Disenchanted Failed to Enchant Me: Rewriting a Classic

I have to admit I’m not often charmed by (often unnecessary) sequels- BUT when I saw Disney were making a follow up to Enchanted, I was SOLD. Sadly, it didn’t quite have the magic of the original. As much as I LOVED the idea of playing with fairy tale tropes, fighting the stereotypical roles we find ourselves in, this was only ever close to being great instead of reaching actual greatness. What saddens me the most is how much more scope there was to explore the concept of being forced to be a wicked stepmother- simply because that’s what the story demands. I just *wish* this story could’ve been given the chance to shine!

… which is precisely why, instead of writing a standard review, I’m going to rewrite what I think should’ve happened in this movie (this is a story about wish fulfilment after all 😉) So hold onto your pumpkins, cos I’m about to bibbidi bobbidi boo this whole thing! (mice beware: I may be using a bit too much cheese 😉)

We’ll start in a similar way to the movie- setting the scene of the new life away from New York. Except I wouldn’t simply have them moving out to the suburbs to get more space- but focus on moving for a better life. That way, moving from New York can be for the benefit of all the characters. Giselle as the mother/stepmother is thinking of creating a proper home for them all, Robert as princely leader is stagnating in his life and Morgan as the stepdaughter has big dreams (which incidentally the movie doesn’t seem to be interested in exploring- we never get to see what this character actually wants!!) In the short term, Morgan will be leaving her friends behind (which we should be shown rather than told) however in the long term, she will be able to get the future she wants (perhaps by moving to a better school with more opportunities!) Of course, for the sake of conflict, Morgan doesn’t see that and is resistant to any type of change- even if it’s in her own interest. Leading, of course, to the big fight where Morgan calls her StEPmOthEr… Oooohhhhh…

Now of course that’s just the setup- jumping right into the catalyst where everyone is cursed… I think it would be so much better if they’re all aware of being forced into a fairy tale. Part of the charm of the original was their awareness of the fairy tale playing out in the real world- so why not do something similar here? Imagine how it would add to the comedy if everyone was singing and dancing against their will (think: Buffy’s Once More With Feeling).

Having everyone be aware they’re cursed also allows for a lot more conflict! They can all fight it out- knowing Giselle has inadvertently cursed them all (without being aware that Giselle is doomed to be the evil stepmother). Giselle is trying to tell them to make the best of being in their fairy tale roles (paralleling how she told them to make the best of the move) and they’re all compelled to go about their fairy tale day.

Of course, Robert will need a better arc. Determined to be the hero, this part of the movie can explore how he’s dissatisfied in his job, wishing to do something more meaningful (and we can leave out all that dull stuff about the commute). Similar to the plot of the actual film, it makes sense to show him sticking up for the little guy and trying to fight monsters (… I just wish that had some bearing on the ending… )

And if you’ve noticed something missing in my updated version- that’s because there’s something missing! I’ve taken out the pointless villainess. As fun as her musical number was, she definitely felt like a surplus character and her storyline merely bloated up the plot. I’d cut her from the story without hesitation.

That said, I would add *even more* humour! I’d take a leaf out of the Incredibles and have a magical baby giving some much needed comic relief. I wouldn’t just stick her in the cot and palm her off on some fairies, I’d have her wreaking her own havoc with that wand! (although maybe I would include some fairies cos that’s also funny 😉) We can even have a wink at the end for her keeping her magic- because why not? Besides, it’s not like she’s irrelevant to the plot- she’s what ties Giselle and Morgan and Robert together as family.

Now as Giselle turns into an evil stepmother (and Pip into an evil cat) I’d definitely have her make the choice to bring more magic into their world. It’s no good having it simply be a consequence of the spell. It’s far more fun to have Giselle deliberately trying to pull her old world into her new one. Symbolically this shows she’s trying to hold onto who she once was… which Morgan could recognise when everyone else thinks she’s a lost cause.

Thus the story can once again subvert a traditional fairy tale- Giselle is becoming beastly and only Morgan can save her from this final transformation. As the clock runs down, the villagers (led by Robert) want to destroy her, YET it’s Morgan who says she’s not going to let them slay her mother. Deep down, she realises that Giselle only wants what’s best for her. Protecting the Beast gives her a chance to turn back the clock and gives her just a moment to undo the spell to destroy Andalasia. They both have the chance to realise they were wrong and restore familial harmony. It’s not enough for the stepmother to merely say “you are my daughter”- she has to recognise she wasn’t treating her like a daughter to grow from  it. And likewise, the stepdaughter has to realise that she is loved and respect that love. That way they can stop the curse they’ve unleashed together. (See, I told you it was going to get cheesy).

