Well that was an absolute disaster

Disastrous. That’s how I’d describe this book.

Badly written and contrived, you may be inclined to consider this a “How Not To Write” guide. I certainly did when I came across a part where the main character says something along the lines of: “I have a great idea, why don’t I ask everyone’s names so we can bond”. Not exactly the best way to introduce a motley crew. It didn’t help that the sarky tone was complete overkill. It’s trying very, very hard to be funny- which of course means it only comes across as childish and insufferable. Add in details like the ship being called (I kid you not) Swiftkick and you will be wondering how such a juvenile manuscript ever made it past an editor (especially when the book’s title gives you a great option).

What makes all this worse is how desperate this book is to prove its geeky credentials. There are more than enough derivative illusions to Star Wars to make you want to join the dark side (complete with a “maybe I should shoot first” line). All of which is no mere accident- I found it amusing that the author’s bio has a weird flex about loving Star Wars more than you. Especially when it doesn’t come close to bringing the magic of Star Wars. Still, more noticeable is that it comes across as an Illuminae ripoff- except without the charm of the characters (or a good conspiracy to drive the plot… but we’ll get to that).

What’s most entertaining about how one note this supposedly diverse crew are (one reviewer described them as straightforward jocks- and I have to say I agree). What’s most frustrating is that in a book about failure, they’re not actually allowed to fail. For instance, the supposed brains of the operation gets herself captured, for no real reason and with nothing to gain, but oh-would-ya-believe it, she gets herself out of it with no harm done. Not only does this suck all the fun out of the concept, it also manages to remove all the tension. Very quickly, the crew that’s (justifiably) not getting on are now all the best of friends. Because this has to be the kind of story where they’re all pretty much useless, but also geniuses. In fact, we’re actually supposed to root for them because *twist alert* all their problems come down to discrimination.

That’s right- this book is woke as hell. And it wants you to know it. This book is on a tick box mission to cover all woke bases. The characters are defined by their immutable characteristics- and that’s it. Naturally none of the characters are allowed to have real flaws or personal development (because we all know diverse characters aren’t allowed personalities- implying they are human would be a travesty 😉). Hilariously, it’s also woke in way that accidentally ties itself in knots- especially when it comes to the so-called villain.

Because this is a woke book in favour of colonisation. I kid you not. As the official “bad guys” the Earth First group don’t make a lot of sense. Look, I get that the author was trying to parallel America First and far right movements- except that their motivations are more like a group of left wing eco warriors? This is a group saying that we shouldn’t colonise other planets when Earth has enough problems of their own- which to the author means they’re on the wrong side of history… yet to anyone else creates a crater sized flaw in the narrative. Here we have a story purporting to stand for left-wing progressivism… that somehow manages to be an argument for pro-establishment capitalism on (a)steroids. Needless to say, I don’t think the messaging is as right on as the author intended. In fairness to the author, this might be the most unintentionally funny story I’ve read in a while.

When it comes to the plot and world building I wouldn’t get excited. There’s not much to say about this supposed intergalactic setting, other than it doesn’t feel remotely like the future or another planet. In its pro-colonisation message, it does tell us that if we do take over other habitable planets, we may manage to set up a utopia for lefty ideals… though once again I’m not convinced this is what the author intended to put across. And in terms of plot, my notes are simply full of how bored I was. It’s just an endless stream of chase scenes and a rush to a stupid ending. Oh, but there is a polyamorous love triangle, because famously everyone that reads YA wants more love triangles. Give the people what they (don’t) want I guess.

Unfortunately, this book was nothing short of a mess. Other than the title and the cover, I can’t say there was anything I liked about it. I wanted to give this book a higher rating, since it’s not the worst book in the world, yet I simply couldn’t find a single thing to give it credit for. I didn’t even enjoy it as an audiobook- it was grating and irritating and could’ve done with more perspectives. So, I’m giving it the rather undistinguished honour of getting one of my rare banana peels:

Phew- that’s over with! I’m curious- have any of you had the displeasure of reading this? Or have you read any books lately you consider a disaster and think I should avoid? Let me know in the comments!

Reading goals can be fun!

