Best Books for Healing a Heartbreak

So, you’ve had your heart broken and you don’t know where to turn and you fuzzy tear-filled mind thinks, how about a nice book? But they’re all happy, clappy romances and you don’t know what to do- well I’ve got you covered for every mood you can be in post-break-up or heartbreak.

One True Loves– plaintively capturing themes of love and loss, this unusual contemporary shines a light on the concept of “one true love”. Perhaps, after all, it is possible to have more than one 😉

Song of Achilles– if what you need is a good cry, then my goodness this book has you covered! *Be warned* though, this romantic retelling of Achilles and Patroclus, may break your heart all over again.

Noughts and Crosses– of course I had to include this star-crossed lovers alternate history! It’s the ultimate heartbreaker!

A Man Called Ove– a book about coping, or struggling to cope, with the loss of love in the later stages of life. This story let’s us know that love, hope and happiness can be found in even the most unlikely of places. It isn’t always easy, but it is ultimately uplifting.

Wuthering Heights– hauntingly romantic, this romance is so dysfunctional that, at the very least, it won’t have you envying the leads 😉

Tess of the D’Urbervilles– for those wanting to revel in heartbreak, then this is the book for you. Tragic and painful, this story proves that even angels can break your heart 😉 A dark picture of romance, Hardy writes of broken innocence and the cruelty of love.

Second Chance Summer– an emotional read, this YA contemporary is about getting second chance in romance and familial love. Because sometimes we need a little hope.

The Road Trip– on that note, this sweet romance can definitely serve as a pick-me-up. As is a frequent feature of Beth O’Leary books, this story moves from a painful situation to finding happiness, as we get to see former lovers reunite on an unexpected journey. There’s heart-breaking moments for sure- yet it all works out in the end!

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before– speaking of happier heartbreak stories, this is fundamentally a story about first love and falling out of love. It shows us that maybe the person we aren’t supposed to be with a fantasy. And maybe the universe has something far greater waiting just around the corner. After all, not all books about heartbreak have to end in tears.

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone– a book for healing, this is the memoir of a therapist as she goes through her own therapy. At its heart, it focuses on Gottlieb’s own breakup and the deeply personal lessons learnt from it. Lessons that can be applied to our own troubles and heartbreaks (spoil alert: it goes deeper than just calling her ex a dog… which is a conclusion you may or may not reach on your own 😉)

It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken– there had to be at least one of those popular self-help titles on this list 😉 I promise it’s a good one! Even in the throes of depression, this book will make you laugh and feel *a lot* better about your heartache. Partly thanks to a sense of schadenfreude (I found myself going “well at least I didn’t do that!” numerous times), partly thanks to the comforting advice (with a heavy dose of what notto do) and mostly thanks to the ways it points out that the failed relationship was most likely shit anyway. With its personal stories of going through a breakup and coming out the other side, this book can help anyone going a hard time.

And that’s all for now! Have you read any of the books on this list? Do you have any heartbreak books to add? Let me know in the comments!

GIVE ME A BREAK!! Horribly *Toxic* Romances I Wish I’d Never Read…

I wish I could dump all these books! Because I’m so tired of toxic tropes and bad romances. And these are in the romance novels we’re supposed to revere. There’s a plethora of unhealthy relationships in books- and I’m here to call it out!

Twilight– it’s not simply that I don’t find sparkly vampires sexy- it’s that I can’t stand Edward’s controlling behaviour, possessiveness and downright stalking. The so-called loving relationship in this series is built on abusive behaviour patterns. Add in the side piece Jacob being EVEN MORE toxic, with his manipulative behaviour and sexual assault, and it’s no surprise this book gets called out for its poor representation of romance.

Fifty Shades of Grey– oh my- I didn’t realise a book could be as bad as this. In all honesty, who is surprised to see this book on here? Christian Grey is a poster boy for billionaire abusers. And this book is a great example of how coercion is not consent.

Beautiful Disaster– Travis is walking red flag- oh but he’s hot, so it’s okay apparently.

The Duke and I– shockingly unromantic. Leaving the communication issues aside, the main character actually believes she has every right to rape her partner… and even blames him for it. Just an icky book.

It Ends With Us– ironically, this book is trying to turn the narrative on its head, by showing us how you can miss the red flags. Unfortunately, I feel like it fails horribly. Making excuses for the abuser, inserting another (unhealthy) relationship in the book (which began when the mc was underage) and deciding to still have contact with the abuser. If you’re looking for a book to shine a light on domestic abuse, this is not it.   

