Ranking the Worst Tropes in Fantasy- Inspired by Kate Cavanaugh

A while back, I was watching an amazing video on Kate Cavanaugh’s channel (an absolute gem if you like writing videos!) where she made bad fantasy tropes *face off* against each other to determine the WORST FANTASY TROPE. I loved this idea- especially cos I agreed about so many of the tropes- and wanted to do my own spin on it. Maybe I’m lucky but I just haven’t seen some of these tropes in a while, so I tweaked the list a little to be more reflective of tropes I actually come across (including some from my least favourites post). I’m also gonna rank these instead of playing them off against each other. This is cos, as much as you guys know I love my rants, I don’t hate all these tropes (some I even LOVE).

“Here comes the cavalry”- I love this trope. Keep doing it please.

Made up languages- unless this is done so badly that it makes me laugh OR is just a way to rip off Tolkien (which we’ll get to way down the list) I’ve no problem with this.

Evil Dark Lord is secretly related to the hero– not only do I have no problem with this,  but I actually love when heroes have a deep connection to villain- so bring it on.

A life for a life– seriously no problem with this- it’s a good way to weigh up the cost of magic. Unless it’s reused often in the same story!

Character resurrection– I only dislike this if it’s done over and over, but it’s not nearly as bad as a fakeout (which we’ll get to). Also, it’s VERY COOL when characters are brought back from the dead in a creepy way!

Hero is an orphan– yeah, controversial opinion, but I’m usually fine with this as well. I know why people don’t like this one, because it is overdone (Pages Unbound do great posts on this) however I still can’t bring myself to hate it?

Opening scene is hunting to survive– to be honest, although this is coming up more and more, I still don’t mind it as an opening. It’s really not going to put me off unless it’s badly written.

Magic system with no rules/confusing rules– yeahhh this one will get my fantasy credentials ripped away BUT while I like well done magic systems, I’m less likely to be critical of it.

Reluctant hero– as long as it’s done well, I think it can be fun. I prefer it to the bland milquetoast hero that jumps at the chance to save the day!

A character who is MIA for an entire book– Kate Cavanaugh mentioned this in relation to Song of Ice and Fire- and while I completely get her point and I’d miss the character too- I can live with this (provided we’re not led to believe the character is dead when they’re not).

Gratuitous sex scenes that don’t further the plot– erm I’m okay with some hot and heavy romance scenes… just as long as it’s well written! (I’m beginning to sound like a broken record now)

Forced romance between two main characters– I don’t necessarily associate this with fantasy- which is the reason it’s not lower on the list. That said, there are times when it really grates on me.

Time travel– I know so many people have a problem with time travel plots (which I get, cos, kinda interferes with logic a lot of the time) but it’s not going to put me off a book (though it doesn’t have me reaching for it either).

Medieval (usually British) fantasy– I haven’t read one of those in a while… but that’s cos I’m very unlikely to pick it up at this point. It’s definitely overdone. We’re kind of drowning in these at this point!

Prophecies– okay, yes, I could live without prophecies. HOWEVER, it’s not too bad if it’s kept vague. As long as it doesn’t say “X person is going to save the world”, then it can work. Although, I could still do with it being used more sparingly.

Long lost heir– nah, I’m not into this (thank you, next!)

“I’ll tell you when I see you next”- oof I get why Kate Cavanaugh included this (like she says, it’s code for *I’m gonna die and never tell you*) THAT SAID there are things that are a lot worse- and one that specifically relates to this.

Bad riddles– I hate this, cos I used to do it in my own writing and I think I got the maturity to stop… so wish other writers would too! It’s okay if it’s not your forte- just leave it at the door! Just because Tolkien did it, doesn’t mean you have to (although, of course, if you write gorgeous poetry, be my guest 😉)

The hero has the magic in them all along– it’s cheesy, but I can live with it… sometimes. In Middle Grade. Maybe. (Please don’t do it).

Hero with zero experience suddenly is a master– this is kinda similar to the Chosen One (spoiler alert, that’s gonna feature on this list). Still, this is not as bad, cos there’s often some kind of training montage to have them learn (even if it’s too quick).

Magic ex machina– this is when the characters into terrible situation- then (usually unexplained) *magic* comes in that saves the day. Similar to *here comes the cavalry*- except for some reason I find this one kinda takes all the tension out the story.