In a lot of ways, I can see this is what Disenchanted was going for. It’s just a shame it got bogged down in some silly plotlines and became a little too convoluted. I’ve patched together something out of the ragged edges that could just pull it together…

But what do you think? Have you seen this movie? Do you think it worked? Or could you see some room for improvement? Let me know in the comments below!

My Ultimate Austen Adaptation Ranking

Last month, I was inspired to reread and rewatch some of the works of Austen. And once I got started, I couldn’t stop. Because, well, it’s Austen. And who doesn’t love knowing there’s going to be a happy ending? However, when it comes to adaptations they are not always guaranteed (as well we know). Which is why I decided to rank these- hopefully if you follow this list you might at least avoid some major disappointment 😉

Obviously, this is not an exhaustive list, since I haven’t watched all the movies and tv series (there’s A LOT!) And I decided that while Mansfield Park is a good adaptation, I’d leave it off this list, since my view will be coloured by the fact I don’t like it much as a story.

Anyhoo, let’s get onto the rankings, shall we?

#13 Persuasion 2022– they didn’t even try with this one. As I discussed in my review it was NOTHING like the original. And it was boring to boot. So yeah, not much of an adaptation.

#12 Sense and Sensibility 1995– *unpopular opinion* I really didn’t like this movie. It just doesn’t capture the magic of the book for me and feels more like lots of other soapy shmultzy Hollywood romances. I must be one of the only people to think this way (given all the accolades its received) but it feels disconnected to the source material for me. Particularly with regard to the casting for the sisters.

#11 Clueless– it’s a great idea… but somehow transposing the story onto Beverley Hills just ruins it for me. I can manage to appreciate Emma in the regency period, but when she’s the modern day equivalent, I find her extremely irritating.

#10 Bridget Jones Diary– I know this isn’t a direct adaptation, but that’s not gonna stop me including it. And unfortunately, simply having Colin Firth is not enough to make me love this movie. I might have been the wrong age for it when it came out and I don’t believe its aged that well.

#9/#8 Persuasion 1995/Persuasion 2007– I’m gonna be lazy and stick these two together. Both of them are fine, but nothing spectacular. WHICH IS WHY WE NEED A GOOD PERSUASION ADAPTATION- GAH!!!

#7 Emma 1996– this is reasonably high simply because I really like the Mr Knightley in this one. It’s nothing special as an adaptation, but I do enjoy watching it.

#6 Emma 2009– I often think the TV versions work better- and this is a good example of that. With plenty of space, there was more of a chance to get the book right. And this version also manages to have quite a bit of passion behind it.

#5 Emma 2020– it’s a shock to me this is so high up the list, considering I didn’t even want to watch it at one point. But this genuinely made me laugh, had *the best* Emma and was a joy to watch. I would’ve even rated it even higher… had it not been for the nosebleed scene.

#4 Pride and Prejudice 2005– gosh this is a very romantic version. It’s not as accurate simply because it’s compressed to fit the run time. But it’s a lovely movie all the same. And Keira Knightley makes an excellent Lizzie Bennet (even if no one could ever believe her plain). Not as sold on Darcy if I’m honest.

#3 Northanger Abbey 2007– this is just such a fun adaptation. I love how they were rather playful with this adaptation- it suits the tone and book so well. It never fails to put me in a good mood and is a pleasure to rewatch.

#2 Sense and Sensibility 2008– not my favourite of the books and yet it ranks so much higher on this list because of how beautifully its done. It brings tears to my eyes every time and captures both the sense and sensibility sides of the story.

#1 Pride and Prejudice 1995– because you simply can’t beat it.

Okay, dare I ask: do you agree or disagree with my ranking? What are your favourite Austen adaptations? And which ones do you dislike? Let me know in the comments!