Not always, but they can be. Which is why I find the claim that reading goals are not fun to be so absurd. I’ve seen this sort of thing around for a while- there seems to be a lot of discontent around people reading a lot or people planning to read tougher books or even reading “too fast”– and my question is always WHY?! WHAT IS IT TO YOU??? It’s frankly peculiar to care what someone else does with their reading. Criticism of reading successes or goals is so weird- cos it’s such a personal decision… and really has nothing to do with anyone else. But since some people do decide to make other people’s reading habits their business, I’ve decided to make a list of why someone might make reading goals:

#1 Reading goals can help you make your hobby a priority. I know that we all have fast-paced and busy lives, in which fitting in a hobby can be hard (no matter how much you may want to do it). Making a decision to read more books can force you to take some time for yourself! That’s why it’s so great when you see that people have read lots of books- it’s a sign they’re doing something positive for themselves- and that should be celebrated!

#2 More books makes the world go round! The fact is, as supporters of the book community, we should be happy to see people reading… even if that’s a lot more than we could ever read! Because when more people read, it helps the bookish industry, which means more books get published… and isn’t that what we all want? If nothing else, that gives us more choice over what to read next. And on that note…

#3 There’s *so many* books out there– planning your reading might mean you actually get to the ones you want! Of course, quality is better than quantity- but if you can do both, you may as well 😉 I know that for me, it’s a struggle to get through everything I own or borrow, so planning it out (however unsuccessfully) can be helpful.

#4 Books can be for self-improvement– and self-improvement can actually make you happy. Not just the fleeting momentary joy of doing something fun- more like the long-lasting satisfaction of a job well done. But choosing a book for self-improvement might not just happen if you rely solely on mood reading (take it from someone who knows 😉). It can be better to set it as an actual goal.

#5 They can help you branch out into books you might not have tried otherwise. Whatever your goal- whether it’s to read more books from diverse authors or check out poetry collections, actually making the decision to do that can be the step in the right direction.

#6 There’s no real pressure– they’re just for fun. You can make them as realistic or unrealistic as you like. No one has to know unless you want them to. Even if everything is blowing up around you, you can chill out about your reading goals.

#7 And you can’t really fail. I have charted my resolution results and yearly stats for a long time and one thing is the same every time: there’s no real expectation of success or failure. Since it is simply for your own benefit, you can choose to do them at your pleasure. You know what I did when I wasn’t feeling it the last two years? Nothing. I simply didn’t do them.

So, there you go- a list of why it can be run to reads and make reaching goals- if you ever felt you needed an explanation for other people’s reading habits (which as I’ve established, you don’t 😉). And if the thought of someone else’s reading behaviour still brings you out in hives, then you ought to consider this quote:

“What do you think is the biggest waste of time?” “Comparing yourself to others”, said the mole.”

All that considered- what do you think?? Do you care what other people think of your reading habits? Or does it bother you if other people make reading resolutions? Let me know in the comments!

I Dig Burying Eva Flores

***Received from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review… needless to say I won’t be keeping any skeletons in my closet***

Gossipy and intriguing, this paranormal YA has the potential to kick up quite the social media storm. With aspects that are hit and miss, it’s one of those books that I reckon will go down like marmite. For me, swept up by the drama and distinct characters in this audiobook, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it.

Instantly grabbed by the tone and the voice, I definitely found the multiple povs, texts and interviews lent themselves to the format. And while the supernatural elements could have detracted from the intense teen-rivalry plotline, they were integrated enough so as not to feel too out of place.  

What was a bit much was the protagonist’s attraction to an older man. Of course this did connect to the wider narrative and I saw the place this dark subplot had in the overarching story- yet it still made me uncomfortable. I get that it’s supposed to be toxic- but I wouldn’t blame anyone for tapping out at that point.

Personally, I was always going to be most invested in the revenge fantasy element- and luckily for me that part worked well. Delightfully dark in the best way, it kept me reaching for the book at every minute of the day!

I also really appreciated the social media aspect (even if the mere mention of Tiktok makes me feel old 😉). This is a novel about fame, authenticity and most importantly of all finding freedom from the constant glare of the camera lens.

