The Bastardisation of Persuasion

What fresh hell have we entered? Persuasion is, as for many Austen fans, one of my favourite novels. Beautifully romantic and emotionally complex, it is an intensely personal story. And yet, it’s clear that whatever film the producers of 2022’s version wanted to make, it wasn’t an adaptation of Austen’s Persuasion. For many a mere glimpse of the trailer will convince you that this is an unmitigated disaster, but should you need further persuading, read on…

The most glaringly obvious example of how this blatantly disrespects Austen differs from the source material is in the characterisation of Anne. Now, let’s be clear, this boozy, boisterous, snarky woman *is not* Anne Eliot. To be clear, Anne Eliot was such a kind soul that she gives and gives without realising that she’s being taken advantage of. This “Anne” is nothing like that. Almost gleefully aware of how horrible her relatives are and simultaneously resentful of her lot in life, she literally can’t experience the growth of her bookish counterpart, because she knows from the beginning that she made a gigantic mistake and that her family are all pigs. All her lovability and goodness is stripped away so that she can seem more #relatable.

Of course, this change massively disrupts the tone of the whole story. Where the original is a delicate romance of lost love and personal growth, this has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Here, we get to have the lead constantly bitching to the camera about how much she’s being pushed around… which makes very little sense since they recharacterized her into someone who can so clearly stand up for herself. I honestly wondered why she was even in this position, since she clearly didn’t have a kind bone in her body, despite other characters helpfully telling us that she is. But why show when you can have characters monologuing what they think and feel? We may as well have Anne simply inform us that her sister is a narcissist. We may as well have the villain tell us his motivations. And we may as well have the juvenile humour of Anne saying “got much further to fall” followed by a literal fall. Fun. If your version of fun is circus-style antics where the leads wear jam for face paint. Which doesn’t exactly fit with the story. Still who cares, because clearly this is the only way to appeal to a modern audience, right?

Speaking of which, all the dialogue is modern and cringey as hell. I’m sure you’ve already heard that this bastardised version of Austen contains the line: “We’re worse than strangers. We’re exes.” A line “so good” that they decided to follow it up with “now we’re worse than exes. We’re friends.” I swear, it’s actually more gagworthy in the context of the film. Yet in case you’re still not convinced how utterly awful this writing is, allow me to give you a few other choice quotes:

“I am an empath.”

“He’s a ten. I never trust a ten.”

“Sucking my own face.”

All lines you can be sure were straight out of an Austen novel… if you’ve never actually read an Austen novel.

Which brings me onto yet another complaint. And that’s the way this treats the historical context. And I’m going to skirt right over the issue of rewriting the past into a magical anti-racist haven and point out some of the other more obvious problems. Like having Anne shouting “vivre la revolution!” and joking about Marie Antoinette getting her head cut off. I know someone somewhere thought this would be a clever and fun way to differentiate Anne from her snobby relatives… but did any of these people ever think to research the time period? Because no, even a rebellious lady (which incidentally Anne is decidedly not in the books) wouldn’t be cheering on the mass murder of their peers in a foreign country. And yet they were so vested in this idea that they decided to stick Anne in a beret- perhaps as some symbolic gesture of protest to the idea of making an adaptation in the first place. While the writers clearly think they are showing off a certain amount of progressiveness to praise the bloodbath of the French Revolution, it merely shows their extreme ignorance and disdain for history. As much as it might be fun to watch a hungover lady slurping tea… it’s actually no fun at all and isn’t at all the reason people watch period dramas in the first place.

And if you can so easily dismiss the importance of history, because all you care about is the romance, then allow me to inform you that this movie is utterly devoid of romance. There’s no real tension of will-they-won’t-they, since the leads so clearly still care for each other. Well, Anne cares for Frederick and Frederick is a damp cloth. I haven’t bothered to talk about his personality up until this point, because he doesn’t have one. But never fear coming out of this movie with no emotions whatsoever, because we are told what to think at the end of the movie with this gem of a quote:

“It’s okay to love on your own terms, however unorthodox. Don’t let anyone tell you how to live or who to love.”

So very Austen. We are expected to have simply take this modern interpretation, the bizarre breaking of the fourth wall and the desecration of the character… and just run with it I guess. All in the name of modernising a classic.

Well, have you suffered through this movie as well? Or are you doing the sensible thing and avoiding it like the plague? Let me know in the comments!

