heartbreak – the orang-utan librarian

Falling out of love is like coming off a crack addiction… or so I’ve been told. I’ve only ever experienced the former- so I can definitely attest to the fact heartbreak is no joke. Which is why I have written this very, very serious post 😉 Now, you can go online and find lots of (sensible) suggestions on how to work through your heartache by writing lists, analysing, rethinking your entire existence… but this isn’t going to be anything like that. No, this is going to be practical advice you can put into action *starting right now*- you’re welcome! 😉

#STEP 1: Wallow in music. Go on- fish out an old mixed tape or put on Spotify or do whatever you cool kids do these days to listen to your favourite jam. Then get into a starfish position on your bed, ready to do some serious moping. Wailing along with the most mournful tunes is essential, so make sure the neighbours are out (if you like them). Do not- and I repeat *do not*- get out of your pyjamas at this stage! It could be detrimental to your recovery!

#STEP 2: Nibble on chocolate. At this point, you should be beginning to move out of your corpse pose and into a foetal position. Which means you can begin to take in some sustenance to keep you going for the next few stages. A few chocolate raisins should do the trick. Bear in mind, you are just working up an appetite for stage 3…

#STEP 3: Gorge on ice cream! Well done!! You’ve made it the crucial point in your recovery that will be vital to your survival! You should now be able to sit upright (even if you still can’t see straight from crying). You have permission to do this while reading over old texts, watching rom coms and screaming “WHY” into the aether (none of which are essential, they are merely optional- whatever keeps you going until you’ve finished all the tubs of ice cream in your freezer).

#STEP 4: You should probably take a shower. It’s been a while.

#STEP 5: get out of those raggedy jim-jams and into your raggedy gym clothes! It’s time to do some exercise! No, don’t look at me like that- this isn’t some cruel and unusual punishment. Science says exercise gives you endorphins and endorphins make you happy- so go get yourself some endorphins! It doesn’t really matter what you do: yoga, punching things, walking the dog or all of the above- whatever works to get the blood flowing!

#STEP 6: get creative! Paint a picture, write a series of poems, bake a cake (or 20)- do whatever you need to get those juices flowing! You’ve got to get all that angst out of your system somehow.

#STEP 7: refill the well– whether that’s going on dates or reading books or watching movies. Because you’re almost there with your healing journey (and all those emotional beats will never feel sharper… so you may as well feel them now).

#STEP 8: get busy living… whatever that means to you.

#STEP 9: Write a list on the internet about how to heal a broken heart (where you really struggle because you can’t even remember what you did and what it felt like because my goodness was it that long ago?)

And that’s all I’ve got for today! Do you have any (better) tips you can add? Let me know in the comments!

So, you’ve had your heart broken and you don’t know where to turn and you fuzzy tear-filled mind thinks, how about a nice book? But they’re all happy, clappy romances and you don’t know what to do- well I’ve got you covered for every mood you can be in post-break-up or heartbreak.

One True Loves– plaintively capturing themes of love and loss, this unusual contemporary shines a light on the concept of “one true love”. Perhaps, after all, it is possible to have more than one 😉

Song of Achilles– if what you need is a good cry, then my goodness this book has you covered! *Be warned* though, this romantic retelling of Achilles and Patroclus, may break your heart all over again.

Noughts and Crosses– of course I had to include this star-crossed lovers alternate history! It’s the ultimate heartbreaker!

A Man Called Ove– a book about coping, or struggling to cope, with the loss of love in the later stages of life. This story let’s us know that love, hope and happiness can be found in even the most unlikely of places. It isn’t always easy, but it is ultimately uplifting.

Wuthering Heights– hauntingly romantic, this romance is so dysfunctional that, at the very least, it won’t have you envying the leads 😉

Tess of the D’Urbervilles– for those wanting to revel in heartbreak, then this is the book for you. Tragic and painful, this story proves that even angels can break your heart 😉 A dark picture of romance, Hardy writes of broken innocence and the cruelty of love.

Second Chance Summer– an emotional read, this YA contemporary is about getting second chance in romance and familial love. Because sometimes we need a little hope.

The Road Trip– on that note, this sweet romance can definitely serve as a pick-me-up. As is a frequent feature of Beth O’Leary books, this story moves from a painful situation to finding happiness, as we get to see former lovers reunite on an unexpected journey. There’s heart-breaking moments for sure- yet it all works out in the end!

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before– speaking of happier heartbreak stories, this is fundamentally a story about first love and falling out of love. It shows us that maybe the person we aren’t supposed to be with a fantasy. And maybe the universe has something far greater waiting just around the corner. After all, not all books about heartbreak have to end in tears.

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone– a book for healing, this is the memoir of a therapist as she goes through her own therapy. At its heart, it focuses on Gottlieb’s own breakup and the deeply personal lessons learnt from it. Lessons that can be applied to our own troubles and heartbreaks (spoil alert: it goes deeper than just calling her ex a dog… which is a conclusion you may or may not reach on your own 😉)

It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken– there had to be at least one of those popular self-help titles on this list 😉 I promise it’s a good one! Even in the throes of depression, this book will make you laugh and feel *a lot* better about your heartache. Partly thanks to a sense of schadenfreude (I found myself going “well at least I didn’t do that!” numerous times), partly thanks to the comforting advice (with a heavy dose of what notto do) and mostly thanks to the ways it points out that the failed relationship was most likely shit anyway. With its personal stories of going through a breakup and coming out the other side, this book can help anyone going a hard time.

And that’s all for now! Have you read any of the books on this list? Do you have any heartbreak books to add? Let me know in the comments!