The Bastardisation of Persuasion

What fresh hell have we entered? Persuasion is, as for many Austen fans, one of my favourite novels. Beautifully romantic and emotionally complex, it is an intensely personal story. And yet, it’s clear that whatever film the producers of 2022’s version wanted to make, it wasn’t an adaptation of Austen’s Persuasion. For many a mere glimpse of the trailer will convince you that this is an unmitigated disaster, but should you need further persuading, read on…

The most glaringly obvious example of how this blatantly disrespects Austen differs from the source material is in the characterisation of Anne. Now, let’s be clear, this boozy, boisterous, snarky woman *is not* Anne Eliot. To be clear, Anne Eliot was such a kind soul that she gives and gives without realising that she’s being taken advantage of. This “Anne” is nothing like that. Almost gleefully aware of how horrible her relatives are and simultaneously resentful of her lot in life, she literally can’t experience the growth of her bookish counterpart, because she knows from the beginning that she made a gigantic mistake and that her family are all pigs. All her lovability and goodness is stripped away so that she can seem more #relatable.

Of course, this change massively disrupts the tone of the whole story. Where the original is a delicate romance of lost love and personal growth, this has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Here, we get to have the lead constantly bitching to the camera about how much she’s being pushed around… which makes very little sense since they recharacterized her into someone who can so clearly stand up for herself. I honestly wondered why she was even in this position, since she clearly didn’t have a kind bone in her body, despite other characters helpfully telling us that she is. But why show when you can have characters monologuing what they think and feel? We may as well have Anne simply inform us that her sister is a narcissist. We may as well have the villain tell us his motivations. And we may as well have the juvenile humour of Anne saying “got much further to fall” followed by a literal fall. Fun. If your version of fun is circus-style antics where the leads wear jam for face paint. Which doesn’t exactly fit with the story. Still who cares, because clearly this is the only way to appeal to a modern audience, right?

Speaking of which, all the dialogue is modern and cringey as hell. I’m sure you’ve already heard that this bastardised version of Austen contains the line: “We’re worse than strangers. We’re exes.” A line “so good” that they decided to follow it up with “now we’re worse than exes. We’re friends.” I swear, it’s actually more gagworthy in the context of the film. Yet in case you’re still not convinced how utterly awful this writing is, allow me to give you a few other choice quotes:

“I am an empath.”

“He’s a ten. I never trust a ten.”

“Sucking my own face.”

All lines you can be sure were straight out of an Austen novel… if you’ve never actually read an Austen novel.

Which brings me onto yet another complaint. And that’s the way this treats the historical context. And I’m going to skirt right over the issue of rewriting the past into a magical anti-racist haven and point out some of the other more obvious problems. Like having Anne shouting “vivre la revolution!” and joking about Marie Antoinette getting her head cut off. I know someone somewhere thought this would be a clever and fun way to differentiate Anne from her snobby relatives… but did any of these people ever think to research the time period? Because no, even a rebellious lady (which incidentally Anne is decidedly not in the books) wouldn’t be cheering on the mass murder of their peers in a foreign country. And yet they were so vested in this idea that they decided to stick Anne in a beret- perhaps as some symbolic gesture of protest to the idea of making an adaptation in the first place. While the writers clearly think they are showing off a certain amount of progressiveness to praise the bloodbath of the French Revolution, it merely shows their extreme ignorance and disdain for history. As much as it might be fun to watch a hungover lady slurping tea… it’s actually no fun at all and isn’t at all the reason people watch period dramas in the first place.

And if you can so easily dismiss the importance of history, because all you care about is the romance, then allow me to inform you that this movie is utterly devoid of romance. There’s no real tension of will-they-won’t-they, since the leads so clearly still care for each other. Well, Anne cares for Frederick and Frederick is a damp cloth. I haven’t bothered to talk about his personality up until this point, because he doesn’t have one. But never fear coming out of this movie with no emotions whatsoever, because we are told what to think at the end of the movie with this gem of a quote:

“It’s okay to love on your own terms, however unorthodox. Don’t let anyone tell you how to live or who to love.”

So very Austen. We are expected to have simply take this modern interpretation, the bizarre breaking of the fourth wall and the desecration of the character… and just run with it I guess. All in the name of modernising a classic.

Well, have you suffered through this movie as well? Or are you doing the sensible thing and avoiding it like the plague? Let me know in the comments!

Little Women 2019 was a BIG DISAPPOINTMENT!

