The Iron Throne Did Not Sit Well with Me (RANT)

 

*Disclaimer: this post comes with SALT and SPOILERS*

salt0007

I might have to do a Drogon. Ya know, I’ve just watched the thing I love get stabbed to death, so I’m gonna have me a little meltdown. Cos I. Am. Not. Happy.

Actually, to be fair, Drogon had the most sophisticated character arc in this whole darn series- though they did try with a few of the others. Dany so easily could have had an interesting descent into villainy and they made a compelling argument for her going mad after the fact. They also had a poetic reference back to her vision, where it’s explicitly shown she was the destructive force all along.

That’s nice and all- it’s just a shame they had to butcher Jon’s character in the process. We’re talking about a character that’s always known right from wrong, who has just witnessed someone murdering a million civilians and he still goes “yOu’lL aLWaYs Be My QuEen.” Yeahhh doesn’t stop him killing her- as I’ve long suspected. And to be fair to the cinematographers and everyone involved, it couldn’t have been more visually stunning. There’s even a beautifully poetic callback to “love is the death of duty”:

duty is the death of love

So why am I so unhappy with it? Well, glad you asked (though I’m sure you’re about to be sorry you did). Because after this beautifully shot scene and exquisitely executed moment, we fade to black, skip a few weeks annnnd then the story goes to shit. Because guess who gets to be king?

*Drumroll please* iiiiiit’s… Bran? Ugh. When I said Bran was underused, I DIDN’T MEAN THIS! Although at least I understand why the actor that plays Bran was the most vocal in saying don’t rewrite the ending 😉 (not that I’m signing any petitions). In all seriousness, it couldn’t have been a worse choice. Now, I know I’ve made no secret of my bias against him (I think he’s boring at best) BUT I have *a lot* of reasons beyond this general dislike to explain why this is a terrible idea.

For starters, this is what I feared the most: the writers choosing a patsy puppet ruler for *shock value*. This is clearly evidenced by the fact none of the reasons for doing so were logical- including the “no one is very happy which means it’s a good compromise I suppose” argument- a point always used to justify terrible decisions. To explain why that’s bad, I’ve done a little diagram:

happy or sad ending diagram

(apologies for butchering scatter diagrams to make my point 😉 )

To put it another way- going with No One Saw That Coming ending is wholly unsatisfying. It doesn’t fit with the *years* of Game of Thrones wisdom that someone who is fit to rule must be both clever and noble. It doesn’t exactly go with the underlying moral that awful things happens when some undeserving sod gets too much power. They try to convince us in double-quick-time that he will be a good ruler… because he immediately does a King Robert and abdicates all the dull responsibilities of ruling- YE WOT MATE?! Oh of course, because the fundamental message of the show is “the king can do what he wants” *insert all the sarcasm*.  

And on the topic of abdicating responsibility, you’re seriously telling me that the Lords and Ladies of Westeros will be on board with him for a ruler?! Apart from being the perfect person to sit in a chair (too far? I don’t care!) why would anyone support this useless prick? BRAN HAS NEVER BEEN IN CHARGE OF SO MUCH AS A GRAIN STORE! He doesn’t inspire loyalty- in fact he’s been a pretty diabolical when you think about it…

he's not the messiah

Because the one thing that supposedly qualifies him to rule is that he’s an all-knowing mystical magician figure. Only problem there is HE LITERALLY KNEW DANY WOULD MURDER A BUNCH OF PEOPLE AND HE LET HER DO IT SO HE COULD GET THE THRONE! He is complicit in mass murder!! WTF? If Jon is apparently no longer a valid choice, because he killed the raving lunatic that butchered a city, how in the hell is Bran suitable when he did nothing to stop the destruction of King’s Landing?! The little creep has been playing some effed up 4D chess, where he manipulated Jon into revealing his heritage, and then screwed him over.

making evil plans bran.png

And don’t give me that “he doesn’t want it” crap- the real reason Bran said “I will never be lord of anything” appears to be cos he was thinking “hahaha cos I’m gonna steal the throne from the rightful heir! Suckers!” Oh, what clever foreshadowing! *insert yet more sarcasm*. Again, this foreshadowing is the writers not bothering to actually do some damn character development, just putting a wink and a nod for their dumbass plans.

Also, Bran’s story sucked. No storyteller would think he’s the obvious choice. If you’re trying to find a legitimate ruler, maybe go for the guy who has the most legitimate claim AND put down the last bonkers ruler. Ya know, the guy whose story has come full circle and fulfilled his character arc. Think Henry Tudor coming in from nowhere and winning the war of the Roses cos he’s secretly the heir.

Now I do get some of the reasons to crown Jon. Truth be told, I was expecting him to abdicate in favour of a council and go north anyway. And there are some nice parallels with Jaime (ie not getting credit for doing the right thing) buuuut anyone with eyes will admit the way they concluded his story is insane. They’ve really done the dirty on his character. Let’s break down why:

  1. They removed all his agency by not making it HIS CHOICE.
  2. He didn’t even have an effing trial!! Psycho Bran doesn’t even try to get him off the hook!
  3. All the notes Varys sent out to reveal Jon’s heritage are never brought up. Why? BECAUSE FUCK YOU THAT’S WHY! (seriously, I am sick and tired of this technique that “you’ve been paying attention, you know what’s going on, so we’re gonna reward you with… A STORY THAT MAKES NO SENSE!” Thanks for slapping logic in the face I guess.)

I genuinely would’ve preferred the whole democracy ending- even if I thought it was trite and inaccurate for the time period. It literally couldn’t have been worse than this. Sansa had the right idea about getting out of there pronto (and Sophie Turner was right in bracing us all for disappointment). Seriously, she had one of the only ending I was satisfied with, because at least she’s proven a worthy ruler.

Oh, and Ghost finally got his pat on the head (we waited 3 episodes for that!) Which brings us back full circle to the fact that this had so many fantastic elements, so why oh why did it have to end like this? I didn’t want or need a happy ending- I was geared up for bittersweet as promised. If anything, this was too stupidly saccharine for words. Daft in a way that undermines so much of what had come before. So yeah after that criticise the LOTR ending again- I DARE YOU!

Sorry for all my RAGE- I might be over this in a few years (my wounds hopefully salved by GRRM’s book maybe?) but until then I’m going to sink into a depressed stupor take time to cool off. I was planning on doing predictions for the books, but there’s not enough room here and I think I’ve blown all my energy on this post. So, you’ll have to put up with one last GOT related post 😉

Alright, did you love it or hate it? Let me have it in the comments!