Overpowered object– magical artefacts are great and all- I’m just not really into swords/rings/nefarious objects being the centre of attention.

World building info dumps– this one hits close to home, cos I’m editing this out of my story right now… yet, even if I sympathise with the urge, it’s not good. Poor readers- they don’t deserve this shoddy writing.

Pointless meandering/book travelling syndrome– I swapped this out for the endless side quest, because it’s something I see more often (and includes the overlong side quest). It’s another one I’m guilty of- and I hate it!

Impossible to pronounce names– don’t get me wrong, much like made-up languages, I like funny or unusual names. ON THE OTHER HAND, the reason this is so high up the list is cos it can be taken too far. Don’t call your character Dhjoukn when the name you were going for was Jon. And maybe keep it in your pants a little if it’s something no one reading your book could feasibly pronounce.

Ripping off Tolkien– I feel like a lot of the above tropes can combine to produce this one… which is why it’s so bad! Writers that do this *overload* their books with tropes. Plus, if I wanted to reread Tolkien, I’d just do that!

Strong woman doesn’t need saving– okay, yes, I took out the damsel in distress in favour of this, because frankly I never come across damsels in fantasy these days (unless it’s a male character that constantly needs saving because) Yet, I see this one ALL THE TIME! Like I said, usually accompanied by endless quests to save their love interest AND snappy retorts about how they don’t need saving. It’s… not endearing to read. Not saying I want the damsel back, only I don’t want to read this either. Not only did it get boring after the fifty-millionth Buffy ripoff, but I also feel like this has been used as an excuse to give female characters less characterisation, not more!

Dragons that are just giant lizards– this one’s just personal. I’m really fussy about dragons in fiction. I’m all for interesting takes… but don’t push it. And, most importantly, don’t make dragons dull (somehow people manage to do that!!)

Fake deaths– yeah I can get on board with the odd resurrection- yet if you rob me of the impact of a character death, Imma be pissed!

Kill the big bad and all the minions die– this. is. such. an. obvious. plot. convenience. And I’ve no idea why it became a thing!! When would this ever happen in reality? I know it’s common in fantasy (or sci fi) but there should be *some* reason why this would happen. And I’m BORED of it. If you have to have the baddies run away and be routed, fine, I could live with it. NOT THIS!! NEVER THIS! So, writers PLEASE STOP!

The Dumbledore– okay so you know how I mentioned there’s something a lot worse than “I’ll tell you next time”? Well this is it. It’s one of the worst tropes because the character withholding information has no reason to do it! It just ends up being a ridiculous way to keep the main character in the dark when the information is readily available.

Evil for the sake of being evil– we all know this sucks, right?! I mean, it really, really, really sucks. I love when fantasy explores the nature of being evil, so when there’s a copout “they’re just evil because”, well then, here’s my response: *blows raspberry and tosses banana peel at writer’s face*. I hate I’d say it’s the worst, but there’s still one more…

The Chosen One– yeah, this is my worst trope. I know some people still like it, but I was bored of it by the time Harry Potter rolled around. And it hasn’t slowed up since then. It’s *everywhere*. There are adaptations of frickin Peter Pan with this trope shoehorned in!! And why? Give me a character that has to do it for any reason other than *a prophecy said they would defeat the baddie*. It’s lame and takes away good motivations for doing the right thing. And gives the story too much inevitability. I don’t even care if a character is overpowered… just please not this. (Oddly enough, and to end on a more positive note, I eat up stories that flip this trope in any way… more of those please!)

Wow I was surprisingly reasonable for a lot of that… But do you agree with me on any of these? What do you think is the worst fantasy trope? Let me know in the comments!

Quickfire Fantasy Tag!

Hello all! Keeping up with the theme of escapism, I thought I’d take you all on a quick ride through some fantastic fantasy stories. I was tagged eons and eons ago by the brilliant Katie @Never Not Reading and the great Joelendil– both are fantasy buffs, so I highly recommend checking them out if you need amazing recommendations and want to read thoughtful reviews in this genre!

The Rules

• Thank the person who tagged you and link back to their post
• Link to the creator’s blog (wordpress.com) in your post
• Answer the prompts below – all fantasy books!
• Tag 5 others to take part
• Enjoy!