Well, Hollywood has done it again. They’ve ripped the heart and soul out of a classic story and called it an adaptation. Much like how Anne With an E, decided to go in the gritty and grim direction (and practically discarded the heartwarming story it was based on). This time though, it’s not so much darker (though there is a murky edge to the adult scenes) as it is all about “feminism”. And by that I mean, the angry, twisted, bitter kind with an undertone of man-hating. Great. Just what we needed.

Look, I get it. Little Women has so so many adaptations already that it’s hardly surprising the writers wanted to change things up and go in a different direction. Only, the logical thing to do in my book would be to *write a different story*. Not hijack something well loved and destroy it. But here we are- because Hollywood gotta make that coin and nothing sells like ruining everything we love.

What amazed me more than anything was how they desecrated the characters. They did them all dirty- but for some reason the worst changes were reserved for Marmee of all people. The loving matriarch is barely recognisable in this version- with a simmering resentment and rage under the surface… Because that’s what we needed?! I don’t understand what it is about “feminist” writers these days who seem to think anger is the solution to everything. Not grace or kindness or anything typically feminine. This is a Marmee stripped of love- who says to her wounded husband back from the war “now I can be angry at you in person”. This is a story that celebrates vice over virtue- the very antithesis of the original story. And characters like Marmee are just used as voice pieces for modern views.   

And then there’s what they did to Jo. Ironically, despite this supposedly focusing on more of the March sisters as a whole, this story is framed by Jo’s writing endeavours. For some reason, there was an ongoing focus on how it would be consistent for her not to fall in love and marry (something it’s not that hard to imagine for such a big-hearted character) but somehow not inconsistent for her to change her mind about Laurie?! Even though, it’s really clear from the story how different and ill-suited they actually are. And never mind that it ends up ruining Amy’s romance. And that it makes Jo seem petty for trying to take him back after rejecting him. And it throws a grenade into the heart of the sisterhood (which THIS MOVIE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HIGHLIGHTING MORE GAH!!) It’s a weird and unnecessary change that doesn’t work.

Add in the terrible deconstructed ending, where the kiss in the rain is purely imagination and you’ve got yourself a depressing version. Yes, shocker, we like happy endings here. It’s far better than whatever they were going for with this cold, bleak, sad conclusion that left me wanting. As beautiful as it is to see a book come together, I don’t love this story for its take on ambition. I love it for the joy and the wonder and the fact that reading about this family feels like a warm hug. Incidentally that’s why it works so well that the book starting with a small-scale scene of the little women playing. We feel like we’ve stepped into their world. This, with its choppy structure and disrespect to the original characters, is a miserable reimagining of something beautiful- and we don’t need it.

Rating: banana peel

So, have you seen this adaptation? What do you think of it? Let me know in the comments!

So, I Rewatched All the Harry Potter Movies…

And now I’m gonna give my rambly thoughts- so buckle up cos it’s gonna be a bumpy ride…

Straight away, I have to admit that these were MUCH BETTER than I was thinking they were going to be! My god I was a harsh critic as a kid! To think I didn’t like them very much back then- and yet watching as an adult I had a great time?! I know, I know, I’m really contrary. But I’m pleased to say my experiment to rewatch them all really paid off! They were a helluva lot more entertaining than I remember! (and a whole lot less ex-crucio-ating 😉 okay I’ll see myself out now 😉)

And yes, they’re not 100% true to the books, yet they have their own charm. As much as there’s still the problem where you have to explain things to people when they haven’t read all 7 books (aka my mum) I have come around to the idea that they don’t have to slavishly follow the books. Of course, I still think the books are better, but these movies can satisfy a chocolate frog craving (just as long as you don’t try rewatching them immediately after a rereading marathon like I did once!)

The biggest surprise to me was how much I enjoyed the first two movies. To be perfectly honest, I was so put off by some of the *ahem* (awkward) child acting- particularly in Philosopher’s Stone- that I never gave Columbus enough credit for capturing the sense of wonder and magic and fun in the early films. As much as I understand why they changed direction for the darker turn the story takes, I found the tone of the first couple of films really suited the series openers.

