6000 Followers?! (OMG How Did That Happen?)

celebration monkey

Eek/Ook… I hit 6000 followers last week??? (and I’m kinda still in shock) Thank you all so much for following and sticking around!! It means so much to me!!

orangutan thank you

To celebrate, I thought it might be fun to do something a little different and react to your assumptions about me (like the videos on Youtube). Since I’ve been around a while (five years?!?!) I figure you might have some good ones! (well, good or utterly nerve-wracking depending on what people come up with 😉) Whoever wants to participate can leave a comment with their assumption and I’ll add it to a post 😀 And that’s it! You can let me have it! What are your assumptions about me? (she says internally quaking 😉)

5000 followers freak out and giveaway!

So this absolutely bananas thing happened and I’m just lost for words: somehow I hit 5000 followers?! I mean, I’m kinda supposed to come up with things to say for everything and all I’ve got ?!?!??!?!?HJDFJHDH????!… which roughly translates to OH-MY-GAWD-THIS-IS-CRAZY-I-AM-ETERNALLY-GRATEFUL!!!!

eternally grateful aliens.png

This all down to you guys being so wonderful and as a thank you I’ve decided to host a quick giveaway, where two of you lovely people can win a book of your choosing worth upto £15 on Bookdepository. That’s right- two winners! To enter, just click on the link below…

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The giveaway will run from now until the 4th of August and the winners contacted shortly after. It is open to anyone who lives in a country where book depository can deliver to (all other terms and conditions are available on rafflecopter)

I guess all that’s left to say is good luck and another MASSIVE THANK YOU!

orangutan thank you

3000 followers? Reverse Q&A!

So a couple of days ago I hit 3000 followers and I’m still in a state of shock to be honest. It still amazes me that anyone reads my blog at all! Massive thank you and much love to you all!


I wanted to do a fun little post in celebration and since I’d like this to be more about *you* than me- which is why I’m doing a reverse Q&A. I’ve devised some really important questions as well 😉 Starting with:

  1. What’s your favourite kind of cheese?
  2. Are you more of a DNFer or a power-through-to-the-end kind of reader?
  3. If you were the world’s worst superhero, what would your superpower be?
  4. Who is your biggest bookish hero?
  5. What movie mashup would you most like to see?
  6. What’s the best thing about summer?
  7. What would your perfect summer day be like?
  8. And finally, don’t think, tell me the first summery book that pops into your mind!

Let me know your answers in the comments!

2000 Followers?! This Calls for a GIVEAWAY!

thank you for 2000 followers.gif

Yeahhh I don’t even know how to express what I’m feeling right now- I figure this should give you an idea…

jim carrey celebrating.gif

Seriously *thank you* to each and every one of you for following along and making the blogosphere an amazing place to be!

In celebration I’ve decided to do a little giveaway, where you can win a book of your choosing  worth upto £15 on Bookdepository. To enter, just click on the link below…

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The giveaway will run until midnight on the 31st of October (GMT London local time) and I’ll contact the winner shortly after. It is open to anyone who lives in a country where book depository can deliver to (all other terms and conditions are available on rafflecopter)

Good luck! And thanks a million!

Q&A Part 3 – The Cat Edition

Hello again- it’s been what, a few hours? Did you miss me? Just here to conclude my Q&A in a post that talks an awful lot about cats. Anyhoo, please do check out all the lovely people who asked questions and feel free to check out parts 1 and 2.


I would ask you if you’ve ever been to the states?

Sadly only as a layover (and btw my only impression was that the security is super strict, they took my fingerprints just for the privilege of going from one end of the airport to the other and grilled me about whether I wanted to stay forever…)

Is orangutan your favourite animal?

Well… This confession might get me in trouble, but my actual favourite animal is an ocelot. And also CATSSS in general

orangutan and ocelot

Which makes sense if you think about it, cos it’d be silly if it was an orangutan- like a human whose fave animal was a human…

Have you ever been to a book expo and/or met one of your favourite authors?

I’ve never had the chance to go to a book expo, BUT I was actually really lucky as a child that quite a few authors came to the schools I went to- the best one was the author of the Noughts and Crosses series Malorie Blackman

Malorie Blackman  June 2008

Also, can I come visit?

Haha sure, if you’re ever in London hit me up and we’ll go for tea 😉

42 is the meaning of life eh? Why 42?

Hehe and yes, Daley kindly answered, but just to clarify- 42 is the meaning of life according to Douglas Adams


What is your deepest, darkest secret? The one you swore a blood oath to never reveal. Because we want to know.
*the following is to be said in Valley Girl accent*
“And we’re obviously WAY more important than some blood oath, duh!”