5-Star Book

Ten Thousand Doors of January– I know, I know, I never shut up about how this transported me, how it was beautifully written and how I loved how it explored different relationships… but just can’t get over how good this was!!

Always Going to Recommend

Discworld– because it’s funny and I’m certain there’s (at least) one book in there for everyone! If you want a twist on traditional witchy tales, then go for the Witches stories. If you need subverted fantasy tropes, give the City Watch stories a try. And if you just need eccentric and bonkers, then go for the Death books! Etcetera Etcetera! (there are basically a million reasons to try Terry Pratchett!)

Own It But Haven’t Read

Oof so many!! I’m gonna go with Lies of Locke Lamora and Finnikin of the Rock  because I’ve heard such incredible things about them (and can’t believe I haven’t got to them yet!). Oh and let’s throw in my more recent purchase of Thorn– just to add to my growing tbr guilt!

Would Read it Again

I’m definitely planning on doing a reread of Sabriel at some point! (hopefully soon!) I think it might be good for an autumnal read.

In Another World

For me, it’s gotta be another favourite and that’s the world of His Dark Materials. Yes, it seems like our world, but it’s very, very different. After all, we don’t have armoured bears, witches and daemons… and we’re missing out!

Back on Earth

Neverwhere– I just love the way Gaiman magically recreates our world and shows us the wonder that hides in plain sight!

This tag has been around for so long, it’s almost legendary at this point, so I’m not tagging anyone specific- just consider yourself tagged if you’d like to do it! And I’d love your top, newest fantasy recs! Let me know in the comments!

Enchantment of Ravens Had A Certain Charm

Well this book was an unexpected pleasure. While I’m always hearing great things about the author’s more recent release, Sorcery of Thorns, I feel like Enchantment of Ravens has flown a little under the radar… which is why I wasn’t expecting to like it quite as much as I did.

From the off, there was a subtle sense of intrigue, creating a little whimsy in the world building. I was instantly captivated by the writing style and charmed by the characters. Traced out just enough to have a sense of form, there was an air of the unknowable about them, making them all the more intriguing.

I loved the carefully laid brushstrokes to the world building as well. There was an element of threat in the wild nature of the Fair Folk and I loved this conception of them. The story played with the idea of costly immortality, of the sorrow of living forever without being able to change and of the grief attached to this eternal death. To me, it was especially impressive to see this slowly woven into the narrative, painting quite the picture through simple actions of a fair folk being unable to do something as simple as cooking. It showed me how human creativity is our greatest asset. Of course, in terms of details, elements of the Craft could certainly seem surface level- however I was personally surprised and delighted by this level of depth in a seemingly simple YA fantasy.

Going beyond the world, I did feel the plot could be a little all over the place. The romance, for instance, leapt into action and then bizarrely slowed down to a snail’s pace. And I wasn’t convinced that there was a clear line to the plot. Still, I did enjoy the banter and aspects of the love affair. And, ultimately, I did like the way it ended and everything was tied together.

Overall, while this wasn’t the perfect book, it had so much potential! If you take a step back, you can see the beauty in it. I definitely have to admire this work as a while and have high hopes for this truly talented author.

Rating: 4/5 bananas

 

So, have you read this? What did you think of it? And have you read or do you plan to read anything else by this author? Let me know in the comments!

The Obsession with Making Writing Real

One thing I have to make clear before I get started is that I’m not saying “realism sucks”. Every genre or style has its time and place. As much as I love fantasy, I’m open to all forms of the genre and I also adore classics/literary/contemporary fiction etc (not to mention the fact I like my historical fiction as realistic as possible). So, let’s just begin by saying yes, realism rocks just as hard as fantasy. Glad we could get that out of the way 😉

What I do mean, however, is that sometimes striving for realism takes over. While glaring errors can take you out of a story, sometimes criticism of contemporaries can get a little nitpicky (like, whether or not a particular school has a netball team or whatever). And I’ve written at length about why I’m happy to suspend my disbelief for fantasy. More recently, there’s even been a particular obsession with real experience. Which, you know, can be a problem since not every book is (or should be) an autobiography.