I will happily admit that I have always loved the third movie the most. It’s atmospheric, tight narratively and hits the spot emotionally. As much as I could’ve done with a deeper Marauders scene- I still think the movie is as close to perfect as it could be. Sadly, I wasn’t as keen on the fourth one (and not just because of the weird haircuts). I STAND BY THE FACT THERE SHOULD’VE BEEN A QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP MATCH SCENE!! Also Gambon is a tad OTT here (though I didn’t hate him this time round and liked the fact they chose someone entirely different to Harris- at least this way it didn’t feel like he was acting in his shadow!) I think there was enough to like about the fifth one that I won’t complain about it and the sixth was less fun than I remembered! Maybe because the “romance” scenes made me wince harder (all I’ll say with regards to shipping is that Draco and Harry are the only ones with good chemistry… 😉). And of course, it hardly needs to be said that the 7^th was the dullest- by a considerable distance (my goodness the tent scene reminds me why I don’t like camping… so boring!!) The conclusion is good… even if I personally think the way Voldemort died is a little unclear.

Anyhoo rant over. Overall, I had a fantastic time rewatching these. I really appreciated seeing all the beautiful details on screen- especially after going to the Warner Brothers Studio Tour. You can really see how much love has gone into these productions. And that’s a wrap on my thoughts on the Harry Potter movies- conveniently just in time for the reunion (which I won’t actually be watching 😅)

What do you think of the Harry Potter movies? Do you love them or loathe them? Let me know in the comments!

Monkey at the Movies – My Favourite Films in 2021!

Hello all! Seeing as I talk about all my other favourites, it’s only fair to share the best things I watched this year (not including rewatches of course!) I’m going to whizz through them, so get your popcorn out and let’s dive in…

Raya and the Last Dragon– somehow I forgot to say how great Raya and the Last Dragon was!! And it was probably my favourite movie of the year! It’s been a while since I’ve appreciated an animated movie this much 😊 It’s very much its own story, with rich characterisation and fun visuals.

Cruella– this was a lot more fun than I was expecting! Yes, it’s somewhat bonkers… but that’s kind of the point! It had a rocking aesthetic and a killer storyline 😉 I don’t know how, but it actually made me root for one of the most baddies of all time.

A Simple Favour– this was the biggest surprise of the year- it was #MuchBetterThanIExpected. Commenting on social media as much as providing a fun thrill ride, this slick story kept me feeling engaged. And I also loved the French soundtrack!

Karate Kid– I’m counting this as a new movie to me, because I literally didn’t remember anything about it. It’s a good old-fashioned stick-up-for-yourself kind of story! I love the messages in this movie and was on the edge of my seat by the end.

Taken– yes, I’m very late to the party. But wow- this was intense! I don’t think I took a breath the entire movie! This is how an action flick should be!

And that’s all folks! Have you seen any of these? Did you have a favourite film this year? Let me know in the comments!

Taking a Whirl into the Wizarding World at the Warner Bros Studio Tour!

Hello all! As I mentioned recently, I went and had a magical time at the Warner Brother’s Studio Tour! And since I had a truly wicked time, I thought I’d invite you all to hear all about it. So grab your Hogwarts acceptance letters and let’s take a trip to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter!

But before we get started BE WARNED: there will be dragons!

Of course, I will be breaking the Statute of Secrecy, but to confundus you a little bit, I won’t be telling this in the exact order of the tour. Rather I’ll be going in narrative order… which is why we’ll be stopping off at Diagon Alley first! This enchanting street was more wondrous than I ever could have imagined!

Yet, in order to enjoy all the delights Diagon Alley has to offer, we may need to steal away to Gringotts Wizard Bank. Here, I had deep aparecium for the craftsmanship and vision of the set designs. It was truly awe inspiring.

Now we are well equipped, we’d better hurry to Platform 9 ¾ and climb aboard the Hogwarts Express…

… so that we can ascendio up to Hogwarts 😉

Jokes aside, I was truly stupefied by how *charming* everything was!

I was bombardo by beautiful details everywhere I turned…

And totalus impressed by all the props.  

I even got to try my hand at flying and playing quidditch 😉

Yet not everything was fun and games- because things took a dark turn once we headed inside the Forbidden Forest…

I mean just look at that face!! 😉 But the drama was far from over- and there were some big surprises in store (don’t watch the next clip if you don’t want to see spoilers!)  

Once all my mischief was managed, I took a well-earned break, having some butterbeer and fulfilling my lifelong dream of getting a Chocolate Frog (because of course I wanted a collectible card!!!) And, as if by magic, the card I got was the one I would’ve wanted most in the world… Roweena Ravenclaw!

And that was my journey into the world of Harry Potter. I hope you enjoyed reading all about it- I know I enjoyed writing this! It really reminded me how much I enjoy the story and sparked some nostalgia 😊 I can tell you this won’t be the last you’ll be hearing from me about the Boy Who Lived!