Little Women 2019 was a BIG DISAPPOINTMENT!

Well, Hollywood has done it again. They’ve ripped the heart and soul out of a classic story and called it an adaptation. Much like how Anne With an E, decided to go in the gritty and grim direction (and practically discarded the heartwarming story it was based on). This time though, it’s not so much darker (though there is a murky edge to the adult scenes) as it is all about “feminism”. And by that I mean, the angry, twisted, bitter kind with an undertone of man-hating. Great. Just what we needed.

Look, I get it. Little Women has so so many adaptations already that it’s hardly surprising the writers wanted to change things up and go in a different direction. Only, the logical thing to do in my book would be to *write a different story*. Not hijack something well loved and destroy it. But here we are- because Hollywood gotta make that coin and nothing sells like ruining everything we love.

What amazed me more than anything was how they desecrated the characters. They did them all dirty- but for some reason the worst changes were reserved for Marmee of all people. The loving matriarch is barely recognisable in this version- with a simmering resentment and rage under the surface… Because that’s what we needed?! I don’t understand what it is about “feminist” writers these days who seem to think anger is the solution to everything. Not grace or kindness or anything typically feminine. This is a Marmee stripped of love- who says to her wounded husband back from the war “now I can be angry at you in person”. This is a story that celebrates vice over virtue- the very antithesis of the original story. And characters like Marmee are just used as voice pieces for modern views.   

And then there’s what they did to Jo. Ironically, despite this supposedly focusing on more of the March sisters as a whole, this story is framed by Jo’s writing endeavours. For some reason, there was an ongoing focus on how it would be consistent for her not to fall in love and marry (something it’s not that hard to imagine for such a big-hearted character) but somehow not inconsistent for her to change her mind about Laurie?! Even though, it’s really clear from the story how different and ill-suited they actually are. And never mind that it ends up ruining Amy’s romance. And that it makes Jo seem petty for trying to take him back after rejecting him. And it throws a grenade into the heart of the sisterhood (which THIS MOVIE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HIGHLIGHTING MORE GAH!!) It’s a weird and unnecessary change that doesn’t work.

Add in the terrible deconstructed ending, where the kiss in the rain is purely imagination and you’ve got yourself a depressing version. Yes, shocker, we like happy endings here. It’s far better than whatever they were going for with this cold, bleak, sad conclusion that left me wanting. As beautiful as it is to see a book come together, I don’t love this story for its take on ambition. I love it for the joy and the wonder and the fact that reading about this family feels like a warm hug. Incidentally that’s why it works so well that the book starting with a small-scale scene of the little women playing. We feel like we’ve stepped into their world. This, with its choppy structure and disrespect to the original characters, is a miserable reimagining of something beautiful- and we don’t need it.

Rating: banana peel

So, have you seen this adaptation? What do you think of it? Let me know in the comments!

Taking a Whirl into the Wizarding World at the Warner Bros Studio Tour!

Hello all! As I mentioned recently, I went and had a magical time at the Warner Brother’s Studio Tour! And since I had a truly wicked time, I thought I’d invite you all to hear all about it. So grab your Hogwarts acceptance letters and let’s take a trip to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter!

But before we get started BE WARNED: there will be dragons!

Of course, I will be breaking the Statute of Secrecy, but to confundus you a little bit, I won’t be telling this in the exact order of the tour. Rather I’ll be going in narrative order… which is why we’ll be stopping off at Diagon Alley first! This enchanting street was more wondrous than I ever could have imagined!

Yet, in order to enjoy all the delights Diagon Alley has to offer, we may need to steal away to Gringotts Wizard Bank. Here, I had deep aparecium for the craftsmanship and vision of the set designs. It was truly awe inspiring.

Now we are well equipped, we’d better hurry to Platform 9 ¾ and climb aboard the Hogwarts Express…

… so that we can ascendio up to Hogwarts 😉

Jokes aside, I was truly stupefied by how *charming* everything was!

I was bombardo by beautiful details everywhere I turned…

And totalus impressed by all the props.  

I even got to try my hand at flying and playing quidditch 😉

Yet not everything was fun and games- because things took a dark turn once we headed inside the Forbidden Forest…

I mean just look at that face!! 😉 But the drama was far from over- and there were some big surprises in store (don’t watch the next clip if you don’t want to see spoilers!)  