For starters, writing is often about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. That’s kind of impossible if you’re never allowed to think outside your own bubble. And while I’m not saying poach anything you like, or that everyone is capable of doing this, some people really are amazing at putting themselves in the mind’s eye of someone totally unlike them (one of the best examples being Rowling’s depiction of abuse, when, as far as I know, she hasn’t experienced this herself).

The other huge problem is how subjective this can be. While one reader might give you the go ahead, another might say you got it totally wrong. This can be even more troubling when you consider the fact that even if you have the same experience, it doesn’t mean you relate to it the same way. It’s frankly horrifying to see authors attacked for writing about their own experiences- which happened to Leigh Bardugo recently over Ninth House. I’m gonna be real: I lean heavily on my own experience in my writing, so it strikes a nerve to see people lashing out at writers over this. I shouldn’t have to point this out, because it is fairly obvious, but here we go: you can’t make claims about someone’s experience without knowing the individual intimately (and even then, it’s pretty rude).  In fact, I’ve had people do the “ugh you don’t know about this, so shut up!” routine to me over things I *definitely* do know about (though, of course, they don’t know that). I’d say it’s safer not to assume you know a stranger’s life story, but that’s just me 😉

What’s more, even if I’ve been critical of a book for being unrelatable, I find it really helpful to hear why other people got something out of it. Not everything can be relatable for everybody– so it’s cool if you disagree with me on something. It gives me a chance to hear another perspective.

Plus, a huge amount of this simply comes down to personal taste. That’s what I tried to get across when I wrote the post “Don’t Write X”- it’s just not possible to appeal to everyone- and that’s okay! I can accept, for instance, that some readers are into fantasy for the world building and complex systems- ergo hyper-realism is important to them. Just because it isn’t the case for me, doesn’t mean I get to rain on their parade and decide all books should be super fantastical. There’s room for both hard and soft magic systems! Similarly, I’ve heard one writer say they find it pulls them out of a contemporary if the names don’t match up to modern trends… whereas I’m all for the quirky names! Barring huge illogical inconsistencies and glaring errors, these things will always be hit or miss. It’s about finding the right readers for a particular book.

For me, books aren’t all about how precise they are; they’re about the endless possibilities they contain. And so I’m not going to obsess over the realism (especially cos even complex magic systems basically come down to *because magic* anyway 😉).

So, what do you think? Is realism the be-all and end-all for you? If not, where do you draw the line? Let me know in the comments!

Fantastic Fantasy for November Nights!

I don’t know about you, but as the nights get colder and the days get drearier, I start to feel a bit more like grabbing the nearest dragon and taking flight into some bookish fantasy worlds… which is why today I’ve got some excellent escapism for us all, with a fun fantasy list:

(NB Yes, you can always just reread Harry Potter, but you don’t need me to tell you that, do you? 😉)

Wizard Heir– of course, if you need something with one foot still in this world, then I cannot recommend the Heir series enough! There is a book that takes place before this, but I tend to pick this one as my favourite because *my goodness* this book hit me in the *feels*. On the subject of faves…

Discworld DEATH series– where would I be without this series? I started my Pratchett journey with the Death books and I couldn’t have fallen more deeply in love with the humour, quirkiness and sheer wit of this series. If you’re searching for funny fantasy, with a darker twist, then look no further!

Neverwhere– I feel like Gaiman and Pratchett always go together in my mind. If you don’t feel like travelling as far as the Discworld, however, this reimagining of London is the *perfect* book for this time of year: dark, unique and layered.

A Darker Shade of Magic– speaking of a fresh take on London, Schwab’s *magical* series will certainly win over fantasy fans (that is, if you haven’t already read it 😉)

Raven Boys– more or less still in the real world, this atmospheric series plays with fantasy in innovative ways and will win you over with its complex characters (also ahhh so glad Rowan is getting more books!)

Hazel Wood– let’s take a trip somewhere a little different. And my goodness, this book is different! If you like luxuriously written and gloriously imaginative stories, then this gothic blend of fantasy and fairy tales will sweep you off your feet.

Darkest Part of the Forest– are you hyped up for Queen of Nothing coming out soon? Well, why wait! You can always check out some of Black’s other *fantastic* fairy stories. This one even gets a shoutout in Folk of the Air!

Through the Woods– this sort-of fairy tale retelling has a spectacularly spooky feel and really works if you’re still looking for some Halloween vibes!

