually made me feel like I’ve been doing something all week 😂
    I heavily relate to making to do lists and “methodically ignoring” them 😂
    Lovely post!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This convicted me that it’s time to rearrange my entire bookshelf again. After all, if books are involved, it counts as writing, right??

    Like

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