Once all my mischief was managed, I took a well-earned break, having some butterbeer and fulfilling my lifelong dream of getting a Chocolate Frog (because of course I wanted a collectible card!!!) And, as if by magic, the card I got was the one I would’ve wanted most in the world… Roweena Ravenclaw!

And that was my journey into the world of Harry Potter. I hope you enjoyed reading all about it- I know I enjoyed writing this! It really reminded me how much I enjoy the story and sparked some nostalgia 😊 I can tell you this won’t be the last you’ll be hearing from me about the Boy Who Lived!

Game of Thrones Season 1 “You Win or You Die”

*Spoilers for season 1- I’ve tried not to spoil anything later on- but there will be massive HINTS*

 

Well hello! I know I’m posting later than I normally would, but I hope this is a pleasant surprise- because I’m launching another series today… I’ll be doing weekly reviews of seasons 1-5 of Game of Thrones! In case you didn’t know, I’m a massive fangirl for the show and books, and naturally did reviews of Seasons 6 and 7 on here. Bereft at the end of the seventh season, I decided to go back and rewatch from the beginning and a few weeks ago I made it upto season 5 (yup- I’ve already rewatched it– though someone will inevitably ask how I watched all of this in a week 😉 )

Anyhoo, this was a really fun trip down memory lane and it was great (and in parts traumatic) reliving it all whilst knowing what happens to all the characters. I was moved from the opening shots of Winterfell, I chuckled to myself at the opening title “Winter is coming” (yeah in 6 years), enjoyed the artistry of the show, got to see those sharp Littlefinger vs Varys go scenes again, was reminded of all the storytelling aspects and got to pick up on a few more Easter Eggs this time round.

Now obviously, I can’t touch on everything in the review, especially since I won’t be doing it episode by episode (given that I did that for the last two seasons, there was a lot I had to leave out). Plus, this isn’t my raw reactions, so while I’ve tried to keep my spoilers to a minimum, my opinions are clouded by later impressions. Formatting this was also pretty hard, so rather than go through this episode by episode, I decided to divide it up into more-or-less POV characters (pictures won’t be taken from just Season 1)

Daenerys Targaryen 

We can start with Dany, because she’s a little bit out of the way. I love how she’s brought into the fold of the story, just after Ned and Robert discuss the downfall of the Targaryen’s. It puts her on the edge of the narrative and yet still very relevant.

Of course, as the series progresses she becomes ever more important. No, becomes is the wrong word- she takes control of her own story. It is no inconsequential feat that she becomes the mother of dragons. From very unpromising beginnings in a forced marriage, she wrests control from her husband, develops relationships (especially with the very unsubtle Jorah) and begins to develop her own cult of personality. It is little wonder that she ultimately walks through fire and comes out the other side unburnt.

However, she’s not without faults. There are hints of her ruthless side– especially in how disturbingly cold she is when Viserys gets executed- though it does tell us something important: “He was no dragon, fire cannot kill a dragon.” And most importantly, we see her making mistakes early on, particularly trusting the witch woman (to paraphrase Jon in season7 why?!). But, we can never forget her rebirth at the end of the season and the subsequent return of the dragons! It’s no wonder everyone loves her!

Tyrion

Speaking of characters everyone loves and “speaking for the grotesques”, there can be no one better than Tyrion! With some of the best quotes in the entire show, like “A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone”, it’s no wonder he’s a fan favourite.

And early on, he is one of the few characters with the wit to save himself. Admittedly, he often uses old tricks like “I wish to confess my crimes”, but you can’t go wrong with the classics 😉

One great way to examine Tyrion is in relation to his family– especially in terms of how he’s pretty much the only one apart from Cersei who seems to get on with Jaime (who admittedly is a total prick in season 1, even to characters like Jon, for no apparent reason). Yet for me, one of the best ways to look at him is through the characters he clashes with- notably Cersei (incidentally I forgot how she was in early episodes too, with bizarre lessons to Joffrey saying things to the effect of you can have everything you want and you can’t… ugh, why does she even think she’s smart?). Still, I’d be remiss not to mention one of the best character bonding that I completely forgot about when we got to Season 7…

Jon Snow

And that’s Jon and Tyrion! OMG I loved their relationship, because Tyrion is the only one who is candid with him. That doesn’t mean treating him with kid gloves, but actually telling him the truth about the wall (WHAT THE HELL BENJEN AND NED?! I thought you were looking out for him!)