Full of WTF moments, twisted charm and an entertaining ending, this story grabbed a hold of me and wouldn’t let me go until it was done.

Rating: 3½/5 bananas

So, have you read this? Do you plan to? And what are your favourite girl-rivalry stories? Let me know in the comments!

Nettle and Bone was DEAD GOOD!

There was a lot of buzz around this book- which hooked me in- though nothing could have prepared me for the magic in store. This standalone fantasy has a sting to it that makes it impossible to forget. It’s an unexpected read, with something special about it.

Entirely original in its world building, it still manages to feel like it’s based in fairy tales. The mythical edge to the narrative carries the plot. I truly felt like I had stepped into a different world, where there’s magic… but that magic comes at a cost.

The concept is simple. It’s about an unmarried going on a quest to save her married sister. Yet that synopsis does not do the story justice. Because this is the kind of novel that is all about the characters. With a not-so-typical cast, Kingfisher establishes characters who feel like real people. The main character isn’t just “almost a nun” and a princess- she’s been formed by these experiences, such that she’s been deprived of an education in the ways that matter. And yet, her charm and determination run deeper than her background. She forms connections in a natural way that endears you to her. And endears you to the other members of her team: from the gravewitch to the knight to the (somewhat wicked) godmother. Oh and a demon chicken… which was a great touch.

Getting down in the dirt, this shows that fairy tales don’t have very pleasant origins. Just because a story has a prince marrying a princess doesn’t mean it’s all happy endings. This is a book about taking control of a bad situation and that power doesn’t have to come from brute strength. And as much as this is a feminist commentary of how women are treated and the unfairness of the world, it doesn’t take itself too seriously. As much as this story deals with dark topics, there’s a light touch and humour to it.

Written with sharp and lyrical prose, Nettle and Bone had a lyricism I admire. Listening to it on audio absolutely got me feeling the moody tone and made me feel like I’d left our world behind. With a great performance from Amara Jasper, this is the kind of story that is meant to be heard. With its fairy tale vibes, it lent itself so well to this format.

Original and with great staying power, I can safely give this book my blessing. Especially since this book has a dog in it 😉 

Rating: 5/5 bananas

And that’s all for now! Have you read this beauty? Do you plan to? Let me know in the comments!

Monthly Monkey Mini Reviews – We’re in March 2023!

Hello all! Hope you all had a great month… I know I did with the love of my life Charlie Barley 😉

We’ve been getting out and about for lots of lovely walkies… when I’ve been well that is 😅 Sadly I’ve spent most of this month sick again, which really sucks, especially cos it means I don’t have so many books to share this month

And amazingly that didn’t result in me watching loads of TV- so I only have one show to talk about (but it’s a doozy)

Wednesday– woe is me that it took me so long to get to this! Woe is life that we have to wait so long for season two! This was quite simply a perfect show. With mystery, friendship, wonderful characterisation, a brilliant soundtrack and great cinematography- we were all spoilt with this hit of a show! I have nothing to say other than you *absolutely* need to watch this if you haven’t already!!

Forgotten Bookshop in Paris– I want to start this review with a true story. When I was very young, I met an elderly man in Yaffa, who had a shop filled with both Catholic and Jewish memorabilia. He told the story of how, as a teenager in France, the Nazis came to take him away. His mother told him to jump out the window and run. He made it to a church, where they hid him for the rest of the war. I can still remember how his eyes filled with tears as he said “I never saw my mother again”. My reason for sharing this story is simple: I don’t want it to be forgotten. Books like this, which talk of the occupation in France and deportation of French Jews, do an important job of conveying this memory. I could stop my own recollections resurfacing as I read this book. To its credit, the story had a strong sense of time and place. Though, admittedly, I was more invested in the modern characters in this dual timeline book. Still, I felt that the book felt very in touch with life and history.

Rating: 3½/5 bananas 

Mysterious case of the Alperton Angels– heavens above- Janice Hallet definitely knows how to write a damn good mystery! Made up of emails and texts, in a modern epistolary style, this delves into the grubby world of journalism and true crime. With characters who are consummate liars and subtlety deceptive, Hallet once more manages to strike the perfect balance between mystery and humour. While not necessarily having the best underlying  motive or twist, the story still manages to have a sensational ending worthy of the tabloids. More importantly, it leaves the reader with a moral choice: what is the right thing to do? A bit more far-fetched than other books, but I’m glad it didn’t slant (too much) into the fantastical. Definitely worth a shot for mystery lovers!