Monthly Monkey Mini Reviews – August 2021!

Hello all! I had a really lovely month and hope you did too 😊 Been really busy, which is why I’m super late with this post, but let’s just overlook that 😂 Luckily, I’ve been out and about a lot more- the highlight of which was going to see a friend in Cambridge!

I also watched a couple of great movies last month…

A Simple Favour– this film was stylish, slick and a lot of fun. It wasn’t what I was expecting- in a good way. I thought it’d be a generic thriller about a missing woman, but this was a lot about the face we show to the world and influencer culture. It ended up poking fun at the way we see each other and how fickle our judgments can be. There was a lot more to the characters than meets the eye and was digging it (like a detective digs up clues lol 😉 #BadJokeAlert #I’mGoingAllInOnThisSocialMediaTheme #ButIDon’tKnowHowToHashtag)

Little Italy– sometimes you just need a deliciously cheesy rom com. It’s like a big, beautiful slice of pizza- comfort food at its best! And this did make me smile 😊. Focusing on a food fight that creates a feud between two Italian families, this was a (very) light-hearted take on Romeo and Juliet. Peppered with humour and a big dollop of awws, this was a really cute story. I did like the relationship between the two leads- though I actually enjoyed the romance between the grandparents more! Oh, and of course, the big side of watching this movie was it made me sooo hungry! Don’t make the mistake of watching this without a pizza of your own!

And now onto the books…

White Eagles/Firebird– I listened to these novellas on audiobook. Both of these were exciting, tense-filled dramatizations of being female fighter pilots in WW2- and I loved every second of them! White Eagle for me had a lot of heart and Firebird BLEW ME AWAY with the twist ending! Definitely recommend these for quick historical YA.

Rating: 4/5 bananas

The Catch– this thriller was a bit ridiculous. The Catch is about a father suspicious of his daughter’ fiancé who seems too good to be true- so of course this had obvious Taken vibes. For spoilery reasons I’ll keep to myself, the father doesn’t quite come across as Liam Neeson. In fact, I was convinced he was THE CREEP. And that ambiguity in a book like this could have been a good thing… but I’m just not crazy about characters, even in thrillers, stalking other people because they have “a feeling”. The other thing that bugged me was how frickin dumb all the characters are. There’s a point in the story that’s supposed to feel all claustrophobic, like the murderer is closing in on them and there’s nowhere to run… except that the character has a phone and lots of options!! Instead, said character decides the best thing would be to go to an isolated place with the person THEY ALREADY KNOW IS A KILLER!!! It doesn’t make any sense!! I have to admit though, as silly as this story seems, it was absolutely entertaining throughout. Kudos for keeping me reading when I was feeling slumpy! 

Rating: 3/5 bananas

House of Hollow– bold and bloody brilliant. Now if you’ve been around a while, you know I don’t like anything horror… but this completely broke all my rules. Because this was perfection. Gorgeously written and creepy af, this supernatural ghostly story had me all-a-tingle. Atmospheric from the start, I felt like I was knee-deep in the world Krystal Sutherland created. I even thought she did a fantastic job of nailing the North London setting and Celtic Scottish feel (which I say as someone who has lived in both places!) The only thing- and this is the tiniest of nitpicks- that pulled me out of the story was the amount of smoking in pubs (that’s been illegal since 2007, so I’m not sure when this was supposed to be set given all the social media?) Barring that, cos it doesn’t actually matter, this was a glorious read. I loved all the Hollow sisters- and definitely felt a deep connection to a literature boffin eager to find the right answer in a text! 😉  There was something simply intoxicating about House of Hollow. And that cover is to die for.

Rating: 5/5 bananas

That’s all for now! Have you read any of these? What did you think of them? Let me know in the comments! And I hope you all had a good month! ❤

Mid-Year Monkey at the Movies

Hello all! As promised in my monthly wrap up, I have some mini movie reviews for you today. There’s a little bit of the good, the bad and the ugly here (in that order) so sit tight, cos we’re in for a bumpy ride!

Carrie Pilby– charming, quirky and a lot of fun, this was thoroughly enjoyable. While it had indie vibes, it embraced classic storytelling. The character arcs were beautifully done- showing that even if Carrie is a genius, she doesn’t know everything after all. It also went further, showing how pain can reverberate across the years. All credit to the writers and actors, cos this was a super fun story. I’d happily rewatch it!