And crikey- the Wall is not what it’s cracked up to be. I mean there’s crude meritocracy, with Benjen saying: “A man gets what he earns, when he earns it.” Let’s be honest though, mostly it’s just cold as-eff and a great place to brew some enemy relationships (*cough* Allister Thorne *cough cough*). Also, he gets called a bastard a lot, which never ceases to make me fist-clenchingly mad!

Still, it’s not all bad- he gets to act like a hero defending Sam. Full disclosure: it took me a good while to warm to Sam in season 1– but his truly horrible backstory and Neville-like loyalty eventually wore away at my defences.

Plus on the positive side, he spends some of the series being groomed for leadership, gets to kill a Walker, earns himself Longclaw, hangs out with Ghost more than he ever gets to in later seasons and has a great FORESHADOWING scene with Aemon. So really, it’s not so bad, you can cheer up now Jon!

Catelyn Stark

Another positive for Jon is that he’s finally away from Cat. Heck- I’d go North of the Wall to get away from Catelyn Stark nee Tully. I cannot stand this character. Even her whining first line- “do you have to?” instantly made me yell at the screen “shut up Cat!”

So why do I hate her? Well, let’s start with the fact that she couldn’t be even halfway decent to a motherless boy- in fact she doesn’t even let him have a proper, peaceful farewell with Bran. It’s her unsavoury anger that drives him away in the first place. And that’s not the only problem her anger causes.

I mean WTF was she thinking kidnapping Tyrion!?!? That has to be one of the stupidest power plays in the history of mankind! It makes literally no sense- not only does she have poor evidence that Tyrion did anything, but it instantly puts Ned and her daughters in unnecessary danger. I mean, I know she warned them not to go to King’s Landing, but like I said, she’s a whiner (no one listens to whiners- the way she says things is so off-putting, I’d do the opposite of everything she says too). The whole way through the series my notes are full of “Cat does dumb Cat-like things”– even, with a nice hint of what’s to come, going to visit the Kingslayer *slow clap Cat, slow clap*.

So yeah, she spends a vast amount of time hating Lannisters… and yet for some *ridiculous* reason trusts Littlefinger?! The practically MOUSTACHE TWIRLING VILLAIN! Are you daft? I mean, when you have friends like Littlefinger, who needs enemies? Her character judgement is so wayyy off base!

Robb Stark

Phew- got that out of my system, mostly. Let’s talk about a character I actually like again: Robb Stark. Or “poor Robb” as I often think of him.

He’s definitely presented as a lord-in-training, quoting his father, gracious and with his fearsome direwolf Greywind. What I like even more is that through him you get to see some of the Northmen’s personality- such as Lord Umber getting two fingers ripped off and standing there laughing! And you get some nicer scenes like THE KING IN THE NORTH (which makes me all teary eyed).

BUT that’s not to say he doesn’t make mistakes. Straight off the bat, we have evidence for this when Theon calls him stupid- I mean, if Theon’s calling you stupid… welll I don’t know what you do with that- don’t ask Theon for advice kids!

His major mistake, however, is allowing his mother to negotiate with the Freys on his behalf– and it’s a mistake that has ripple effects across the seasons. Because, as I’ve made it clear, Cat is not the smartest person! And she enters into to one of the most disastrous negotiations. I’ve had many discussions over the years with friends about this, but I’m pretty sure this would have been a better way to go into the talks:

“Hey, we need to use your bridge.”

“Well, I quite fancy having your children marry mine…”

“Already betrothed, sozzles! (cos in this version Cat’s not a moron) About that bridge- you can let us through or we can take it with our shit ton of men… whaddya say?”

Could you have at least tried to have spoken from a position of strength Cat? I guess whining at someone is your default setting. Not to mention the fact that, as the show makes clear, Freys ≠ trustworthy. Even though Cat’s known them her whole life, she strikes the dumbest deal in the history of deals. Ugh.

Bran Stark

Speaking of people with rotten luck, let’s briefly touch on Bran. He’s not one of my favourite characters- however I do feel sorry for him. We get a lovely bit at the beginning of episode 1 with him scaling the walls… and then he has his big fall at the end of the episode- or rather gets pushed. Yeah- that scene will never cease to shock me. GRRM is the king at taking away what a character really cares about. And I completely get why he’s mad at Cat- leaving him to go on her stupid secret mission that goes disastrously wrong… (this is turning into the I-hate-Cat show).