Blackwing– if you’re craving even more darkness, then why not try this vivid and distinctive grimdark series? It’s the kind of book that takes you far from the family and lingers with you long after you finish.

King of Scars– to be fair, I could’ve picked any one of the books in Bardugo’s grishaverse. I chose this partly because I read it recently, but mostly because really evokes a darker Russian setting that suits the approaching wintry mood. I feel like it really embraces the coming darkness- which reminds me of…

Sabriel– by far one of my favourite fantasy series, this classic necromancy tale is the book that showed me how deliciously dark fantasy can get.

And that’s all for now! Which fantasy lands do you like to escape to at this time of the year? Let me know in the comments!

Favourite Fantasy Worlds I’d Love to go on Holiday To…

 

So, this isn’t the first time I’ve thought of packing it all in and going off to fantasy land- I was feeling the wanderlust last month and went on a jaunt a couple of years ago in January 😉 With that in mind, I’m gonna try my hardest not to repeat too many destinations (and if there are any shockers missing from the list feel free to check out my other posts). Also, these are places I actually want to go- so no Panem or Westeros for me! I’m gonna try and play it safe- starting with…

Faerieland– okay perhaps not the safest first choice. However, I’m often captivated by faerie realms, but few are more intriguing to me than Holly Black’s take in Cruel Prince. I’ll just make sure I take some iron and rowan berries for protection!

Iwagoto– aka the world from Shadow of the Fox. I mean, I really want to go to Japan, but a fantasy version of Japan *with* Kitsune?! YES PLEASE! This mythical creation by Kagawa has set my imagination alight and I’d whizz off tomorrow if I could.  

Discworld– well, obviously 😉 My first stop would be the Unseen University, to say hello to say hello to my bestie and stock up on some books/bananas!

Lyra’s Oxford– let’s be fair: real Oxford is a very pretty city. But I have always wanted to have my own daemon and meet Gyptians and witches and armoured bears… so yeah I need to take a trip here. If only I could get my hands on a Subtle Knife…

Cover image of The Night Circus, by Erin Morgenstern

The Night Circus– I think when people talk about fantasy worlds, this nearly always comes up. And there’s a good reason for that! The Night Circus is a whole other level of captivating magic- and I think most of us would give an arm and a leg to be able to go!

Ravka– oh Russia would be amazing to go to- but how much more so would Grishaverse Russia be?! Preferably with the Darkling as my guide 😉 (he’d be good for tourism, really sells the place 😉)

Narnia– I have to admit, I have checked many-a cupboard looking for Narnia. Alas- to no avail! One day though, I’m sure I’ll stumble into the land that is always winter and meet a friendly lion who will eventually crown me queen monkey… what? It could happen! (also, I wouldn’t say no to a few Turkish Delights- yum!)

Neverland– speaking of the classics, I’d quite like to pop off to Neverland sometime soon. I rather fancy going somewhere I can never get older (even if I’d probably fit in more with the pirates than the lost boys at this stage 😉)

Wonderland– this one might be more of a risk, what with the crazy queen shouting “OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!” Even so, I think it’d be worth it to say hello to the Cheshire Cat and the Mad Hatter. Plus, I could always make a beeline for the mushrooms of course…

Ingo– I haven’t seen nearly enough underwater worlds- and none are done as well as this. It’s the kind of story that has an utterly unique feel and I would love to explore it more for real!

Howl’s moving castle– Wynne Jones always had a magical way with her settings- and none more so than Howl’s Moving Castle. She (literally) brings it to life and I couldn’t think of anything more fun than bouncing round the globe in this awesome travel home.

Alright, I didn’t go to deep into the danger zone there 😉 What do you think of my list? Would you like to go to any of these worlds? Is there anywhere else you’d rather go? Let me know in the comments!

My Favourite Mythical Creatures

 

From Tolkien’s elves to Pullman’s daemons, mythical creatures are often the backbone of fantasy. I’ve talked quite a bit about how they can pull me into a story, but I’ve never said which are my *absolute faves*- though never fear, that day is here!

Dragons– let’s just get the obvious one out of the way, shall we? 😉 These fire-breathing, war machines are easily my favourites. I will admit that when it comes to dragons, I am biased- for me, the perfect dragon is very Smaug-like. Clever, greedy, possibly evil… but completely badass!

