How to DNF!

Every so often I come across a meh book and renew my promise to get better at DNFing… but I never do. That’s why I decided to realllly think about how I could improve! With a great deal of research (into fun gifs) I’ve managed to write a comprehensive guide- enjoy!

Step 1: Crack open a book, hyped or otherwise, naively *brimming with excitement*

Step 2: Realise “huh, this wasn’t as good as I thought it would be”

Step 3: *Shrug shoulders* and keep reading- but this time with a growing sense of foreboding…

Step 4: Feel the boredom growing.

Step 5: So. Much. Boredom.

Step 6: *Start speed reading*, thinking that maybe it’ll get better, but begin to consider that this book may not be for you and perhaps you should just quit…

Step 7: But no! There must be a reason you picked it up in the first place! This must be your secret mission in life! You must PERSEVERE!! Continuing against the odds, you feel the weight of this uphill battle as you trek, page by page, deeper into this dreadful tome…

Step 8: With a sinking feeling, you wonder will there be a light at the end of this tunnel…

Step 9: …but there is only darkness…

Step 10: You wonder if maybe you’re only reading on just so that you can write that stinking review.

Step 11: And if this is true, you realise it may not be the best reason to keep reading… yet still you *agonise over the decision* past the 30% mark…

Step 12: Okay, that’s it, you’ve had enough. *Put the book down*

Step 13: You stay strong for approximately three hours.

Step 14: Then you cave and pick that bad boy up again!

Step 15: Ugh, you realise it’s worse than you remember.

Step 16: *Put that book down again*

Step 17: Leave said book on your bedside table for approximately three weeks.

Step 18: Eye book, thinking “maybe I’ll try it again”.

Step 19: Quietly put book back on the shelf, promising yourself this is not the end…

Step 20: …except it kind of is, because you’ll never pick that book up again until three years have passed and you’re looking for something to unhaul. You think to yourself “maybe I was wrong about it”, but nah, it’ll look better in an unhaul photo than a review… and so you announce on your blog that you never finished it and never will!

*Congratulations you have successfully DNF’d