Moving on, one of the best things we get for Bran, is mostly just the foreshadowing, which, let’s be honest, this show has plenty of…

Ned Stark

Starting with that dead stag and the dead direwolf (and the *hint hint* “no mountain lion”) they find in the woods. This scene, where the Starks get their direwolves, is one of my favourite and is so loaded with symbolism (Jon: I am not a Stark, Theon: it’s a freak!) that I could have put it under any character. But it is Ned who first recognises the Direwolf– the sigil of his house.

And this is an omen for the start of all his troubles. For it’s not long after that the Baratheon king comes to Winterfell (ah Robert, you crass lout!) and because Ned’s an honourable fool, he decides to accept the position as Hand of the King. Now, I don’t totally begrudge his decision (though my goodness, it was a BAD one) because a lot of this comes out of him trying to be a good friend to said terrible king.

However, as much as I don’t want to disrespect the dead (RIP Boromir… err I mean Ned), he was awful as a politician. If there was a mistake to be made or a trap to walk into, Ned did so like a lamb to the slaughter/fish out of water/wolf not in the north. Even while acknowledging that the crown is bankrupt and can’t afford to host a costly, dangerous tournament, he ends up just turning a blind eye to it- which is not good enough.

Then of course he does loads of other dumb things, like giving away his household guard, not leaving when he has the chance and confronting Cersei about her (incestuous!!!) extramarital affairs! The only reason I love his character is because he’s so noble while doing all these stupid things- plus he teaches us that vital lesson that in the Game of Thrones you win or you die.

And everything that happens to him is SO AWFUL– though in a very callous way, rewatching it after season 7, I can’t help but see how poetic it is for him to get stabbed from behind in his fight with Jaime (also, it’s funny that this time round, I don’t blame Jaime, since this is right after his idiot wife kidnapped Tyrion and Jaime’s lashing out for that)

Also, Ned serves as a brilliant and stoic patriarch– giving us that wonderful “lone wolf” speech that pays off all the way over in season 7. I absolutely adore that “War was easier than daughters” line too. Which brings me onto…

Sansa Stark

I will be frank, in this season, I found little to like about Sansa. She was a vain, pretty fool. I also will say I think a lot of my initial dislike for this character came from me transferring some of my hatred of Cat onto her- I saw her as Cat 2.0 and thought she was primed to make the same hot-tempered mistakes her mother did.

However, my initial analysis of her character was fairly wrong. Not that she doesn’t start out as air-headed- she most certainly does. She’s utterly ridiculous and forgiving of Joffrey- even though he quite literally swung a sword at his sister and threatened to torture a random kid. On top of that, she *lies* about it after! Watching it back, I did find myself being more forgiving (as will be apparent in later posts, I ended up respecting and appreciating Sansa) especially since she pays the price immediately for her lies and ends up losing her wolf.  Plus, if I can forgive Jaime…

In all seriousness, the reason why I don’t mind Sansa’s vapid-bordering-on-insipid actions early on is because she is just playing the role fate gave her. She acts the lady, as she was always taught, and you can’t really blame her for it. She’s even told “no one can ever hate you” (all the while Littlefinger drip-drips poison in her ear, but I digress…). She trusted in Joffrey to spare her father (though see above why she really shouldn’t have) because the lady trusting in her gallant prince is a story she’s always been told. What’s interesting is that her playing this role so well is actually evidence that she’s not clueless- she knows enough that to get ahead she has to conform. In playing the part, she’s actually being smarter than I thought. Even if I didn’t love her in season 1, her character was being built to go in a very interesting direction.

Arya Stark

Ah what stark differences between the sisters! I always loved Arya! Sharp as a needle, wild and a non-conformist, I think it’s impossible not to like her straight away. In the first season, I loved her courage and her relationship with Sirio Forel. I also liked how her “dancing” lessons were used to show a simultaneous flashback and foreshadowing. In one of the more interesting scenes, as Ned watches her learn to use a sword, we see a brief look of horror building in his eyes and his laughter turns to a scowl. It’s subtle, but it’s there- and I believe it is a sign of the horrors that Ned cannot stop befalling his children.

And Arya has one of the most heartwrenching stories– partly because she survives. She may initially be only playing with the sword, yet by the end of the season she’s made her first kill and lost her father. She’s heading down a very dark path….

But more on that next week! As with my episode reviews- I’d love to know who will be sticking around for this series? Are you a fan of GOT? Let me know in the comments!