 

Ghosts– even though I’m totally afraid of scary stories, I can’t help but be drawn to ghosts in stories (a bit like how I’m scared of heights, but love rollercoasters). I can’t say that I have a definite favourite here, but I did realllly like the version in The Girl in the Tower, possibly because the Russian atmosphere gave me the chills in more ways than one.

 

Phoenix– I mean, it’s another creature that is fiery and can fly. Plus, it’s got powers often linked to resurrection- I think it’s fairly obvious looking at this list why I like them. Now for a lot of people, the first phoenix that will come to mind is the rather lovely Fawkes from Harry Potter, but recently I’ve discovered an even MORE EXCITING representation of this mythical creature… say hello the phoenix riders in Crown of Feathers! This definitely goes above and beyond any other depiction I’ve seen before!

Kitsune– when I first heard about these mythical creatures, I was falling straight down the rabbithole/foxhole of research, because they are so fascinating! Cunning and magical, they easily crept onto the list. And when it comes to the best version I’ve seen- well, that’s obviously Shadow of the Fox.

 

Fae/Faeries/Fey– this one is quite on vogue lately- and I am living for it! I had so many options here for examples I could go with- I loved the evil Phaeries in Wooding’s Poison and I was tempted again by Kagawa’s portrayal in Iron Fey. Ultimately though, I decided to go with Holly Black’s Darkest Part of the Forest, for an atmospheric take that falls somewhere in between the two styles. 

And the last one that feels like a bit of a cheat…

Witches and wizards– I’m not sure I even count these as magical creatures- especially because their conception is so vast. And yet it would feel remiss not to mention them. Best by far that I’ve seen lately is Madeline Miller’s Circe– she takes the idea of talent and hard work, then melds them together in the most interesting version I’ve come across in recent history.

 

And that’s all I’ve got for now! What do you think of these creatures? And what are your favourites? Let me know in the comments!

Fantasy Tropes I Love

 

Poor old genre fiction is often maligned- even by me 😉 Too often I talk about the downsides of tropes and themes I don’t like- so today, since I’ve got a lot of my Moaning Minnie opinions out of my system, I thought it would be fun to talk about some fantasy tropes I actually love!

*Magic*- especially if there’s too much of it!! Which may sound weird to everyone- cos either you think like me “can there BE too much magic?!” or you think “welllll there are limits”. For me there are no limits! I’m always willing to suspend my disbelief for fantasy and this will always make me excited 😀

Dragons– all the DRAGONS!! Now, I will admit, I’m a bit more discerning when it comes to dragons- as I said in my least favourite fantasy tropes post I won’t just settle for any old dragon. Still, that comes from a place of love, because I can’t really say it enough: dragons are my favourites!

 

Cool gadgets/magical artefacts– similar to the dragons, I’m not always into magical gizmo fixes all the problems/needs to be destroyed in order to save the world. That said, I do get a thrill when little magical objects find their way into the story and are shown off in a James-Bond-gets-his-gadgets kind of scene. 

Antagonist turned ally– I just love redemption arcs. So, whether it’s an enemies to lovers twist, or an antagonist turned ally, I am super on board for this trope!! At the same time, I wouldn’t say no to… 

 

The *just deserts* being served– as much as I love villains learning the error of their ways, I also enjoy them being punished just as much. Especially cos not all villains are created equal and sometimes it’s satisfying to see the Walder Freys of stories being served their own sons, Titus Andronicus style 😉

Quests! A huge part of the fantasy genre is the hero’s journey and what better way to get them started than sending them off on a literal journey?! While I think this can easily go wrong or be done badly, I can still be tempted by a jolly jaunt into fantasy land. For me, this will never get old!!

 

Going into the *wilds* and coming back transformed– this is an age-old trick in folklore, which Tolkien drew on and famously made a part of the genre. It’s very typical to read a fantasy novel where the main character ventures out into the unknown (most often represented as forests) and learns something dark and twisted about the world or themselves. It’s a stalwart part of the genre- and I can’t get enough of it.