Rating: 4½/5 bananas 

Atheists Who Kneel and Pray– well I believe I may have read too many thrillers. Because I swear to any god who will listen that I spent this entire book waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe it’s me or maybe I simply have gotten over the whole “oh he’s stalked me to my place of work cos he fancies me, isn’t that cute?” Aside from her looks, there seemed to be no actual reason for the love interest to be downright obsessed with the main character. It was especially weird that she kept referring to herself as a muse when she was so goddamn empty inside. In fact, she went beyond being shallow to being a full-on narcissist. And this isn’t just me using the internet’s favourite buzzword- this was other characters in the book and glimpses of self-awareness from the protagonist herself. Because, as someone calling her out says:

“Even in the middle of hurting other people you’re focused on yourself”

I mean, yeah, narcissism seems a pretty apt description. Especially as she then throws herself a pity-party for treating everyone else like shit. In fact, the whole way through the book, she’s feeling sorry for herself and completely out of touch with other people’s emotional landscape. The closest she comes to empathy is when her boyfriend/husband/the-book’s-dull-as-dishwater-love-interest is depressed, she talks about banal things to make him feel better. Which is alright if you have an incredibly low bar for emotional support. I also felt like the book was clearly trying to manipulate me into rooting for her, with hints to her baggage from an averagely-bad childhood, troubled teens and an ongoing feud with an Other Woman trope (which frankly I was feeling over it from the second it started… forgive me for not loving girl-on-girl-hate). I also wasn’t massively into how choreographed the romance scenes were. All that said, this was far from the worst book I’ve read in a while and there were times when I really liked the writing style. I just didn’t think it was that good of a book. (But a great cover though).

Rating: 2½/5 bananas 

That’s all for now! Have you read any of these? What did you think of them? Let me know in the comments! And I hope you all had a good month! ❤

Goodreads What Were You Thinking? All The Times I Questioned The Goodreads Choice Award Winners…

While I religiously await the announcement of the Goodreads Choice Awards Nominees and Winners every. darn. year, I am nearly always disappointed by the outcome. Not just because I don’t want to read a lot of the books on the list, but because there are so frequently WTH moments, where I question the reading gods and why they chose to put such blatantly bad books at the top of the list. So, following up on my last post where I discussed the winners I actually liked I’ve decided to discuss some of the stinkers and meh reads that somehow managed to win this (perhaps-not-so) prestigious award.

Now, as much as I’m tempted to simply stick all my one/two banana reads on here, I am not going to just be playing into my own specific biases (*though obviously there will be some bias because you can’t have an objective opinion* 😉) I’m going to be talking about some books I quite liked- yet where I *DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY IT WON*. Because there’s some weird shit going on sometimes with these votes and I don’t get it. On the more positive side, I also won’t be sticking books I hated (*ahem* TFIOS) just because I hated them- even I can see why they were popular. Finally, while I’ll give an honorary mention to Cursed Child and Go Set a Watchman, I can’t give them a proper spot on this list because I haven’t read them (and actively don’t want to- which is why I question the fact they won!!)

Alright, enough of a preamble- onto the books!

Lessons in Chemistry– and I’m instantly breaking my own rule by including a book I’m not surprised won. It’s not a terrible book by any stretch of the imagination and it does appeal to a certain kind of ideological thinking- HOWEVER it’s this that frustrates me in the sheer arbitrariness of why a book becomes popular. As much as it’s not terrible, it’s also not great. If not for *the messaging* making certain people with a very slanted (and somewhat childish) view of history happy, this book would not have had the crazy success that it did.

The Maid– moving onto a book that’s not bad at all and that I actually LIKED… Look if this had been up for a contemporary award, I wouldn’t have minded so much (although I still wouldn’t have voted for it). What I object to is that a book with such a poorly written mystery plot won in that category?! When I read this, I distinctly remembered enjoying it *in spite* of feeling it was mismarketed as a thriller- and you want me to accept that it won over *so many* genuinely suspenseful and well-plotted books in that category?!? Nah man, it feels like I’ve been had.