TV TUESDAY

So I saw this wonderful new meme over on Codie’s blog Reader’s Anonymous and I thought I’d give it a go!

• Link back to the originator (Codie @Reader’s Anonymous)

Choose between these three:

• Book-to-Movie/TV show adaptation  (have you seen it? If no, do you plan to?)
• Book you think should be a movie/TV show  (Why?)
• Movie that prompted you to read a book?

*Optional – put up the trailer

MOVIE THAT PROMPTED YOU TO READ A BOOK?

So my choice this week is very similar to Codie’s- except I thought I’d go with a twist- because while the first Lord of the Rings movie did prompt me to read a book, it was actually the Hobbit that it made me pick up first.

And I’m so glad that I did- because it’s one of my all-time favourite books. There’s nothing like it in terms of adventure and heart-wrenching excitement. And since we’re comparing it to the movie, I by far prefer the book- in fact I wrote a whole post about my issues with the films (starting with the fact that there never should have been more than one film…) Personally, I love the Hobbit as a book and prefer the Lord of the Rings as films.

But I digress- go watch Lord of the Rings, go read the Hobbit- or completely ignore my advice and watch the Hobbit and read Lord of the Rings…

Agree? Disagree? Let me know which you prefer in the comments! Until next time!

Now that’s more like it! Game of Thrones comes home

Well, once again, Game of Thrones proves it can be messy, intense and poetic. I made no secret that the first episode of this season felt like a bit like a recap. But this episode was more like the old school Game of Thrones I know and love.

For those of you that haven’t watched it yet, I will say that this had *everything* I complained was missing from the first episode. The narrative was cohesive and so many times there were references to “Home”, so that everything tied in perfectly. It also had a much more intense tempo and there were only a couple of scenes when I felt like it slowed down- which was a vast improvement. Add to that some very quotable witticisms from Tyrion and some poetic lines from the mouths of the villains, and you’ve got one happy orangutan.

Now let’s get into it properly… (SPOILERS ABOUND)

I was so excited by Bran’s visions. I’d seen the hints of flashbacks of Arthur Dane and Ned Stark in the trailers for the season (and in all the leaked spoilers) but I was delighted to see how that would be shown through Bran’s training. I also loved that this set the tone for the episode, by having Bran have the chance to go home, if only through his visions.

Since we’re talking about the theme of Home, I loved the connection between Theon’s longing for home and the intrigue going on in the Iron Islanders. I can see already some really awesome stories being set up there. I cannot wait to see what the mad Greyjoys do next!

And speaking of mad characters- the Boltons never fail to give us those insane moments Game of Thrones is famous for. Somehow, in spite of his psycho tendencies, I didn’t see Ramsay killing his father (in fact, when they went in for the hug, I thought his father was the one that was going to do the stabbing). I did suspect (ok more than suspect) that Ramsay would murder his new brother- so that was no surprise. Either way it was great drama and a nice poetic death for the backstabbing Bolton.

Of course when I heard Ramsay saying he wanted to take the fight upto Jon Snow, I thought “come on then- even dead he could take you!” (Yes my inner football fan came out) And I thankfully I wouldn’t have to wait long! Because- shockingly- Jon Snow came back from the dead! (okay, okay, that’s not a shock at all- we all saw that coming- but I had expected it to happen later in the season) I won’t say we didn’t have to wait long, because I’ve had to wait FIVE YEARS for this cliffhanger to be resolved! Finally my suspicions have been proved correct and Melisandra has brought Jon back- *thank all the unholy gods of Westeros*!

I could easily spend the rest of this post just talking about that, but I have to give credit where credits due, because that wasn’t the only fantastic thing about this episode. As usual, Tyrion practically stole the show with his witticisms and had me laughing out loud more than once

That dragon scene could easily have been the highlight of the episode for me (if Jon hadn’t inadvertently stolen the show later on). I love how we’re getting to see his passion for dragons, because that’s a really big thing in the book. Plus it is my not-so-secret theory that he is secretly a Targaryen. I’d love it if that were true!

My only low point of the episode was king’s landing, because there’s no one I really care about there and nothing new ever seems to happen lately. It just seems to endlessly be the Lannisters promising to punish people- which of course never happens cos they can’t even manage to stop that bloody sparrow already! I swear, every time it goes there now I spend half the time hoping the sparrow dies and the other time hoping someone does away with poor useless Tommen. (Is it bad to feel that way? Ah well, it’s Game of Thrones– I’m bound to have some subversive thoughts about it)

But really ridiculously nitpicky of me and I’m just going to end on how excited I am to see where this goes now!