Mysterious libraries/castles/schools– naturally, adding magic can make the mundane more special- who knew? 😉 Seriously though, some locations blend better into the fantasy realms. Personally, I really appreciate when buildings are transformed into something creepier and more enigmatic. Speaking of which…

Ghosts and necromancy– blame Garth Nix’s Sabriel for cementing my love for this one 😉 Funnily enough, I’m easily creeped out, yet I still firmly believe the ability to bridge the divide between life and death is one of the best things about fantasy. It’s such a great opportunity to explore interesting and unearthly themes. I can’t quite get enough of fantasy books which draw up the veil and dance over this line.  

All hope is lost… oh no wait it isn’t! Also known as the “here comes the cavalry” twist. Maybe I’m a masochist, but I get all jittery when the author makes me truly believe we’ve reached the end of the road and then *DADA* reinforcements come at the last second.

 

And that’s all I have for now! What do you think of these tropes? Do you have any favourite fantasy motifs of your own? Let me know in the comments!

Books With The (Somewhat) Dreaded Book Travelling Syndrome

Book Travelling Syndrome Definition: the art of getting so lost in your own story that plot, character and everything else is forgotten in favour of random adventures

Yes, I made the term up, and no, it’s not taking off. I feel like the response to this post could be very Mean Girls…

Whatever- it’s totally a thing. And I know it’s a thing, cos it’s something I’ve struggled with as a writer. So I’ve decided to compile a list breaking it down, into the good, the bad, and, well you get the idea- enjoy:

The Good

The Hobbit– Yup, even my beloved Hobbit has it, that’s why I got it into my head that this was a good idea in the first place (as I explained here). I won’t say I have no regrets about this cos it’s not always a great storytelling strategy. At least, most of the time, as we’ll come to see…

Neverending Story– again, this book tricked me your honour, cos sure it has “neverending” in the title, which would imply boredom, but this is *far* from boring. In fact, it’s one of the most entertaining books I’ve ever read. I owe it so much as a story- but also *shakes fist* curse you for filling my head with so many bad structuring mechanisms.

The Bad

Eragon– really not the worst book on this list- but it does meander about a lot pointlessly.

Phantastes– it’s alright, but it has plenty of pointless meandering about and is quite forgettable.

And the Ugly…

Eye of the World– I’m sorry to disappoint fans of this book, but oh-my-gawd I was so bored with this! I think this was like a sledgehammer over the head that book travelling *doesn’t always work*- so I guess some thanks is in order, in a way.

Wise Man’s Fear– one of the most disappointing sequels I have ever read. And one of the worst things about it was all the unnecessary different places (inevitably where Kvothe would pick up another skill, then be on his merry, ambling way).

Hope you enjoyed that very random post- my cold-smothered brain thought was a good idea… What books do you think suffer from book travelling syndrome? Let me know in the comments!

Worst Fantasy Novel Plan- EVER!

*Lovingly made for all fantasy fans*

Ever wonder how cliche fantasy books get written? Well wonder know more, because this is the ultimate guide for writing the WORST fantasy novel imaginable! Enjoy!

Before we get started we need a prologue about *mysterious forces* at work. It must be overladen with plenty of pathetic fallacy- make sure that wind roars and rain falls- you set that tone! Please note that this can’t have any actual bearing on the plot, because that would be daft. Instead, let’s flashback 10000 years, before the dawn of mankind, to where a magical talking rook-creature-thing lived. There- that seems sufficiently random and obscure. Now we can forget all about that and get to the actual plot…

*****

Welcome to the village of Farplace where nothing ever happens and say hello to this random farmhand Nut M Portant (Nut for short). He doesn’t have many hobbies, except horse riding, being the only person around who practices sword fighting with a staff, and visiting the old guy with the long white beard who lives on the edge of the village (watch out- he’s gonna be important). Also he spends a lot of time complaining how bored he is.

But then!- lo and behold- something dark and evil and wolflike (but with a human voice for convenience sake) comes to the village late at night and kills the Nut’s father, who, with his dying breath tells him to go to the old guy for help. It turns out that old guy is an important wizard known as The Last Wizard Standing (didn’t see that plot twist coming, did you?).

Yet Last Wizard is not feeling particularly helpful right now. He sends Nut on his way *immediately* without giving him any information or guidance, just an old sword.

Also at the same time an elven woman with an unpronounceable name (something like llwellgenlle). She’s from an order of Only Women-No Men Allowed (seriously keep out!) comes to the village seeking the slayer of the wolfthing (shall we just call Swargs- from the old tongue title meaning It’s A Warg- and be done with it?) She’s totally not allowed relations with ANY MAN- which means she’s perfect for a prospective love interest.