Rating: 4.5/5 bananas

The Woman in the Window– there are lots of angles through which to view this film: voyeuristically curious about the scandalous background of the author; from the perspective of a reader who read (and maybe even enjoyed) the book (like me); or just as someone who likes watching a good thriller. Yet none of those angles will make this film any more enjoyable. Because this film shows up all the shockingly awful decisions in the book. Without the flashy writing, the story just doesn’t seem to work. It’s convoluted, it’s poorly signposted and it’s all over the place. And none of the fancy camera work changes that. Even with modern technology, you can’t beat the likes of Rear Window (which this poorly tries to imitate). What made for an entertaining read (pre-authorial baggage) made for painful viewing.

Rating: 1/5 bananas

The Dig– eh- this wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t that good either. While the performances are good and the story decent, I found this forgettable. Mostly, because no one has a character arc. NO ONE. Either the protagonists or the people around them should change… but that’s not the case in this film. The protagonists have static arcs. The vague antagonists- who oppose the main archaeologist over class- continue to do so by the end. The only reason I was engaged in this movie was because Sutton Hoo is interesting- yet I don’t see why this couldn’t have been a documentary.

Rating: 3/5 bananas

Mary Queen of Scots– boy-oh-boy this takes liberties with history. It goes too far in my book, presenting Mary’s Catholicism as a marginalised belief… when it was the conservative and powerful position. To make matter worse, her faith is also portrayed as tolerant, having her say things like “we all go to the same heaven” and to a male character “you would make a lovely sister”. Even Queen Elizabeth I is oddly sentimental. It’s all in the name of woke feminism- which does not make for a logically coherent historical drama. But who cares about that when you can score brownie points, amiright?! In fairness, the history is *bonkers*. Looking up what actually happened kept me engaged throughout the movie- and damn, if they’d just gone with that, it would have been an excellent film. The problem is, they tried too hard to make Mary a flawless heroine, when she is better suited to the role of a tragic Shakespearean figure, whose fatal flaws are her undoing. BUT NO- the movie has to insist her dismissing every councillor makes her clever. And that it’s somehow everyone else’s fault when they turn against her. Oh and it’s also great to be compassionate (even if it costs lives). It’s funny, because the film is designed to be anti-English, yet to my mind, all it did was show how useless Mary was as a leader (even while carefully glossing over Mary’s plots to take Elizabeth’s throne, somehow trying to make her seem conciliatory). The juxtaposition of her rule with Elizabeth’s doesn’t help to make a case for her reign. This is exemplified in the scene where Mary and Elizabeth meet (which of course is entirely made up). Mary calls Elizabeth her inferior and says “I’m your queen”- to which Elizabeth takes off her wig and says “your gifts are your downfall”. Frankly this makes no sense- 1) because there’s NO WAY Mary could have said that to Elizabeth and lived another 20 years and 2) because the logical response would’ve been “says the woman who’s just lost a kingdom”. She didn’t lose the kingdom because she was pretty FFS- she did so because she didn’t know how to rule. It’s just so ironic that this is the best case they could come up with for Mary Queen of Scots. If they hadn’t been trying so hard to be woke and refusing to acknowledge a female character’s flaws, this could’ve been a damn good drama. Ultimately however, as much as I enjoyed how it was shot, the acting, the history, it was a colossal waste of time. 

Rating: 2.5 bananas

That’s all for now! Have you seen any of these? What did you think of them? Am I being too harsh? Let me know in the comments!

All the Adaptations I’ve Loved and Hated

Hello all! inspired by the recent Shadow and Bone adaptation, I decided to make a list of TV and movie adaptations I feel strongly about. As you can imagine, this could’ve been an absolutely ginormous list, so I decided to stick to best and worst adaptations (in my opinion of course 😉). So there’s nothing here I feel lukewarm or so-so about. I also didn’t include adaptations where I hated the books to begin with (Divergent, Twilight) or where the book series hasn’t finished yet (GOT). And, obviously, I have to be familiar with the original series.

Let’s get started with my favourites:

The Lord of the Rings– well, obviously. These movies were a massive part of inspiring my lifelong love of reading. And I’m one of those people that prefers the Lord of the Rings movies to the books (sacrilege, I know, but they’re my favourite films of all time).  