Why I Should Have Read Gone Girl Before I Watched the Film

*Don’t worry- no spoilers!*

So I made the classic mistake: I watched the film before I read the book. And I have to say because as I was reading it, I couldn’t help but think “this would be so much better if I didn’t know what was gonna happen!” Cos this book has so many twists and turns that it easily could’ve been a complete mind-bending shocker. But it wasn’t- because I knew *exactly* what was gonna happen- which was a real shame.

It didn’t completely spoil my enjoyment, because this is a really well-crafted book. According to Amy Dunne, cool girls don’t exist- but not to worry cos cool books definitely do- this one proves it!

I was also glad to see that the ending worked so much better in the book than the film. Half the reason it was better was because having literally been inside the character’s heads I was able to understand why they made certain decisions (as I said, no spoilers). That made it far less frustrating (I mean, there’s still an element of frustration, but at least it made sense). Also, the ending was given far too much space in the film- 30 pages worked out as half an hour and so much that was speculated on was added. Here, it felt condensed, to the point and just drilled home the whole point of the story. Which is another reason why I should have read the book first!

So the moral of the story is READ THE DAMN BOOK BEFORE YOU WATCH THE FILM.

Rating: 4/5 bananas

It’s kind of appropriate that I’m posting a review of “Gone Girl”, cos I may be gone for a few days (well, I may get the chance to read posts and comment, but I definitely will not be posting).

Shadowhunters: First (and Second) Impressions

Happy Sunday!! So, like many of you I’m having a lazy Sunday and catching up on TV- and what better TV could I be watching than the new Mortal Instruments series? Actually lots of programmes as you’ll soon find out.

Because while this programme was thoroughly entertaining and a pretty decent adaptation, a lot of it was really cheesy and had some straight up ridiculous special affects (I mean did anyone see those Seraph blades? I mean, c’mon they looked like they’d been pinched from a cartoon).

Honestly, I think the main issue was the script. I knew from the trailer it wasn’t going to be great- but I had hoped it wouldn’t all sound like such a cliché ridden gag reel. Sadly, I was disappointed- the writers obviously thought that pinching every single line from every single fantasy script ever made was a good idea. I mean, they genuinely put in the line “even in the darkest of places, there is light” when referring to Witchlights. Which felt like it was lifted straight out of Lord of the Rings (of course, I recognise that Clare is famous for plagiarism, so I suppose it’s an appropriate complaint for an adaptation of her work). Either way, it was *not* a good line.

Okay, that being said, I managed to sit through all three episodes- so there were obviously some good parts about this show.

I think the thing holding this programme together at the moment is the characters. Some of them (Alec and Simon in particular) are excellent interpretations. Even Isabelle, who is quite different from the character in the book, has a certain charm to her and is far less flat than the film version. Likewise, Valentine is much truer to the book version than the camp-but-acceptably-villainous version from the film. I mean, just compare the images of the two:

I’d say there’s no comparison, but there clearly is: the one from the movie looks like a failed 80’s rocker and the TV show looks like a slick supremacist out to destroy the world (in short he looks like Valentine). I love how they’ve quickly established how he cares for Jocelyn- and I loved his reaction to finding out about Clary, whilst also throwing in some super evil moments. It’s a very promising characterisation and it’s giving the show the much needed dark edge it needs.

On the flipside, of course, I’m really not convinced by the leads at this stage- which is a problem, because even if the supporting cast is great, I don’t want to wince every time the main characters come on screen. In a way, it’s actually quite funny, because in contrast to Jace’s wooden acting, Clary is totally overdoing it. Every time Jace comes across like a creepy robot (which is every time he delivers a supposedly witty or sarcastic line) Clary just gets more earnest and ridiculous. And don’t get me started on Clary trying to run in heels (that actually had me giggling to myself).

That said, it’s an enjoyable enough waste of time, so I will probably continue watching it. Although, that’ll probably be because I can never seem to stop watching things once I start- even if they’re rubbish- so it’ll probably take 5 years to wean myself off this. I actually hope this show gets cancelled before that stage (which tells me I should probably just stick to watching Homeland instead)

So what did everyone else think of this show? Will you be watching it? Let me know in the comments section 🙂