The Most Un-Romantic Books for Valentine’s Day

Alright- I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade- but I am basically the equivalent of a Valentine’s Day Scrooge. Anyone that knows me is probably well aware that I am a massive sap and a huge romantic- which is probably why it might come as a surprise that I am not a fan of Valentine’s Day. Call me crazy, but a day of tacky cards and forced romance has never struck me as particularly romantic. And that is why I have devised this list!

Shout out to The Laurenest whose post earlier in the week heavily inspired me to make this post. Without further ado, here are 10 completely unromantic books to read on Valentine’s Day.

  1. 1984

1984 bookThis is undoubtedly one of my favourite dystopias ever written. Conveniently for this list, it’s also pretty unromantic.

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  1. The Handmaid’s Tale

handmaid's taleNothing says *UNROMANTIC* like women being used as sex-slaves in a dystopian future. I’m not even a fan of this book- but I have to say, if romance is the last thing on your mind, then this is the book for you!

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  1. The Yellow Wallpaper

yellow wallpaperThis is a more proto-feminist piece than the last one. But I recommend it if you’re not feeling the romance this Valentine’s Day because there’s nothing romantic about insanity. (Although I also recommend it every other day of the year!)

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  1. The Bell Jar

the bell jarSpeaking of insanity- how could I not recommend this book? I mean some of you might get turned on by electric shock treatment for depression (who am I to judge?) but for the most part, I’d assume this will put you off romance for a while.

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  1. Turn of the Screw

turn of the screw 2Here’s another creepy one. Like The Yellow Wallpaper and The Bell Jar, it’s certainly got elements of madness. But, depending on your interpretation of it, there are also ghosts and mysteries in this one. Also, if you’re feeling in a more intellectual mood, then this is the book for you.

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  1. Jude the Obscure

judeThis book is technically a romance- but let’s face it, it’s also the most depressing book ever written. And if you want to shout “Love is dead!” from the rooftops  then this book is the place to start. Or end.

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  1. Storm of Swords

storm-swords-george-martin-paperback-cover-artTo be honest, I could have picked any of the series for pure shock factor and because Martin can deliver a depressing blow to your favourite characters like no other author alive today. BUT obviously (for anyone that’s familiar with the series) this one has one of *THE* worst moments in the series, so I had to pick it. If you feel like being knocked for six, then this is the book to read on Valentine’s.

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  1. The Bloody Chamber

bloody chamberThese short stories are retellings of fairy tales that are often creepy, violent and disturbing. I really recommend these in general- but even more so for an anti-Valentine’s Day reading party!

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  1. The Wasp Factory

wasp factoryOkay, I’m gonna suggest something a bit different, cos I’ve never actually read this. Honestly, that’s because having read extracts and heard so much about it, the thought of it creeps me out- which is kind of why it *had* to be on this list. It is just so gross!!

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  1. Trainspotting

trainspottingHere’s another one I haven’t read. The reason for that is Irvine Welsh came to my Uni and read extracts from it and I realised it wasn’t for me at all. I was grossed out and horrified by it in equal measure. So yeah, I reckon this is the perfect book to read on an unromantic Valentine’s Day. I mean, nothing screams “I hate romance!” more than being horrified.

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Alright- that was fun! (at least for me!)

Anyone else have any Anti-Valentine’s Day recommendations?