Spanish Love Deception– okay this one was just lousy. There’s nothing else to say. It’s hundreds of pages of nothing. Whatever made it popular on Tiktok made it popular on Goodreads- and I don’t get it.

House of Earth and Blood– I like this less and less over time. Maas’ foray into adult fiction didn’t distinguish itself from her YA, except that it was more convoluted and boring. But hey- at least the characters and their romances felt like they’d been copied straight from her other books (except with new descriptors). This was not it for me.

Court of Silver Flames– yeahhh I’m not sorry for including Maas twice on this list. I’m just so unimpressed with the continuation of this series (that didn’t even satisfy me with its first conclusion). I felt like a sucker for reading it. And though this may be a case of me not being into Maas’ books anymore, I’m just gonna come out and say it: I’m tired of Maas winning fantasy category every year when there are so many better fantasy books out there. I want to see another author who actually brings something exciting to the genre win this for a change!

It Ends With Us– when this first came out, I felt like a pariah for not liking it. I personally find it a crass representation of domestic violence with an oversimplified plot and some tropes that are questionable (particularly the way it represents the abuser as just a poor damaged soul rather than the narcissistic prick they actually are according to science 😉). I thought I was alone in this, yet more recently, I’ve found I’m not so alone in my opinion. So at least that’s comforting. It winning an award for this shoddy job is still salt in the wound.

Still Me– such a nothing book. I cannot fathom why this lousy follow up to Me Before You was so well liked. Someone will have to explain it to me, because I don’t get it.

Truly Madly Guilty– I can barely even remember this book, but I can see from the average rating of 3.59 that it’s not super well-loved- so why the hell did this win an award?? Was it simply a matter of author recognition? Is that the secret to all of these?

The Last Thing He Told Me– yet another nothing burger with a side of empty fries. This is one of the most forgettable books I’ve ever read- so much so I can’t even remember the story! How then did it win an award when it was competing with books that contained an actual- ya know- memorable story!?!

Girl on a Train– because this wasn’t Gone Girl and this trainwreck was the start of a Satanic spawning of a whole subgenre of thrillers I am not here for.

So- here’s the moment of truth- do you agree or disagree with these books? Can you tell me why they were popular? AM I MISSING SOMETHING??!! And are there other winners you didn’t like? Let me know in the comments!

Following the crowd! Goodreads Choice Award Winners I LOVE

Often when the Goodreads Choice Award Winners are announced I give a huff of disapproval. Too often, for me at least, I can’t see why the books have won this annual popularity contest. It’s not just that I don’t like the books, it’s that I don’t get the hype. I guess I just don’t follow the crowd enough (as I discussed in a far more scientific, statistical piece a few years ago). AND YET sometimes, I absolutely do get it. This list is dedicated to the times when the Goodreads community were bang on the money and put the best books in the top spot. Without further ado, these are my favourite Goodreads Choice Award Winners:

Carrie Soto Was Here– obviously a 90s tennis book was gonna be a real winner with me! To be fair, I seem to be won over by every Taylor Jenkins Reid book, so I’ll admit I vote for them every time.

Circe– another no-brainer, this *genius* Odyssey retelling is one of those rare occasions where an author actually manages to get us to care more about a secondary character than the original hero. But then, Miller is a master at storytelling.

Red Rising– romans in space was bound to be bring a lot of action… and a lot of heartache. This delivered a bloodydamn brilliant time. As a fan eagerly awaiting the sixth instalment in this powerhouse of a series, I can safely say it deserved this award (and more besides!)

The Martian– a sci fi about being stuck in space shouldn’t make me this happy- and somehow it does! Weir’s wonderful protagonist Mark Watney is a favourite for me and many other readers to this day!

Pumpkinheads– of course this deserved to win! A cutesy, sweet Halloween graphic novel is what we all need in our lives. It was not only an instant hit with me- it’s something I return to every year!

Clap When You Land– emotionally, this is note perfect. There are few contemporary YA books that stand up to the power of this story.