Stardust– this movie is *magical*. Again, it’s one where I actually prefer the adaptation to the book, because it’s just so damn good. I will happily rewatch this over and over!

Shadow and Bone– this may be a bold choice, since I saw this really recently (and isn’t a complete series yet). That said, going off of what I’ve seen so far, I think it both captures the best aspects of the Grishaverse and improves upon the source material. I can’t wait to watch more of it!

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before– switching things up, this contemporary perfectly adapts the source material, bringing all the humour, quirky characters and sisterhood to the screen. I’m not ashamed to say I’ve rewatched it *so many times*!

Love Simon– this is another contemporary I love to rewatch. Personally, while I enjoyed the book, the film felt a little slicker and I got more out of it.

Atonement– I’ve made no secret of the fact I don’t love McEwan’s writing style… but I adore this film. It’s an exquisitely shot, beautifully acted historical romance, with a brilliant soundtrack. And even if that wasn’t enough to make me love it- I also love the slightly different ending. It worked so well for me.

Pride and Prejudice– there’s a lot of debate about the best Austen adaptation, but quite simply, this is it for me. I can happily rewatch/reread anything Austen related- yet this is the one I binge annually. It is just classic bliss.

Bleak House– another perfect adaptation from Andrew Davies, this TV series has such strong  Dickensian energy and brilliantly brings the story and characters to life.

And now let’s move onto adaptations I DESPISE- WARNING UNPOPULAR OPINIONS AHEAD!!!!!!

The Hobbit– well I have to start with the most egregious example of an “adaptation”. Because this butchers the source material and brings nothing good to the table. I won’t go on about this too much- as I’ve already discussed it at length– but this adaptation still makes me mad. It doesn’t help that the Hobbit is one of my all-time favourite books- yet I’m still amazed that they managed to mess it up quite this much. Choosing Peter Jackson to adapt this book- when he doesn’t even like the original story- makes no sense (even if he did a great job with LOTR).

Harry Potter– okay, *deep breath* everybody, I know this is an unpopular opinion. I’ve just never enjoyed these movies. I know that a lot of people are very attached to them, but I have remained the kinda disappointed, hipster child that couldn’t get on board with these adaptations. It certainly didn’t help that they left out huge things and changed a lot (though I do like the videos by Dominic Noble exploring all the ways they messed up on that front)- I just never vibed with them. I tried to rewatch them at the beginning of lockdown 1… and gave up after trying the first couple of movies because they weren’t for me. Maybe one day I’ll challenge myself and try again- yet I don’t see myself changing my mind- sorry!

The Golden Compass– there were actually things about the movie that I liked (most specifically, some aspects of Lyra’s portrayal). However, we all know this is nothing like the book, starting with the dumb title change. If you want to see an actually good adaptation (though not perfect) definitely try His Dark Materials… but in both cases I still recommend sticking to the books first and foremost.

The Mortal instruments– I mean, do I even need to get into why? This is just one in a long string of Hollywood badly adapting a YA series (and I’m only picking on it cos it’s the one where I’ve read the whole series and watched the adaptation). They messed up half the story and the way they did Valentine was laughable… and then they blamed fans for not liking it enough for a second movie adaptation.

Shadowhunters– okay, this one might also make people angry… but I don’t like the show either! For very different reasons. I hate the acting and the weird changes and the special effects look really unnatural to me. I gave up on this show very quickly and just watched the Malec scenes (cos they’re what it’s all about anyway). Still, I do think it’s astounding that there are two adaptations of the same story and I hate them both (maybe it doesn’t help that I’ve since gone off the source material too).

Always and Forever Lara Jean– annnd this also did everything I hate in Hollywood adaptations. With this one, I think it’s more of a shame, as I actually enjoyed the way the book series ended. It stripped the story of all its meaning and most of its subtlety. I wasn’t a fan of the second movie, but then I didn’t enjoy the second book. Worst of all, I felt like where the book finally brought the couple back together, this removed any remaining chemistry they had. Not worth watching.

My Sister’s Keeper– bit of a random throwback, yet I can never quite forget how utterly betrayed I felt by this adaptation. Changing the ending ruined everything this story had to say.

And that’s all I’ve got for now! Do you agree or disagree with any of my picks? And what are your favourite book adaptations? Which ones do you hate the most? Let me know in the comments!