Hahaha well I have to confess now and this relates to my mentioning of CATSSS before- I have been harbouring a fugitive- meet Cecil the Lion:


cecil the lion 2.png

I am so full of pride that I managed to keep it a secret for this long, but I suppose the cat’s out of the bag now… (yes I did just share that so I could make that joke #noshame)


What countries / cities would you like to visit ?

I’d really really like to go to Athens is at the top of my list right now (so maybe I’ll get to go in a few years 😉 )


Not really a question but would you share MORE about your WIP? Like, a snippet, a sentence or anything?! 

Haha I’m so stingy with info about my WIP, I just get too nervous about sharing anything, but here’s a pithy line from the last chapter I edited:

“Power was a treasure trove and all politics was piracy”

What’s your favourite animal ?


JK but as you may have noticed from my early cat-related comments, I do really like CATTTS, specifically ocelots.

What’s one thing that other people do that you can’t stand?

Ask me if I’ve been blessed by the beautiful light that is JC… and by that I mean Jeremy Corbyn (hello Corbynistas- please can you stop spamming me- thanks!) So yeah, annoying political spammers…

jeremy corbyn.png
Adding this picture in because spammers actually got the original meme taken down 😂

Did you think you’d blog for so long? 

To be honest, I *never* thought I would fall in love with blogging like this. When I first started I was blogging I wrote a post a month and just thought I’d review books every so often.


If you were shipwrecked on a desert island and the waves were about to wash away the complete collection of Terry Pratchett’s books and you only had time to save one, which would it be?

mort nice edition

OH GOD SO HARD!! I’m gonna go with Mort, but I’m so tempted to say Going Postal or arghhh see what I mean, hard!

Also, if you weren’t an orang-utan what other creature would you like to be? (mooses are pretty awesome)

Hahaha moose are awesome! I think this post might be getting feline heavy- so I’m gonna pick a penguin. I mean check out their waddle 😉



If you had to compare yourself to a fictional character, who would it be and why?

Well I always think something of a cross between Luna Lovegood and Alice

Do you have a favorite recipe for bananas? 

I like banana bread but I am a horrible horrible baker.

What is something that the blogging community does not know about you?

Haha today is just full of confessions, isn’t it? Hmm some people are actually surprised to find out I like dresses (oh and I’m also a girl, not everyone knows that)

orangutan in dress


What book describes you best? (Is it a particular character, the cover or the story?) Oh and it would be super cool if you could draw something for your super reveal post!

isla and the happily ever after

Hard question! I think I find more in common with characters, rather than stories or covers. I’ve already mentioned Luna and Alice, but I think someone else who I really relate to is Isla from Isla and the Happily Ever After. And even though the story doesn’t really describe my life (I mean, there is a distinct absence of bananas) I feel like I’d have done *a lot* of the same things in her position.

(I also hope I fulfilled the drawing requirement 😉 )

So that’s all for today- hope you enjoyed these Q&As- I certainly enjoyed making them! And now I want to know what is *your* favourite animal? And how do you feel about CATSSS? Let me know in the comments!

Q&A Part 2 – Books and Weirdness Edition

Hello all- I’m back with part 2 of my Q&A. In case you missed it Part 1 is here and I’ve linked to all of the *awesome* bloggers who provided questions, so please do check them out!!

And cos there was an awful lot for one post- I’ve ended up putting the last set of Qs and As into one more post for this afternoon! Trust me, you won’t wanna miss that one 😉


If you wrote an autobiography what would you call it?

Confessions of a Bananaholic


What colour are Orangutans? Orange or Ginger?


If you were given the chance to rewrite a book which book would you choose and why?


Hmm this one’s pretty hard- but I’d probably pick one of those dreadful dragon-but-not-really-a-dragon books like Talon- I’d just make them act like *actual* dragons. (You know, eat hunters instead of falling in love with them)

If you could punch an author in the face which author would you choose and why?

Hahaha what a question!! Well I don’t want to punch any author in the face, but can I pick someone like Chairman Mao or Hitler since they technically wrote books? Or maybe a Hitler apologist like Roald Dahl (yeah I think I might have just ruined some people’s childhood…)

Snog, marry, avoid and the choices are Jeremy Corbyn, Theresa May or Turtle face himself Nigel Farage!