Salt to the Sea– speaking of a book hitting you in the *feels*, this book pretty much hammers you with emotions. With this book, Sepetys proved beyond a doubt that her historical fiction, focusing on topics not often touched on, was top notch. 

The Nightingale– while the subject of French occupation and resistance in WW2 is broadly discussed in literature, I have to say this particular portrayal is immensely powerful and worth checking out. I think this is popular for a reason.

Silent Patient– perhaps this one may not make me quite so popular- but I do love this Greek mythology inspired thriller. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, yet clearly I’m not alone in enjoying its success.

We Were Liars– a lot of this book’s success came from people being hush hush about its plot twist- however I have never been quiet about how much I loved this YA book.

Gone Girl– if nothing else, I get this story’s significance in the cultural zeitgeist. Still inspiring copycats over a decade later, this is expertly written, with a twist to die for. It’s absolutely deserving of all the accolades. 

And that’s all for now! Do you agree or disagree with this list? And dare I ask- are you a fan of Goodreads Choice Awards? Let me know in the comments!

The Importance of Rom Coms!

After all my heartbreaking posts this month, it’s time for something more upbeat! And what could be cheerier than talking about rom coms? Today I want to talk about why I love rom coms and how necessary these kinds of stories are!

Obviously, it has to be said that rom coms make people happy. Guaranteed happily ever afters tend to bring a smile to our faces- and we need more of that in the world. We all need some joyful escapism from time to time!

That doesn’t mean they’re unrealistic- they simply have a more positive dose of realism. While rom coms deal with real world issues, they tend to be more grounded in the kind of things we might come across every day. In fact, the way they include every day problems, rather than world-ending-disasters, makes them truer to life than some gritty dramas (just sayin’).

More than that- love is an inspiring topic! Focusing on relationships, friendships and family connections not only teaches us how to behave, but also gives us an appreciation for what really matters in life. While we can often give more attention to movies about heroism and saving the day, in many ways, it’s more important to think about the small acts of heroism in ordinary lives. And as much as it seems insignificant, love is the power that binds us to each other and makes life worth living. So naturally we crave movies about it!

Rom coms also have a lot more depth than you think! The best rom coms are about growing in our relationships and self-improvement. Even if they’re not taken seriously, there are still far more serious rom coms out there than you realise! (think Shakespeare or Austen 😉) Stories don’t have to end in death to have meaning!

Plus, rom coms are fundamentally fun! They’re relaxing, they’re freeing and they make us laugh! And since laughter is good for you- rom coms must be too! 😉

And that’s all for now! Do you enjoy rom coms? What value do you see in them? Let me know in the comments!

Best Books for Healing a Heartbreak

So, you’ve had your heart broken and you don’t know where to turn and you fuzzy tear-filled mind thinks, how about a nice book? But they’re all happy, clappy romances and you don’t know what to do- well I’ve got you covered for every mood you can be in post-break-up or heartbreak.

One True Loves– plaintively capturing themes of love and loss, this unusual contemporary shines a light on the concept of “one true love”. Perhaps, after all, it is possible to have more than one 😉

Song of Achilles– if what you need is a good cry, then my goodness this book has you covered! *Be warned* though, this romantic retelling of Achilles and Patroclus, may break your heart all over again.

Noughts and Crosses– of course I had to include this star-crossed lovers alternate history! It’s the ultimate heartbreaker!

A Man Called Ove– a book about coping, or struggling to cope, with the loss of love in the later stages of life. This story let’s us know that love, hope and happiness can be found in even the most unlikely of places. It isn’t always easy, but it is ultimately uplifting.

Wuthering Heights– hauntingly romantic, this romance is so dysfunctional that, at the very least, it won’t have you envying the leads 😉

Tess of the D’Urbervilles– for those wanting to revel in heartbreak, then this is the book for you. Tragic and painful, this story proves that even angels can break your heart 😉 A dark picture of romance, Hardy writes of broken innocence and the cruelty of love.

Second Chance Summer– an emotional read, this YA contemporary is about getting second chance in romance and familial love. Because sometimes we need a little hope.