Nut runs into said love interest just as he’s coming out of Last Wizard’s hut. He is instantly struck by her beauty. Conveniently- for the sake of the plot- a Swarg pounces just as they cross paths- but Nut really easily smites the beast! (very important to note here Nut’s amazement as he’s never handled anything more than a practice sword before). The female falls into his arms in a swoon.

“Hail fair maiden, I thee help!” he says to her (note: always mess up the syntax for conversations- we don’t want the dialogue to be too comprehensible).

She responds in her native tongue (he understands- naturally- even though till now he’s only spoken “common”- keep up!) (any and all translations must be done by the reader using the helpfully provided dictionary in the glossary)

“Ah fair maiden!” Nut goes on in common, for the reader’s sake. “Never fear- I have thee saved, thou wilst now be my love interest and have no need to speak at all, except for the occasional incomprehensible word, you are most welcome.”

Last Wizard comes out of his house and applauds. “That was all a test- congratulations!- you’re not dead- that means you passed!”

Yay! That’s a relief, isn’t it? As we let that sink in, Last Wizard explains that he has some very important information (though he’s shaky on the details cos *reasons*) pertaining to a quest because of a prophecy that he can’t remember the exact details of…

“Prophecy? What prophecy?” Nut asks, emboldened by Last Wizard Standing’s words.

“Prophecy- oh er- mumble bumble… Yes it’s important… but I think the soup’s burning…”

Okay so that’s enough explanation. I think it’s a good time for the Priestess/Elf/Love Interest to announce she was looking for him too- so she’s joining the quest as well. And it’s probably a good time to infodump about why she thinks it’s important to save the world- something about the trees talking and the origins of Village Farplace came and some crucially-non-crucial stuff about magical creatures… (be sure to include as much of your world-building notes as possible here- you never know how many opportunities you’ll get and you must make the most of every. single. one.)

Alrighty then, time for the quest! Make sure to bring this forgetful wizard along for the ride, but make sure he forgets anything expedient when asked and only use his powers when you’ve written yourself into a particularly tight scrape you can’t get out of with logic (it happens). You now have the perfect plot-foil. You’re welcome 😉

Where are we going? Who knows! How long will it take to get there? Doesn’t matter! Just make sure to include these landmarks on the journey:

• A secret cache of weapons in a not-at-all well-hidden tomb (make sure to describe weaponry and helms in excruciating detail)
• A very beautiful, peaceful place they can rest (but not live in permanently) that’s home to the elves- preferable to visit after a run-in with some more swargs and norcs (not orcs- keep up!)

• An inn where they drink yummy yummy mead (actually I have had this at a fair once and can confirm it’s pretty darn good, so I get why people in fantasy drink it now, but I digress…)
• A place where “natives” live- description is blanked out for offensiveness (no I didn’t actually write this bit, what do you take me for?) Here they learn important *lessons* they never thought they would from *insert ambiguous term* people.
• You can also pad out this section with creatures like: A dragon with a hoard, some friendly dwarves, sex goddesses, a thieves guild, a rebellion, goblins, riddlers, ents, basically anything from Tolkien you’ve not managed to rip off yet.

Please insert intermittent exposition because, as the author, I’ve done all this work on the world building and you need to hear all of it damn it!

Finally they arrive in scary, scary Ochaye- which is supposed to be the villains’ lair, but this early into the story you’ll only get a projection of him. We have the opportunity to drop lots of very mysterious truth bombs like “I killed your parents… something… lost prince… something something… chosen one.”

That sort of thing- make sure it whets the appetite, but doesn’t actually reveal anything too expedient this early in the story. Oh- did I mention- this is obviously going to be the start of a series (of an indeterminate number of books). But don’t worry- you won’t get a sequel for years cos this is a fantasy… Annnd I’m leaving it there.  The projection of the baddie disappears in a cloud of smoke. I’m sure I’ll continue this one day, but in typical fantasy fashion I’m gonna go focus on writing something else now. (Maybe an anthology of all the backstory I couldn’t squeeze in…)

Voila- you now have a terrible fantasy novel! Leave it for three years, let your readers stew, and come back when they’ve lost interest.