Eww what a question! Okay… so I actually asked advice on how to answer this one, cos I was stumped, and they said just go in age order, which means…

snog marry avoid.png

Snog Farage, marry May, and avoid Corbyn. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve just thrown up in my mouth a little…


If you could change the ending to one particular book, which book would it be and how would you rewrite the ending?

Well I’m gonna resurrect my Marauder’s fangirl stage and bring Sirius Black back to life


If you could create an entirely new genre of books, novels and all things readable and glorious, what would it be

Orangutan steampunk-fantasy crossover 😉


For some reason, I can’t think of any questions. My mind is blank.
Actually, my question is what do you do when your mind is blank and you’re stuck at a work cocktail party where you MUST talk to other orangutans?

Hehehe well I’m actually a rather chatty ape- when I get excited I talk, when I’m bored I talk, when I’m nervous I talk… you get the idea. Here are some actual conversation topics I’ve talked about at work dos:

  • Lucid dreaming
  • Why are there no medium sized models?
  • Places I’d like to visit
  • Internet strangeness
  • Politics (on second thoughts *don’t* do this one- it never ends well…)


Which book character makes you so angry that you want to punch them in the face/throw the book against the wall/feed them vomit-flavoured Bertie Botts beans, etc?


Humbert Humbert hands down. He deserves to eat nothing but vomit flavoured Bertie Botts beans forever (FYI Lolita still holds the record for “book I threw against the wall the most times”)


My question is: What was the last book you gave 5 stars to and why? 

six of crows

Just looking at this sexy book makes me want to read the second one- WHY IS THE POST SO SLOW!!! (seriously I feel a bit like a drug addict waiting for my next fix right now)

Well hope you enjoyed that craziness!! See you all again very soon!!


Q&A Part 1 – The Happy Ice Cream Edition

Hello all!! Phew- I’ve been so lousy with blogging lately- I do hope to rectify that asap- but in the meantime, here’s my promised Q&A! Well the first part at least- I found it was much too much for one post, so I split them up.

Thank you so so much for the absolutely incredible questions!! All the questions are linked up to the bloggers- do check them out- they’re all amazing!!


I would love to know what your perfect day looks like!

sunny beach

What a wonderful question! I’m not sure exactly- but it would probably involve a sunny beach, a book and lots and lots of ice cream!! And fireworks!


I’d love to know what your favourite historical period is and what your perfect reading nook would look like 

Definitely the roaring 20s! And something like this…

reading nook


If you had the ability to write like any author, who would you choose?

Hard one! Well since we’re talking *any* author I would choose to be (or not to be) Shakespeare- forsooth why not? I may as well pick the best author of all time!

Also, would you rather bungee jump or go sky diving?

Hahaha well that’s a scary question for an acrophobic!! I don’t think I could ever jump out of a plane- so bungee jumping (though I hope I never have to do either!!!)


What is your favourite ice cream flavour?


ice cream

What is the book that hooked you into reading?

Harry Potter- the most standard answer ever 😉


If you could build the perfect home library with unlimited funds what would it look like?



Why do you blog? How did you start and what keeps you going?

Well I started it to rant about Captain Corelli’s Mandolin… And I continued cos it ended up being so much fun and I met so many wonderful people doing it- you guys are the best!!


What is your fave number?

22 because my friends and I were stalked by it for a year… (ooh scary I know :p )


If you could be a plant which one would you be and why?

Haha I have no idea- a rose maybe cos get prickly sometimes 😉

ba dum tish

If the supply of bananas ran out what would you do?


Why Orangutan?

Well if you’re asking how I came up with the name, I based it on Ook from Discworld. But if you’re asking why on a more metaphysical level, it’s because I *am* an orangutan 😉

Provided the Mars colonisation comes to plan, would you go live on Mars or stay on Earth, why?


Haha there is NO WAY I would go to Mars- I’ve read the Martian! Mostly cos I’m too busy trying to convince my enemies to go 😉 (you know standard “it’ll be great, you’ll have an amazing time, we can communicate by skype maybe…”)

If you could time travel what year or decade would you go to live in for 5-10 years?

Ha- well I already used up my 20s answer- so the 60s! The music was ace! Also the fashion was better than the 70s- I mean look at this craziness:

70 fashion

If you could genetically modify humans, what new ‘ability’ would you choose to give humans?

Telekinesis- cos then I’d never have to say “pass the remote” again.


If you could only eat one dessert for the rest of your life, what would it be?

banana split

Banana split- no word of a lie it’s my favourite- it has all the best things- especially ice cream (life is better with ice cream)


What’s your favorite letter of the alphabet?