Time Traveller’s Wife– because grooming is not romantic.

Foxhole Court– cos the rapey vibes gross me out.  

A Court of Thorns and Roses– people say Tamlin’s character was ruined in later books. I disagree. He was too bland to be ruined. The fact that he morphs into an abusive man-child qualifies him for this list. And that’s not even considering the fact that all the so-called “healthy” relationships in this series are completely co-dependent. No one in Maas’ series can cope outside of a relationship it seems. Yet apparently that’s a-okay because they’re “mates” (yeuch).  

Normal People– for all its pretention, this is simply a romance book. And a bad one at that. The couple in this are self-centred and treat everyone around them as collateral damage. Their being so ghastly should in fact make them exempt from this list- since I was trying to choose books that were romantic- but I made an exception here because I don’t think we’re actually supposed to view them as vile. Even if they absolutely deserve each other.  

The Notebook– call me old-fashioned, but endless shouting matches don’t really scream romantic to me. Apart from the cheating aspect (which is also completely toxic) they simply communicate in a really unpleasant way. Books like this don’t age well.

And that’s it for now! Do you want to dump these books (in a fire) too? Do you have any more to add (to the furnace)? Let me know in the comments!

Inside Out Book Tag

Hello all! Hope this Day-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named is treating you well… 😉 Nah, I’m kidding, I don’t have (many) hang-ups over Valentine’s Day- which is why I decided to drag up this book tag which was buried deep, deep down in my drafts to prove it! Thank you so much to the Paper Dragon for tagging me to do this (also remember when you tagged me to do this? No? Fair enough… It was over a year ago!) So, whatever Valentine’s Day makes you feel- love, anger, ambivalence- I hope you enjoy this very emotional tag!

A book that brings you JOY

It’s been ages since I read this and it still gives me the warm fuzzies when I think about it!

A book that makes you SAD

Amazing book though!

A book that makes you ANGRY

I was furious with Long Way to a small Angry Planet… as you may already know.

A book that DISGUSTS you

Ooh that’s a strong emotion- I think Lolita– even though I actually think it’s a really well written book, the subject matter is just so gross to me that I struggled to get through it.

A book that brings you FEAR

*Shudders*

Okey dokey! That was fun! I tag:

Bookidote, My Midnight Musing, Drew, Never Seen A Nevergreen, Rivermoose Reads, Keira and Captain’s Quarters (ahoy there!)

Feel free to ignore if you’ve already done this!

And happy Valentine’s Day to you all! And let me know in the comments which book you read recently that brought out a strong emotional response!

Can personal experience ruin a book?

Right now I’m gonna be talking about…

…you have been warned.

So obviously it’s coming up to Valentine’s Day and I’m thinking about *feelings* more, but really what inspired this post was that recently I read a book that I didn’t relate to. Now that’s hardly noteworthy… except that, without going into detail, I had personal experience of the subject matter and really should have related to it.

It got me wondering if personal experience can actually ruin a book. Not in that it might have “too much” of an effect– I will give a story credit for affecting me emotionally and even for taking me to dark places- but when it fails to hit that (sometimes excruciating) mark I will frankly be a bit peeved. When a book holds back on the painful punches, when it simplifies things, when it moralises- I feel a million miles away from it. It’s no good if difficult stories are prettied up for the sake of the audience. And it’s only more noticeable if I can say “no no no, it’s not like that at all”.

That’s not to say every experience is the same- but sometimes the way a character or story is constructed just doesn’t add up. Take Thirteen Reasons Why– a story written to reflect on the motivations of a friend who committed suicide. For me, and others, it missed the mark, because not only did it trivialise the reasons for suicide, it felt like it was ramming a message down my throat and the character’s emotions were way off (to name a few of the thirteen issues I had with it). In short, I just did not find it relatable.

Now none of this is to say that you have to have personal experience to write these difficult or traumatic stories. As someone that likes fantasy I don’t think it should always be “write what you know”- heck if that were the case Harry Potter wouldn’t exist (unless JK Rowling is secretly a boy wizard abused by his relatives). But- and here’s a big BUT- the author *really* needs to have empathy and go to all of the dark places inside the head of someone in a horrible situation- otherwise, what’s the point? If an author can’t write about someone’s struggles, then they should give their protagonist an easy life and be done with it. Don’t ride on the coattails of something difficult for the sake of being *deep and meaningful*- it will only do the issue the author is trying to bring to light a disservice.

Ok, that got a little bit more ranty than I meant it to. But what do you think? Am I the only one that has this problem? Let me know in the comments!