The Road Trip– on that note, this sweet romance can definitely serve as a pick-me-up. As is a frequent feature of Beth O’Leary books, this story moves from a painful situation to finding happiness, as we get to see former lovers reunite on an unexpected journey. There’s heart-breaking moments for sure- yet it all works out in the end!

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before– speaking of happier heartbreak stories, this is fundamentally a story about first love and falling out of love. It shows us that maybe the person we aren’t supposed to be with a fantasy. And maybe the universe has something far greater waiting just around the corner. After all, not all books about heartbreak have to end in tears.

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone– a book for healing, this is the memoir of a therapist as she goes through her own therapy. At its heart, it focuses on Gottlieb’s own breakup and the deeply personal lessons learnt from it. Lessons that can be applied to our own troubles and heartbreaks (spoil alert: it goes deeper than just calling her ex a dog… which is a conclusion you may or may not reach on your own 😉)

It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken– there had to be at least one of those popular self-help titles on this list 😉 I promise it’s a good one! Even in the throes of depression, this book will make you laugh and feel *a lot* better about your heartache. Partly thanks to a sense of schadenfreude (I found myself going “well at least I didn’t do that!” numerous times), partly thanks to the comforting advice (with a heavy dose of what notto do) and mostly thanks to the ways it points out that the failed relationship was most likely shit anyway. With its personal stories of going through a breakup and coming out the other side, this book can help anyone going a hard time.

And that’s all for now! Have you read any of the books on this list? Do you have any heartbreak books to add? Let me know in the comments!

GIVE ME A BREAK!! Horribly *Toxic* Romances I Wish I’d Never Read…

I wish I could dump all these books! Because I’m so tired of toxic tropes and bad romances. And these are in the romance novels we’re supposed to revere. There’s a plethora of unhealthy relationships in books- and I’m here to call it out!

Twilight– it’s not simply that I don’t find sparkly vampires sexy- it’s that I can’t stand Edward’s controlling behaviour, possessiveness and downright stalking. The so-called loving relationship in this series is built on abusive behaviour patterns. Add in the side piece Jacob being EVEN MORE toxic, with his manipulative behaviour and sexual assault, and it’s no surprise this book gets called out for its poor representation of romance.

Fifty Shades of Grey– oh my- I didn’t realise a book could be as bad as this. In all honesty, who is surprised to see this book on here? Christian Grey is a poster boy for billionaire abusers. And this book is a great example of how coercion is not consent.

Beautiful Disaster– Travis is walking red flag- oh but he’s hot, so it’s okay apparently.

The Duke and I– shockingly unromantic. Leaving the communication issues aside, the main character actually believes she has every right to rape her partner… and even blames him for it. Just an icky book.

It Ends With Us– ironically, this book is trying to turn the narrative on its head, by showing us how you can miss the red flags. Unfortunately, I feel like it fails horribly. Making excuses for the abuser, inserting another (unhealthy) relationship in the book (which began when the mc was underage) and deciding to still have contact with the abuser. If you’re looking for a book to shine a light on domestic abuse, this is not it.   

Time Traveller’s Wife– because grooming is not romantic.

Foxhole Court– cos the rapey vibes gross me out.  

A Court of Thorns and Roses– people say Tamlin’s character was ruined in later books. I disagree. He was too bland to be ruined. The fact that he morphs into an abusive man-child qualifies him for this list. And that’s not even considering the fact that all the so-called “healthy” relationships in this series are completely co-dependent. No one in Maas’ series can cope outside of a relationship it seems. Yet apparently that’s a-okay because they’re “mates” (yeuch).  

Normal People– for all its pretention, this is simply a romance book. And a bad one at that. The couple in this are self-centred and treat everyone around them as collateral damage. Their being so ghastly should in fact make them exempt from this list- since I was trying to choose books that were romantic- but I made an exception here because I don’t think we’re actually supposed to view them as vile. Even if they absolutely deserve each other.  

The Notebook– call me old-fashioned, but endless shouting matches don’t really scream romantic to me. Apart from the cheating aspect (which is also completely toxic) they simply communicate in a really unpleasant way. Books like this don’t age well.

And that’s it for now! Do you want to dump these books (in a fire) too? Do you have any more to add (to the furnace)? Let me know in the comments!