Which seat do you choose when booking a flight?

Preferably one far away from everyone else 😉 JK I usually let the airline decide- I’m not really fussed

Skirt or shorts?

Shorts! (maybe just cos I have these awesome ones from banana republic that I’m loving right now)

What’s your favourite crisps flavour?

Okay- so this is a very British thing and all the Europeans are gonna say “ewww” but salt and vinegar crisps (one problem when you’re travelling is you can never find them *anywhere*) So yeah, the way to my heart is through a bag of these:

snack a jacks


What’s the strangest book title you’ve ever come across?

So I had to google that and this is what I found (among other things):

Smooth peanut butter or crunchy peanut butter?

Hmm smooth, but I don’t really mind crunchy on occasion. It’s not like juice with pulp 😉

If you could travel to any place right now, and money was not a problem, which one would it be?

Hong Kong!


Okay I think that’s a nice note to end on for now- I still have *loads* of awesome questions to get through- so stay tuned for more! And let me know in the comments what your favourite flavour of ice cream is!

Happy Tuesday!!

Well hello lovelies!! I hope you’re all having a wonderful start to the week! I have to say I’m in a fantastic mood for two reasons:

  • The weather is *glorious* right now! I’ve been soaking up as much of this rare glimpse of the sun as possible!!
  • I reached 1500 followers!!!

I just wanted to say a quick THANK YOU to everyone that’s following me- it really means a lot!!

thank you cat

And cos I haven’t done one of these in well over a year, I thought I’d do a chill Q&A to celebrate. So yeah, this is your opportunity to ask me all those soul-searching questions like “What is the meaning of life?” and “is the moon really made of cheese?” (in answer to those- 42 and yes). No question is too silly or too serious (though silly questions are preferred 😉 ) Just write your questions in the comments and I’ll answer in another post!


(any excuse to use this image and I’ll do it)

So ask away!!

Saturnalia… And The Winner Is…


So I’m totally rubbish at getting round to doing these things- so much so that I’m finishing doing this roundup now when I’ve reached 1100 followers and owe you all another *MASSIVE* THANK YOU!!

In case you don’t know I ran a little celebration, which I called a Saturnalia, for getting to 1000 followers. I did a couple of comedic posts- Why Satire Is Evil, How It Should Have Ended, The Existential Crisis of Goodnight Moon– which I hope you enjoyed. And I ran a little contest for your comic pieces. So now, without further ado, I’m delighted to announce that the winner is… *drumroll please*…

Bookstooge with his hilarious review of the Tropic of Serpents!! His blog is so cool- with amazing and well-thought out reviews of a variety of books- I highly recommend you CHECK IT OUT!!!

And thank you all so much for your continued support and for making the blogosphere so incredible- I love you guys! See you all in the next post!

Announcements and MASSIVE THANK YOU!!!

So last week this happened….


I think you can probably imagine the squeals, but just in case, here’s an idea…..


I am absolutely chuffed that this happen and just want to say a MASSIVE *thank you* to all of you!!

So announcing a little something I’m calling:


(yes, yes I know historically speaking this would have been in December- but it’s not like the Romans can call me out for being culturally insensitive…)

So just for a bit of background, the Saturnalia was the winter solstice in Ancient Rome, and was typically a time of partying, gift giving and for everything going a little topsy turvy- masters became slaves and slaves became masters! Free speech and satire ruled the roost! (Whoop!!)

In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve already started with a little satire of my own… And because I love comedy, I thought I’d do a little contest to encourage you to all write and share *your* own comedy and satire. This can be something you’ve published before or something new- it’s upto you! And it can be written or cartoons (because I know there are some talented cartoonists out there on the blogosphere). All you have to do is link to this post or comment down below with a link to your post!

Prizes: The prize will be a book (or two, if you can manage it) worth upto £15 on Bookdepository for the best entry and being featured on this blog. If there are enough entrants there may be a second place prize.

Conditions: This contest will be open until 12:00 GMT on 3rd February 2017 and is open to any country that Book Depository ships to- the full list can be found here. Prizes cannot be shipped to PO Boxes. You have to be over 18 or have the permission of your parents to give me details such as your full name and address (none of which will be shared). The final decision will be made by me.

Annnd I think that’s all the legal shmeagle stuff. Hopefully it’ll be a bit of fun and I look forward to seeing your posts!

Right now I’m off travelling, so don’t panic if I don’t reply to your comments/posts, but there will be a couple of (hopefully) amusing little posts while I’m away- TTFN!